Extreme restlessness after meditation

[ryodo63]

Dear Yogani, dear all,

thank you very much for creating this wonderful AYP-site and for sharing so much useful information with anyone who cares to know it! I have been practicing meditation for over 20 years now, but it's only recently that I found your site.
Still, there is one problem that really keeps haunting me and that I can't solve, not even with all the advice you give:
Whenever I tap into deep silence, samadhi, bliss consciousness, pretty soon - usually in the evening and then in the night following the meditation session(s) - I experience some profound restlessness which practically keeps me from getting any sleep. My skin starts to burn as if with neurodermatitis, I toss and I turn in my bed and it's only in the wee hours before dawn that I fall into a kind of exhausted sleep and I wake up feeling pretty awkward.
I have tried many things during all those years, including just continuing my meditation practice (which leads to a series of agitated nights until my body is so exhausted that I either give up or fall sick), refraining from meditation altogether (which helps as long as I stick with it and a bit longer, since it usually takes some sessions to tap into bliss consciousness again after pausing), using different methods and so on, but nothing has really worked. The only thing that "helps" in a way is using a zen meditation that focusses exclusively on mindfulness and only registering "what is" and strictly avoids any kind of meditative absorption. But even so, if I sit for longer periods like for instance with my little zen group, agitation keeps coming back to me in the night.
My zen teacher suggested I started to work with my negative emotions, which I tried, even with the help of a therapist, but to no avail. Following the AYP suggestions I tried to reduce meditation time, but even by cutting back to five minutes of sitting time per session (twice a day) - as soon as there is only a split second of deep silence, restlessness follows and keeps me from sleeping. I also tried some five minutes of spinal breathing before deep meditation during the last four weeks (which felt a bit clumsy in the beginning but got smoother soon, still, it didn't help to reduce the restlessness).
So, you see, I really feel stuck and any suggestion or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Looking forward to your reply,

Yours sincerely
Ryodo

[yogani]

Hi Ryodo, and welcome!

Clearly you have a sensitivity to meditation, which means your nervous system is sensitive and purifies itself quickly with very little transcendence in stillness.

I can't comment much on the approaches you have tried over the years, but can offer a few tips from the AYP point of view. First, if symptoms of purification are excessive and uncomfortable, we "self-pace" (reduce the duration of) any practices we are doing that are causing the discomfort. It is not uncommon for sensitive meditators to reduce their meditation time to a few minutes twice each day for some time, and engage in more grounding activity in the daily routine to achieve the right balance (exercise, social activity, service, etc.). And if no meditation practice is best for a time, then so be it. Nothing to be ashamed of. A high level of spiritual sensitivity is actually a gift. You only need to find ways to let it unfold naturally while improving the quality of your everyday life. That is the true measure of any spiritual practice: Is daily life getting better? If so, the practice is good. If not, better make adjustments.  

A few more basic things from the AYP approach that can help:

1. Always rest after meditation (relax with eyes closed, doing nothing) -- 5-10 minutes at least, and more if you are sensitive. Lying down is good during rest time if convenient to do so. If sleep comes, that is fine. The rest period allows purification and opening cultivated during meditation to finish unwinding, rather than carrying it out into daily activity where it can lead to restlessness and irritability.

2. After rest and getting up, it is best to follow the meditation session with healthy activity -- physical or mental, which will help ground (integrate) inner silence and the associated energies in the nervous system.

3. Do not meditate (or do any other spiritual practices) near bed time. It is preferable to do afternoon practices before the evening meal, with healthy ordinary activity between dinner and bed time. This can reduce energy disturbances during the night. "Night practices" are discouraged in AYP. We all need our sleep. This is especially important for those who are sensitive to meditation and prone to disruption of sleep, as you have been.

There are additional things in the AYP lessons that can help with sensitivity and kundalini issues. You are probably already familiar with Lesson 69 on measures for kundalini excesses, but you may not yet have seen Lessons 365-367 on the range of sensitivities to meditation -- especially Lesson 367, which offers suggestions on optional approaches to meditation, including using a longer mantra (which slows down transcending to stillness), or using breath as object in meditation instead of mantra (which limits transcending to stillness). Either of these may or may not work, depending on the person. It is a process of discovery for each of us, finding a balance in practices that suits our nature.

You are not alone in this. Spiritual sensitivity is on the rise around the world, and many are having to deal with the rapid inner unfoldment that comes with it. If you check around the forums, you will find many such cases where self-pacing, grounding, and alternate approaches to practice are being explored and implemented. A lot of "real time" help is available here, where the experience-base is constantly growing and evolving with practitioners at all levels of experience contributing.

Others who have had similar issues are encouraged offer their comments in this topic also. Please do!

Wishing you all the best on your continuing path. It is going to be all right.

The guru is in you.

PS: If your insomnia persists, you may wish to utilize a mild sleep medication for a time (with a doctor's advice, if needed) to help get things back in balance. Some good sleep can go a long way toward clarifying our perspective on spiritual practices, and on life in general. No need to be obsessive in these things. As we have found, and often remind practitioners when purification is accelerating -- Less can be more in spiritual practices, and in life. Letting go is sometimes the best practice. Bhakti (spiritual desire) will always be there, and that alone assures our unfoldment in due course.

[NJL]

Hi ryodo63,

I'll take up Yogani's invitation to comment as well.

You're not alone in your sensitivity to practice. If your experience is anything like my own, I would suggest ceasing all practices until you feel more equilibrium. The Advanced Yoga Practices found here are very mild and gentle in comparison with many other spiritual practices. Even so, they can be too stimulating to the sensitive practitioner.

Depending on your level of sensitivity, you may find that you can start practices like spinal breathing and brief deep meditation within a few weeks, or it may be years before you are able to practice again.

It may be difficult to accept, but sometimes it's better to let nature run its course rather than pursuing your own agenda. One positive element to this situation is that you will probably make spiritual gains far more quickly than the average practitioner when the time is right for you to begin practices again.

[ryodo63]

Dear NJL,

thanks for your reply - it's good to know that others share similar experiences!
To tell you the truth, I have already stopped practicing altogether twice due to extreme psycho-physical reactions, one time for some months, a second time even for nearly two years, which was really hard to accept, especially since my main practice was zen meditation which is supposed to examine and solve the great question of life and death - and there I was stopping my practice for psychological reasons...
Anyway, this time I hope to find a smoother way by applying some of the modifications and suggestions presented  on the AYP pages. The concept of self-pacing and adjusting one's practices to one's current situation is really new for me and I am eager to experiment with it.
However, if need should be, I'm also prepared to pause again for some time - I'll come back for an update from time to time...
Wishing you well
Ryodo

[k123]

Hello ryodo

I too am extremely sensitive and suffer all kinds of overload symptoms. After a lot of experimenting, I have come to a place where I can do three to five rounds of spinal breathing, with an absolute maximum of five mins DM. I pace myself very strictly and often have to miss a session or just sit quietly. Often even having a straight back will cause overload, so I sometimes just relax.

This has improved over time, when I first came to AYP it was because I could not do any meditation at all without bad overload.  For me the most important things are good rest after sitting. I often practice for 7 mins and rest for 15 to 20 mins. I make sure my awareness is in my body, as the energy seems to have a tendency to fly upwards. This helps most, but I did not take much notice of the advice to rest at the beginning and suffered as a consequence.

Another thing that really helps, but which I don't do unless I am getting bad overload symptoms, is Tai Chi.  Also the kind of mindfulness of the body that focuses on physical sensation rather than breath helps.

As I said, things have got a lot better over time, but sensitivity can also fluctuate.  

For me it has been a case of severe self pacing and finding that place where I know that overload starts and keeping on the right side of it. I had this problem for years, but before AYP, did not come across others who had the same issues. There is a lot of help and experience here and I am sure others will answer too.

[ryodo63]

Dear k123,

thank you for sharing - it's really comforting to see that there are many others facing similar problems, something I didn't know either until I came across AYP. So far I always thought I did something wrong or wasn't built for practicing properly. Already I feel a lot of relief from finding myself in company.
Also, I am really surprised to find that even five minutes more (or too much) of DM can make such a huge difference - it really is a powerful tool. And, yes, I'm only beginning to realize the importance of rest after sitting, which I haven't done before.
But most of all, it's good to know that self pacing is possible and also a method you can practice and get better at...
So, again, thank you for your kind answer - and a big thank you to yogani for creating this site!

[k123]

That's really good and welcome to the site, you will find a huge amount of support and experience here. It is a great site, and, as you say, DM is incredibly powerful. I get great results with under 5 mins a time