Again, I sympathize. You try the kundalini experiment, stuff happens, genies don't go back in bottles, it's all a bit more than you bargained for, and nobody can "fix" you (though the internet's full of opinions), and you can't discuss it with family/friends without sounding like a nut. The kundalini makes everything feel super "significant", which throws off your reasoning, and you find yourself applying super ardent fervidness to your efforts to be less super ardent and fervid. You try to simply surrender to issues, but surrender's what got you into this in the first place, so it's like a Chinese finger trap that tightens as you try to escape. I get it, I do!
Comedy isn't a bad course to take. It strips away some of that "grave significance of it all" feeling, and it's grounding. Laughing at yourself takes you at least partly there. And FWIW, you don't seem particularly whacky. You're one of the more grounded ones. I was whackier when I was in the thick of it. And I still need to step gingerly....still not back to 20 min meditation sessions (I'm at 10).
Engage. Laugh. Do stuff in the world. Go outward, don't stay obsessing inward. And do nano-practices, not zero practices. And Tai Chi, or whichever of my suggestions feel natural to you.
It dismays me when cancer survivors deem themselves Cancer Survivors. There's more to life than Having Been Sick Once. Same with Kundalini. Don't turn into a Kundalini Person. Get back; get back to where you once belonged. Seize the carpe diem. Work, exercise, joke, hang out, walk. And avoid pitta producing foods (NO spice, NO alcohol)! Pretend to be normal until it "keeps". That's the escape from the loop.
