Where am I at now?

[Tibetan_Ice]

Hi

  I am writing this so that I have a clear record of what just happened.

  I first started the AYP practices back in November. My routine involved deep silence "i am" meditation twice a day. Gradually, I added spinal breathing and samyama. My meditations produced a lot of visions culminating to the point where a large dark cavern fill with water appeared. During the mantra repitition, in an effort to whisper the mantra and become quieter and quieter, I took the mantra to a part of the mind where I could see the words as I mentally chanted them. I had interesting experiences with the visions, and at one point I punched a whole into the back of my head where there appeared this huge black void. I had some fun with that (wrote about it in another post). I have also done numerous other practices such as Usui Reiki channeling, Kunlun, crystal meditation, divine energy channeling and some other things..

  About three weeks ago, during deep meditation with shambhavi I noticed a connection between my third eye and my genitals. This distracted me quite a bit and was turning my meditation into a sensory extravaganza. I felt that sex has no place in deep silence meditation; I felt that it probably comes into play more so in the spinal breathing/root lock section.  So, I decided to quit the shambhavi and go back to deep silence meditation. Part of my reasoning was that several time I have read that the first step is deep silence and that once this is firmly established, then you start adding other things.

  So, I started over. Breath of Fire (bellows breath, bhastrika) for 2 minutes, spinal breathing with root locks and tongue on palate for 5 minutes and then simple deep silence meditation: "i am".. "i am". I would focus the eyes a bit upward but I stayed away from that region upwards about an inch behind my brow because that's where the genital sensations reside. My forehead would get numb and I would feel a pressure as usual, but that was it. I spent the last ~three weeks doing that practice twice a day for 30 minutes.

  As I progressed again through the meditation, I would experience periods of silence throughout the day. I would 'catch' my self just staring blankly, thinking of nothing in particular. Throughout the days of the return to simple deep silence meditation, again, towards the end of each session I would find myself in a large dark cave with what seemed like an endless pool of calm water in it.

  Last night I started reading "Ennio Nimis's" Kriya Yoga book. I was particularily interested in this part, where he mentions the little peaceful pond in his instructions for silence meditation:

quote:
A few minutes later, the awareness is all gathered in the eyebrows region, as if inside a "little, peaceful pond"...]

The realization came upon my that perhaps my large dark cave with water on the bottom was the "little, peaceful pond" and that perhaps I had achieved sufficient deep silence to start adding other yoga techniques once again.

Today, still unsure about whether or not I had attained sufficient deep silence, I drove out to my favorite secluded hill top and performed the Breath of Fire, spinal breathing and then standard deep silence meditation. This took me 30 minutes. Nothing eventful happened. I drove home quietly, silently and very relaxed. On my way home I wondered about the 'genital connection' in my third eye...

When I got home, I decided to go back to the point where I was at three weeks ago and give it a go again. It wasn't meditation, but I felt I had enough inner silence and I felt confident that I hadn't missed a step and that I wasn't going too fast..

I set my alarm for 1/2 hour and sat in easy posture on my sheep skin rug in my dark room. I did 4 very short root locks, put my tongue on the uvula and did the neck lock, rolled my eyes up and started to focus 1 inch behind my the brow, where that area which produces the sensations is. With not too much effort I hit it. My genitals once again felt like there was a field of magnetic waves encasing them accompanied with some pleasureable sensations.

 My mind would wander a bit; I made a mental notation that I wasn't going to do any mantra repitition. Just focussing on that spot in my head. It took a while to get a constant beam of attention on that spot. The sensations were very distracting.

  The spot behind my brows appeared to me before as a kind of misty area that resembled waves of heat rising off hot pavement much like a mirage. Or maybe a little cloud of moving mist. It was more like a feeling. As I focused on it, gradually, the mist dissovled and I could see this black flame thingy which kind of resembles a small vagina of sorts. [at this point I lost my concentration and noticed that I had a lot of heat in my buttocks and lower spine].

  It took me a little while to ascertain that the black flame (with a touch of red at the bottom) and the spot behind my brow were in fact the same spot. I tried to find the old familiar spot again but instead, there was the black flame thingy there. Fine. I focused on the black flame.

  At this point I noticed that the heat had risen in my spine to my heart level. I focused on the black flame and kept my concentration on it. Again, there were pleasurable sensations rising from my genital region. The path they were taking seemed to be up my abdomen. I kept focussing. I heard many bells in my right ear. The heat kept rising into my neck.

  At that point my alarm went off (1/2 hr). I was very excited emotionally and had a debate as to whether or not I should stop and assess what I was doing. I decided to relax and keep going.

  I wondered what I could do with the black flame. I focused on the black flame again and took a slow deep breath like I do when spinal breathing. The white misty stuff that follows my attention when I spinal breathe followed my attention and went into the black flame. WOW!!! I was enveloped with waves of tingles throughout my whole body. The connection was drawing the tingles back into my body. My body dissolved. I was a cloud of tingles, pleasurable sensations; I was moaning at this point. I never wanted to leave this state! I had found the cosmic vagina, the source of unlimited tingles!

  At this point the heat had risen to my head. There was a column of heat from the base of my spine to my face. Noticing this brought me back for a bit. Nah, not a big deal. I can deal with heat. I took another slow breath and pushed my misty attention into the black flame again. Again, big rush of waves of tingles. WOW!! By now the front channel on my body was pulsating, my mind experienced an overload of thoughts and scenery. It was like watching 3000 television shows all at the same time and hearing 100 voices talking simultaneously. I ignored the visions and thoughts, I mean, it was so wonderful to float in this cloud of bliss. Bliss. I wonder if this is the rise of ecstatic bliss that Yogani talks about. Not just a taste but a connection to constant bliss. WOW!

  I kept the connection to the black flame going for a while. The heat was feeling very nice. I felt like the miner who had discovered the mother load. I noticed that the bottoms of my feet were tingly. I noticed that I was engulfed in waves of tingles. When I quit focusing on the black flame, after a while the tingles would subside, but not much. Then I'd focus again on the black flame, push my misty sushumna stick out into it and I'd get more waves of tingles. I did this many times just to convince myself that this connection in fact did exist. It does!

  At that point I decided to shut it down. That whole session had lasted 63 minutes. I got up and rested on the bed for 10 minutes.  While I was resting, I did a few checks to see if the connection was still there. I would focus on the black flame, get a rush and then quit. I put my hands over my lower tan tien and grounded for a while. I got up and walked around. My whole body felt like a charge of electrical current. I noticed that I was sweating on my spine from the middle of my back upwards. The balls of my feet felt like there was electrical current shooting out from them. I went and had a few cigarettes to contemplate what had just happened.

  I decided that I should eat something to help ground me. I cooked some food and ate, all the while feeling like I was a cloud of tingles. The waves are quite intense.

  As I sit here now, writing this recount, there is quite a bit of heat up my spine, over my head, through my face, and down into my chest. My hands, arms and legs feel sort of like raw nerves from the tingling. I have a somewhat constant flow of something starting from the back of my heart going upwards. I am starting to get a little depressed and I think I may have too much pressure in my head.

  I think I'll go for a walk and enjoy the snow and contemplate this new found discovery.. ground for a while.. smile

TI

 

 

[tadeas]

Hi, it's cool to play with energy but for me this would be overdoing it - e.g. raw nerves tingling, electricity in the hands and feet - typical stuff. I mean overdoing it from the point of view of long-term, consistent progress. Everytime you do experiments like this you're in the risk of overload, which means that sooner or later you'll be forced to cut back on your practice, which in turn makes for a longer journey That's how I see it and it's up to everyone to weigh the pros and cons.

Just don't forget to always come back to regular, steady practice with self-pacing, which is what makes the difference. The root-brow connection will stay, no worries, and it's nothing compared to the peace inside, yes?

Enjoy, but not to the point of over-indulgement

[LittleTurtle]

Thanks for posting your experiences Tibetan_Ice. I too hope you don't over do it. Take care.

[scottfitzgerald]

Jim and his Karma wrote to me after I had posted about a similar experience.  He welcomed me to spiritual puberty.  I was a bit miffed at the time, I sure didn't want anyone pouring a bucket of "Whoa Nellie" on my spiritual fire.  Glad he did.

It sounds like we may both "attack" the practice from time to time, and enter meditation aggressively, perhaps with expectations set and goals to attain--if nothing, to see how high we can take the peak experience.  To a degree, I think it is a very important part of our journey. We should always do what we can to easily favor the practice, however there are instances where we need to push in order to settle in to what we have, and climb to a higher frequency.   If we don't flex hard at times, we don't get the spiritual lactic acid backlash that does two things:  reminds us to self-pace and gives us a chance to easily come back to the practice...part of which is self pacing.

No doubt you felt the cosmic engine getting revved up, and it sure sounds and smells and looks and vibrates like a Bliss Banging Harley--the wind roaring Infinite Silence...now hang on.

I was warned not to ride to fast.  I got away with a few energizing energy events, and am thankful.  I can see how it could get out of hand very easily--nice little trick of the fading ego,

EGO:
The rain stopped.  The roads aren't that slick.  See what you can really do this time.

SFX:  Sirens.  The SPIRITUAL EMT enters grim faced.

SPIRITUAL EMT
Damn.  He blissed himself into a tree at 87 miles per hour.


EGO bends down to get a better look at the glowing body with the smiling face and attentive lingam.

EGO:
He went out happy.


You made a breakthrough and much of what you have been reading about is happening to you.  Congratulations. TI this could be a very pleasant affirmation that AYP does what Yogani says it will.  The lessons are all there for a reason, and if any message comes through to you it's joy at your joy.  Be careful.  It's a real double edged sword realizing the next steps entail getting past and through all you have experienced--the cool part is it gets even better.

Take it easy and think about saving some for later.

Big love-

Scott

[Jim and His Karma]

quote:Originally posted by Tibetan_Ice
  About three weeks ago, during deep meditation with shambhavi I noticed a connection between my third eye and my genitals.

The connection is actually between third eye and root. The latter is close enough to genitals that you can be confused, especially if you're conditioned into associating sexual energy with genitals.

I'm usually pretty anti-concept in all this, but I just intuitively feel that maybe it would help you to make this slight conceptual adjustment in how you're viewing this stuff. In terms of yoga, your genitals are not a very intrinsic part of what's going on, at all.  There's no cockchakra!

[Tibetan_Ice]

quote:Originally posted by scottfitzgerald
No doubt you felt the cosmic engine getting revved up, and it sure sounds and smells and looks and vibrates like a Bliss Banging Harley--the wind roaring Infinite Silence...now hang on.
Damn.  He blissed himself into a tree at 87 miles per hour.

 Hi Scott
   Did I ever tell you about the time I hit a sparrow at 90 mph? The wings were stuck in the clutch lever. The head hit my visor. When I stopped to assess the damage, the heart was on my gas tank still beating!

  I think you are giving good advice and I am cautious. When I did my practice that evening, I was a little scared. I didn't want to push anything. So I didn't focus on the black flame much (maybe a few seconds here and there to affirm it's existence and reaction). After carefully testing, the fear went away but generally I stayed away and stuck to the normal routine.

quote:    
EGO bends down to get a better look at the glowing body with the smiling face and attentive lingam.

  The part though that is a little strange to me is that my lingam was not erect. ?? It is more like a draw from the testicles [perenium] mixed in with the sacral chakra, the lower tan tien and the solar plexus chakra following the frontal vagus nerve route upwards. That was what is sort of surprising about the heat rising up the spine.. It was almost as if the water path melted some drops that fed the fire path up the spine.  

quote:
Take it easy and think about saving some for later.

  I found your post called "Pushing through the fear" and I read Jim's caution which says "And there can be time lags of a few days before symptoms appear."  Hmmm. Yogani also warns about this effect. I've noticed it too a few days later after going for gusto with bhastrika when I first started practicing.

  I'm fine today. I did two standard practices with meditations and I noticed that it is a bit harder to find the black flame, but it is still there. And yes, there is a certain amount of trepidation that is evident now right before practice. There is also awe and intrigue which sort of interferes a bit with the meditation. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

  Thanks again for your comments.

TI

[Tibetan_Ice]

quote:Originally posted by Jim and His Karma
 There's no cockchakra!

Hi Jim
  Are you sure? I found this

quote:
The chakra beneath the Sea of Chi Centre is the Genital or Pubic Centre. This chakra is refrerred to by Barbara Brennan as the Pubic Centre, and in Taoism is called the Sperm or Ovarian Palace (Jing Gong/Zhongji) in Taoism.

It is located in men at the base of the penis, and in women above the pubic bone, approximately one palm's width below the navel [Chia, p.187]. It supports the genitals and the sex-drive. The sexual organs themselves also possess their own minor chakras which are responsible for sexual functioning and the sex and reproductive instincts, but these chakras connect to the rest of the energy system of the organism through the Pubic Chakra in the front, and the Sacral Chakra to the rear

Here is the link: http://www.kheper.net/topics/chakras/Pubic.htm


TI

[selfonlypath]

Hello Jim,

Using under the hood tibetan tantric description, what TI says is correct.

Please see this book on page 19-20 then chapter "Inner Fire" then next chapter:
http://books.google.com/books?id=OixlLsoIBXEC&printsec=frontcover&dq=%22clear+light+of+bliss%22&client=safari&hl=fr&sig=2Uz7gAewh-cz8vgDVCBJEs4CdwM

Albert

[Jim and His Karma]

But there's a difference between "the area at the base of the penis" and the penis. The penis is a flap of skin hanging off the body...an optional release valve for downward-oriented energy.

[selfonlypath]

But Jim, I don't understand what you mean because page 19 clearly talks about: tip of sexual organ (2), centre of sexual organ (8) and base of sexual organ (7) used later to perform tummo then even more advanced techniques.

Another very precise description of the 3 sexual chakras can be found on page 108 of the fantastic book "The Bliss of Inner Fire" written by Lama Yeshe. There are the secret chakra, middle secret chakra and  tip secret chakra, the latter precisely at the tip of the penis. This book also provides the position of these three sexual chakras for a woman inside her vagina which is not provided in the first book.

After all, the white drop (eventually becomes semen) at the tip of the penis to then go into vagina to meet the red drop (becoming eventually an ovule) to make a human being. So a penis is not just a piece of skin or valve, it has very deep esoteric wirings.

Albert

[Jim and His Karma]

I said "in terms of yoga". I didn't say "in terms of any possible piece of esoteric writing you can find"![]

I do apologize for my casual dismissal of the penis. If there are traditions that deem it a useful part of spiritual journey, that's fine by me.

But getting back to yoga in general, and AYP in particular, the big important connection is ajna to mulha: brow to root. Practitioners interpreting the base of that connection to be in the genitals should know they'll likely soon come to see that that's not quite really it. No need to force or conceptualize anything. It's just a good thing to bear in mind.

[scottfitzgerald]

I found the penis to be an item of discussion only in the early days of AYP--with a bit of refinement that part gets sort of left out of the equation.  Not that I mind at this point.

In truth--Willy's not the root.  I can understand for some men that may be a hard truth to come by. The path is of transcendance, and that includes going beyond our lingam.  The energy that resided there (or we gave to it) is much better focused on the practices.

[Jim and His Karma]

Yeah.

At first, everything "down there" feels like genitals...because, let's face it, those are the star players and focus of concentration for the vast majority of people (how many have even heard of a "perineum"?) By the time you start getting more precise and fine-tuned body sense, and, especially, energetic body sense, the genitals don't seem to play that much part.

At least in the yoga tradition.....

[selfonlypath]

Yes Jim, i totally agree.

Just have in mind that tibetan consider 10 doors or gates to dissolve the winds into central channel.

They always recommend to practice first through navel gate (tummo aka inner fire yoga) and then, depending on what you want to practice, you can train on using other doors. For example, throat chakra door is very good to have powerful lucid dreams hence practicing dream yoga. Tip of penis door is best to have a long night of sleep hence very useful to practice deep sleep yoga (much more difficult than dream yoga). Heart chakra door is to practice clear light awareness linked to go consciously into death zone.

As a reminder, they never recommend using crown chakra door at the beginning which is the same recommendation provided by AYP system to avoid deep imbalance. Only when tummo is mastered (amp up red drops aka Shakti or Earth connection), then you can eventually practice crown chakra door (amp up white drops aka Shiva or Sky connection).

Albert

[Tibetan_Ice]

quote:Originally posted by Jim and His Karma

Yeah.

At first, everything "down there" feels like genitals...because, let's face it, those are the star players and focus of concentration for the vast majority of people (how many have even heard of a "perineum"?) By the time you start getting more precise and fine-tuned body sense, and, especially, energetic body sense, the genitals don't seem to play that much part.

At least in the yoga tradition.....

Hi Jim
  I think we are probably saying the same thing. I found this:
"Through the practice of Kriya, we can have an experience of the Chakras.
Starting from Muladhar, the root Chakra, located over the anus at the very base of the spinal column, in the lower part of the coccyx, we encounter a centre which distributes energy to the legs, to the lowest part of the pelvis, irradiating especially the Gonads (testes in men, ovaries in women). "

Here is the link: http://www.kriyayogainfo.net/glossary.html

So, Ennio is saying that the root chakra is connected to the gonads which might explain the flacid lingam yet the wave field of magnetic energy circulating around the 'genitals'.  Perhaps my reference to 'genitals' could have been more exact but the magnetic field which I felt seemed to encompass the whole outer stucture..


TI