Head, troath, and hearth...a little.

[miguel]

Since two days ago im having an uncomfortable pressure in different spots of my head.The spots in wich i feel that uncomfortable pressure vary along the day.
It began two days ago with an strange headache.I say strange because is a different than a headache. Its like a pressure and i feel heat  in those spots.the intensity of the heat varies also.
Yesterday i was all the evening and night with an unconfortable pressure in the point between my eyebrows.It was very uncomfortable.
Now for example i feel the uncomfortable pressure with a little pain in a spot near medulla oblongata,aa spot of my forehead (no third aye),and i a spot in my jaw.
yesterday also i felt the pressure in medulla oblangata,in the troath,and in hearth area (no much there).
They are not fixed spots.They vary with de hours and days.I feel heat in the sopts.Energy bolcks.most common spots are in my head.all the day.It is not like pure  phisycal pain.Its like emotional pain.More subtle than phisical.
I think its relatd to almost one month of 2 mtes of pranayama practice before DM.And its very uncomfortable.Yesterday the presure between eyebrows was very uncomfortable.sometime there is pressure in crown area.
Other times i feel hot energy runing inside my head,and with somthing like extatic feelings and other times non extatic feelings.
I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS TRYING TO GETS OPEN IN HEAD AREA (MY NADIS,NERVOUS SYSTEM YOU KNOW..),BUT THERE ARE BLOCKS.
Any advice? How can i manage this situation? its very unpleasant...
this last night i had dreams in wich i took out lot of mental-anger (and maybe non mental also) to a  person that i know.I have lot of anger accumulated because of that person since i was i child.I my dreams i hit him,insulted him,blasphemed (blocks related to christian religion education and close mind points of view of life, since my childhood)...after that,i felt liberated in that dream,i think.
Its very difficult to me to write about this...because its the most common cause of all my problems in life i think and feel.and a very deep trauma inside me.Very difficult to me,it makes me cry writing this post.I feel guilty writing about this person also...for saying bad things abou that person...
Today,nowadays, i have a better relationship with that person,because im an adult,non a child or a teenager.And spiritual practices helped and are helping me a lot.This person for years made me feel like...rubbish...
Thanks...i feel lot of pain....in hearth area now...

[miguel]

I have tons of violence inside.All my life lots of people treated me with great violence.
Im only a sensitive boy,with a great femenine side.i like nature,love,women,arts...
I feel like those women who are treated with violence by some men.I hate them.i hate them from the bottom of my hearth.With tears in my eyes now,i hate those bad persons who hit  others.
I have had lot of phisical violence from other guys since a child. I hate those people.
from the bottom of my hearth.
Please,let me publish this post,its my own kundalini process.I need to get al this s**t free.
i cant understand that violent masculine attitudes.I cant.I try it,but i cant.they are like beasts.

WOW,after writing this post i dont feel that pain in my head (ony a litle ).Some tears came.I feel better than before.

[Yonatan]

I'm really sorry to hear that you feel that pain miguel..

It is probably (sounds like) a lot of purification going on, and it will most probably pass over time..
It's good that you can come here and express all those emotions and feel better, I'm happy for you..

After purification finishes though there's a great release and if the release is not strongly felt it is probably subtle and may effect your life in may subtle ways..

The advice that I can give is to allow this to happen, and "feel" all that is happening in the purification, and if there's mental or emotional rejection of it....

alow that to happen too..

Lots of Love and Light,

Yonatan

[miguel]

Thank you very much yonatan.I love your post.Very comforting and inspiring.

Now,after writing those posts,i dont feel pain and pressure like before.some tears came,and after...something dissapered.
NOW I FEEL ONLY A GREAT PRESSURE ON THE TOP OF MY HEAD.Its going up.Its like energy trying to get a free road. to the cosmic realms.
great pressure on the top of my head.
I now some parts of this posts are better in relationshios sections,but all that words are the emotinal,mental,universal expression of all this opening that is happening here.
Thank you very much and please,help me maninaging this pressure in different areas (now its focused in crown).something is awekening inside me,i feel lots of movement inside this 2 last days.
PS-Its my imagination,or this lasts days simmilar symphtoms are happening here in kundalini ayp section...i read some post from other people experiences related to crown opening and things like that.Whats happening?
im having lot of movement inside of my since two days ago...maybe its related to aypp spanish translations im doing now.I have that intuition...i dont know exactly whats happening,but some help with this pressure in different are will be much apreciated.now i feel it on the top of my head.Its the first time i experience this,The last days it was like it was trying to go to the crown but it was accumulated between jaws and forehead.Now,its in crown area,i feel great emotional and physical pain there,pressure and little heat.i feel fear on the top of my head,an emotional feeling realated to fear,and it dont allow the energy move beyond there.There is a block related with fear.i feel that is...there...
I have taken heavy food half hour ago.I felt it was necessary.i needed that food.
I feel i want to sleep deeply,half hour would be enough,but i cant,im a little active,no much.But i cant sleep,and i need it,last night i had bad dreams and i think i didnt rest enough.
This morning i didnt do my sadhanna.I feel it was not necessary,there was enough purification for the moment.

[miguel]

quote:it is probably subtle and may effect your life in MAY subtle ways..

Yonatan,i think you used the word MAY in a wrong way in the sentence (or maybe its right,im not an expert in the use of english)...doesnt matter,i have lot of english mistakes for example...
WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY with this is: now we are in may (the month),and maybe this is a message from universe telling me that in this month an important opening is happening here.only to express this intuition,not to criticize your english...i think your english is excellent[]
Maybe you channeled it for me althought you didnt realized...thanks!

[Yonatan]

Have you read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle?

He says there that as the pain-body awakens, it is possible to dissipate it by laying your attention on the places where you feel the pain, or if it is mental pain, be attentive and "watch" that happening.. it has been suggested in this forum, in some thread (couldn't find it),

But if it is on the crown, then it has also been suggested in this forum not to put the attention on the crown, it may make things worse I think. but you can use it with other pains in the body or with the emotions.

I know it is probably very discomforting what is happening to you (things like this happened to me lots), but still my best advice is to let it be, don't worry, it will pass, and it may lead to a better feeling experience..

Lots of Love,

and keep updating,

Yonatan

[Katrine]

Hi Miguel

I am sorry you have been treated like that, Miguel.....
I too was beaten when growing up, so the hatred you speak of.....I know what it feels like. When living in USA when I was 19-20 I went to a councilor....it helped a lot to speak about it....and that "venting" of the burden was the start of the healing process.

Next time these troublesome feelings come up....see if you can let go of the need to lable them "hatred"..."anger".....etc. See if you can manage to just allow the feeling itself to come up....flow up for as long as the momentum of it lasts.....and then naturally subside of itself .....don't fall for the temptation to tell a story about it inside (this will often unnecessarily prolong the feeling)....come back to the pure feeling....much in the same way you come back to the mantra. Cry when the need to cry is here. Allow everything energetically....but see if you can let go of the thoughts and lables that come up.....

Also.....
This is a question of self-pacing. You are sensitive so you need to self-pace accordingly.

If you are too interested in what is taking place inside the body....the pressures...the spots you speak of....all of this will be amplified if you busily attend to it and talk about it inside constantly (it is great that you tell us here though ...thanks for sharing). Inside though.....it will help if you let go of it. Allow the feelings to come and go. And then do something else....go visit a friend....eat a nice meal....see a good movie......speak with someone that will make you laugh.....look at a flower.....whatever makes you happy

 

quote:I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS TRYING TO GETS OPEN IN HEAD AREA (MY NADIS,NERVOUS SYSTEM YOU KNOW..),BUT THERE ARE BLOCKS

Yes...."something" is definitely opening
This "something" will take care of the blocks. No need to concern yourself with it. Let it take care of itself, Miguel.

Just meditate.....the amount you feel you can safely do it....and then be concerned with enjoying what there is to enjoy. What is your favorite occupation? What makes you "tick"?

All the suffering....all the pain......none of it is a mistake, Miguel. For some reason.....we chose to come here....and learn compassion. And...the way it is felt today....is that nothing has been more educating compassion-wise... than the suffering and pain directly experienced. So know that all you are going through happens....within an intelligent design. Also.....the ones that hit and abuse.....they too are suffering. They are acting from ignorance.....They cannot see the full consequences of their actions. Their hearts are often locked inside a tightness....and one day they too will have to break out of that hard covering. If someone you encounter in life afflict you with pain....know that you can always use that opportunity in a constructive way. Let what is released within you come forward....do not judge your own judging...nor that of others....if it is too much to handle....pray to your ishta....and trust that all is well though it seems not.



Here is a poem written some years ago:

To not be a wound

To not be a wound
is all-encompassing;
It is all-consuming

To not be a wound
is dark and heavy;
a drag, a debt

To not be a wound
is terribly quiet;
a terror, a truce

To be a wound
is a deathly stench;
It is raw and ruthless

Yet:
Please do not cover me
Please keep looking
Please let me be

The space; the air,
the touch; the stare,
is how I,

through me,

will heal




Walk in peace Miguel

[Katrine]

Shalom Yonatan

We cross posted

[Yonatan]

Shalom Katrine

miguel,

 

quote:Maybe you channeled it for me althought you didnt realized...thanks!

That's great, maybe I did, and maybe it is a message from the universe (I meant to say "many", hehe)

Hope your opening goes well

[miguel]

Hi dear katrine,

 

quote:I went to a councilor

hummm...i dont understand the meaning of councilor (i used diccionary but no sucess..)...can you explain me with other words please?...

 

quote:)....come back to the pure feeling....much in the same way you come back to the mantra.

humm..i think this could help me...ill try it.

 

quote:Cry when the need to cry is here

There is a strong need for crying,but most of the times i cant,i cant cry,its very difficult to me,i would like...and all the pain is still inside...how wonderful it would be if i could cry...

 

quote:....all of this will be amplified if you busily attend to it and talk about it inside constantly (it is great that you tell us here though ...thanks for sharing).

Its a thing i do most of the time...when i feel bad i pay atention to the feelings,i do some bhakti (focusing the feelings towards the choosen ideal...now its the witness state[]),i use the breathing...i write about it (sometimes)...one thing i did when i was a teenager (until 23 years more or less) was composing songs with lyrics using my guitar.I loved music.
Now,i dont know why,when i feel bad,i cant use my guitar,or listening music.I feel repulse,i feel lot of pain and things moving inside me.

 

quote:Inside though.....it will help if you let go of it. Allow the feelings to come and go. And then do something else....go visit a friend....eat a nice meal....see a good movie......speak with someone that will make you laugh.....look at a flower.....whatever makes you happy

I do,but now,most of this activities are a reflect of my own healing process.Yesterday i was with a special friend of mine,and altought he thinks he is only spending a good time in the streets,for me is a healing process also,i do bhakti yoga at free time also (only a little),and i pay attention what life is trying to teach me trought the soul of this friend.

 

quote:What is your favorite occupation?

Spiritual practice,lectures.... for healing me and others[]
Its "more of the same thing"...i have an intense longing inside,it burns inside...

 

quote:....is that nothing has been more educating compassion-wise... than the suffering and pain directly experienced.

Totally agree,but a hard thing...


Your poem made me cry,specially the last words.Than you my friend.

Yet:
Please do not cover me
Please keep looking
Please let me be

The space; the air,
the touch; the stare,
is how I,

through me,

will heal

[miguel]

Hi yonatan,i know your intention was saying "many".But "may" helped more than many in a subtle level, i feel[]

Thanks for you helping hand.
I wish you all the best.

[Katrine]

Hi Miguel

 

quote:hummm...i dont understand the meaning of councilor (i used diccionary but no sucess..)...can you explain me with other words please?...

Yes....at the university there would be people who worked as advisers. They were not psycotherapists (or whatever one calls it ...:-)...but they had studied psycology and had dialogues with the students about how they were getting on at the univeristy. I was lucky and got a really good adviser. He listened...and had a calmness about him.....and posed gentle questions...and soon the trust was there to be open about the past. It didn't take more than 2-3 consultations....but his perspective ....and way of being.... made all the difference here.

 

quote:There is a strong need for crying,but most of the times i cant,i cant cry,its very difficult to me,i would like...and all the pain is still inside...how wonderful it would be if i could cry...

Yes....it will come of itself, Miguel. Gradually the grip inside will loosen. Just allow the process to unfold....

 

quote:Now,i dont know why,when i feel bad,i cant use my guitar,or listening music.I feel repulse,i feel lot of pain and things moving inside me.

Yes....this is how it is. Allow this too.....it will pass, Miguel. And you will play again....and music will touch you again.....

 

quote:and i pay attention what life is trying to teach me through the soul of this friend.

That's beautiful
I found that life most of all "spoke" to me about simply enjoying.....when with a friend.....how beautiful it is if one is just present with them. Like you say....much is taught through presence....because then one is open and receptive. And I tell you....if you make me laugh...then that's it ........love laughing....it takes care of everything in an instant

 

quote:What is your favorite occupation? Spiritual practice,lectures.... for healing me and others

*lol*....yes....now this sounds strangely familiar...*lol*...
Honestly though....to thorroughly engage in life is also very healing...it is all about balance. We cannot give what we are not....so enjoying...which is always directly being....is necessary too.

The burning longing inside.....sometimes it can be too much. It is the greatest inward-propelling force....but self-pacing is needed with this too...in order not to be overwhelmed by it.

What gives you peace, Miguel?

 

quote:Your poem made me cry,specially the last words.Than you my friend.

You're most welcome....

And see.....you do know how to cry

[miguel]

Thank you very much Katrine.

[miguel]

Hi all,

After some days with pressure whit heat at some spots in my head,it dissapered two days ago...but know since yesterday im very suprised because i have FACIAL PARALISIS in some areas of my face.
I cant blink whit my right aye along the day (but i can close it for sleeping for example),I cant use the muscles of the rigt side of my mouth.When im eating or drinking the food and water  come out from my mouth.When i try to laugh,only half of my mouth can does it.And i look like an person with facial paralisis.And all this paralisis i know is related to a big pressure and heat and pain in a spot back of my head,near oblangata medulla that i have now since yesterday.
Im a little scared,bcause i dont know whats happening.All i know is that its related to my yoga practices.Today i think i have more paralisis that yesterday.Today i cant blink my right eye,and yesterday i could.

Anybody could help me with this???im a little scared...

[yogani]

quote:Originally posted by miguel

Hi all,

After some days with pressure whit heat at some spots in my head,it dissapered two days ago...but know since yesterday im very suprised because i have FACIAL PARALISIS in some areas of my face.
I cant blink whit my right aye along the day (but i can close it for sleeping for example),I cant use the muscles of the rigt side of my mouth.When im eating or drinking the food and water  come out from my mouth.When i try to laugh,only half of my mouth can does it.And i look like an person with facial paralisis.And all this paralisis i know is related to a big pressure and heat and pain in a spot back of my head,near oblangata medulla that i have now since yesterday.
Im a little scared,bcause i dont know whats happening.All i know is that its related to my yoga practices.Today i think i have more paralisis that yesterday.Today i cant blink my right eye,and yesterday i could.

Anybody could help me with this???im a little scared...

Hi Miguel:

See a doctor right away to check if this is medically related.

If it is a product of spiritual purification and opening, it should clear up soon. Reduce practices until then.

But better to be safe than sorry. See a doctor.

The guru is in you.