Hi,
Back in January, when I was doing a form of self-inquiry, seeking the "I AM", I came upon this golden ball of light.
This is what I wrote about it:
quote:
The circle of self attention, directed inwards towards the source of awareness, compressed (or revealed itself) and I found myself staring at a golden ball with various colors of light hanging around it's outside. When I asked the question "who is seeing this ball of fluidic light" I found myself inside the golden ball of light and could no longer see it. It felt very blissful, quiet and peaceful. Then, when I asked "who is feeling this bliss, quiet and peace?" I was ejected from that state and I realized that the mind was surrounding it with thoughts, and that my small mind had posed the question. I could see a meshing of white light filaments that I knew were thoughts. I came to the conclusion that thoughts can create other thoughts and that thoughts can grasp onto other thoughts. But inside the golden ball of light it was different. The thoughts were out there and "I" was in here.
Then I remembered, "Abide as the self". So I went back into the ball of golden luminous light and tried to stay there. It felt so wonderful, quiet, blissful, peaceful.. Then I came out, went back in, came out and kept this up for a bit. When I was out I could see the golden ball, the feeling was mildy ecstatic and I could sense the inner body. There were very fine tingles/vibrations spreading downwards towards my heart and it caused very ecstatic vibrations in the heart. Then the feeling continued down to the root.. all three centres were becoming alive with ecstatic vibrations. Then I felt a nice warmth emanate from top of the neck/base of the brain and go down the spine (or sushumna..?) I was surprised that there were ecstatic energy flows occurring.. uh, well maybe not now. I just remembered about melting the white drops causing them to drip down the sushumna (Tibetan Tummo practices..) causing ecstatic flows..
I now see that Christi correctly identified the golden ball of light as the causal body. Or at least, Christi and Saraswati are saying the same thing. Not that Saraswati is the final authority on such matters, but it is nice to find a confirmation from a spiritual source.
At the recommendation of Jamie Radha, I bought Saraswati's book called "Kundalini Tantra" and have been reading it.
Today, I came upon this next quote in that book.
quote:
No. 20: Dhyana (meditation)
You have realized your astral body as a single point of light. Now look closer at that
point of light and you will see it take the form of a golden egg. As you watch this golden
egg, it will begin to expand. The golden egg is luminous and glowing intensely; however,
it does not give off any rays of light. As the golden egg becomes larger, it will begin to
take on the same shape as that of your astral and physical bodies. This form, however, is
not a material or even a subtle form. This form is glowing light. It is your causal self.
!!
In that book, that step is the last of 20 steps or kriyas that one learns in order to bring kundalini up and finally realize the self.
It is kind of funny. Step 16 is "infusing the divine prana". In that step you take the divine white light down the spine:
quote:
No. 16: Prana ahuti (infusing the divine prana)
Sit in siddhasana, siddha yoni asana or padmasana. Close your eyes and breathe
normally. Feel the soft touch of a divine hand lying on your head. The hand is infusing
subtle prana into your body and mind and the prana is travelling down from sahasrara
through the spinal passage. You may experience it as a wave of cold, heat, energy,
electric current, or as a stream of wind or liquid. Its passage will result in vibrations,
shocks, jerks or tickling sensations which course through you. When the prana has
reached mooladhara, then immediately go on to the next kriya without waiting to
experience the prana a second time.
In Step 17, you raise kundalini up to the head. Kundalini looks like a big thick reptile of a snake with green scales.
This procedure the book says is slightly different from the kundalini meditations that I did, though.. In Step 18, you sit still and your body becomes still like a rock.
In step 19, you notice your astral body breathing. After that, you realize the causal body (golden ball of light) as in step 20.
The reason it is so funny is because I raised kundalini twice by doing this kundalini meditation that I found on the crystal links web site. I brought the white light down to the root and the snake up to the head. I have also had many meditations where I've watched something breathing, I thought it was the etheric body contracting and expanding. I did notice it but never paid that much attention to it. I've had experiences where my body felt like a rock, and that I was floating apart from it. And now, after reading about the causal body that I perceived through meditating on focusing on the watcher, I now realize that I've done all of the last steps in the Kriya lessons, only not in that order.
This is what the book says:
quote:
The practices are divided into three groups: those which induce pratyahara, those
which induce dharana, and those which induce dhyana. It should be noted that these three
states are actually a continuity of evolution, that is, the consciousness flows from one to
the next without any apparent dividing point - so these practices should be done in an
unbroken sequence. Of course, from the first day, the practice of these kriyas will not
necessarily lead to such exalted states of awareness, but if they are practised properly
with correct guidance, by an aspirant who is ready for them, then most likely, one day
they will. It will be at that stage that the constant, unbroken progression of awareness will
become essential. Remember, you should learn one kriya per week.
Now I know that you don't have to do them in that order in order to realize the causal body and go inside. However, it might help, especially if you have no road map, but I think it doesn't matter, because I did not follow those steps (steps 1 to 20). In the book you are supposed to spend a week on each kriya (or practice), so it might take you 20 weeks to realize the causal body, if you are gifted or very advanced, if you can learn the lessons and do them properly first off. More likely it would take months or years of practice, and there may be a dependency on actually raising the kundalini.
Because of my experience with the golden ball of light, I would say that you just have to sit and do a meditation of focusing totally on the watcher. This was my intent for those meditations that I was doing: "If you can see or hear something, that is not it. If you can see or hear something (even a thought), turn your attention 180 degrees around and keep pushing your attention towards the watcher."
You will find it. You will see the golden ball of light. And, if you treat the golden ball like another object, and keep reversing your attention back to the watcher, you end up inside the golden ball of light. That is what I did. To me, that is true self inquiry. That is what Ramana and Nisargadatta are saying. "Who am I?" Focus on the "I AM". etc.. !!
It is so nice to actually read about this experience from another source (Saraswati's book). It confirms that the method of turning attention back on the watcher is correct and actually works.
Now I know what I'm going to be doing next!! Back to the golden ball of light!
You see, I hadn't realized what I had stumbled across. I had since abandoned that form of meditation because I did not place that much importance on the experience. But now I think I should spend more time inside the golden ball and see what that develops into.
And now, you know too.
TI
P.S.
I'm kind of embarassed a bit, because this post does sound somewhat egotistical. Perhaps I am further along than I thought! Yay for me!!
To me, what I have recounted and realized only fortifies the importance of knowing the scenery that you will run into on your spiritual journey and using that scenery as a guiding light.
You know, according to Huna philosophy, the importance of experiences and scenery is that it convinces the lower self that something is actually going on. In Huna philosophy, there are three selves, the lower self, the middle self and the higher self. The middle self (normal consciousness) must communicate to the higher self through the lower self. In other words, you have to convince the lower self before the higher self will listen and respond. That is what experiences are for. Experiences aren't just scenery at that level.
