Hi
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Just wanted to share some experiences from the last few days. A few days ago I experienced great stillness. I was sitting inside a huge space that felt enclosed and safe. A few energy bursts flew up into my heart, like a million valentine candies full of love and light. It was wonderful.
And then last night, during pranayama my hear began beating fast. I continued the practice, and after about 5 minutes it was fluttering so fast, and would not calm down, that I became scared. There was too much energy. I remembered the lessons - if an experience is so strong that you can't give attention to the practice, just be with it. And so I sat there with a racing heart for a long time. A couple times I tried picking up the spinal breathing again, but each time it caused and intensifying of the energy. So I just sat with it.
After it cooled down a little bit, I decided to try meditation. About 20 seconds worth of I AM and I felt the impending energy of a thunderhead. And so instead of meditating, I just sat there experiencing the high energy flow. Not really enjoying it, but letting it do its thing. When I was calm at last, I laid down for a few minutes. All in all the session was about 5 minutes of pranayama, and 30 minutes of calming down afterward.
Afterward I felt fine (probably because I've had my bell rung worse than thata few times before, i.e. real panic attacks). Then today I had two rather uneventful full sessions like normal.
Just wanted to share that sometimes self pacing might just be backing off from a bad experience. And also that these high energy experiences can be positive or negative - but ultimately they're both just experiences. And finally that I've only been doing AYP for a few months, and that I'm realizing that SBP/DM/Samyama is plenty for me for a while - that even the basic AYP routine has the potential to be cleaning and purifying for me for a long long time. When I started here, I was in a hurry to get enlightened, and I wanted immediate proof that this was causing observable results. Now I'm seeing there's no hurry, and yes it's working, and it's working plenty fast.
