Near Total Breakdown

[parvati9]

Anima

Well done.  Sounds like you're maintaining command of the situation, maximizing your options, and staying grounded.  This is all good.  What is also needed is to be pragmatic.  Assess your skills and abilities as well as experience.  Most everything in the real world is based, either directly or indirectly, upon qualifications.  Depending on the reason, being fired is perhaps better (than quitting) in terms of qualifying for unemployment.  If serious about becoming a monk or priest, you'll need to find out about requisite qualifications at whatever facility or organization you seek to join.  You would probably be an excellent teacher as you express yourself superbly.  But the bottom line will be:  Do you have experience as a teacher?  Would you be willing to accept position of substitute teacher or teacher's aide?  If applicable, can you begin the requisite certification process?  All these considerations are necessary in order to actualize our goals and dreams in the real world.   Wishing you the best of the best,

love
parvati

[Anima]

Hi Parvati,

I will be happy to share my resume and discuss practical details about teaching over e-mail. There should be a link on my profile to contact me. Actually, it would be refreshing to talk outside of the forums.

I inquired with the Vedanta Society of Southern California, which is under the organizational leadership of the Ramakrishna Math in India. While I met most qualifications, I am not debt-free, due to student loans. By the time I might pay them off, I will be too old to join the order as a postulant (over 35).

I've also inquired with a Buddhist monastery in California about requirements and duties, and also what it's like. They have invited me to a retreat and to spend a couple weeks there. However, I have not been able to get more definite information.

There is a Zen organization here in my town that is very vibrant and offers a seminary at a reasonable cost. Their requirements are laid out in extraordinary detail. However, I tend to get the feeling that Zen is very ritualistic and rigid in its dogma and practice, which I find very restrictive (I went for a Sunday afternoon meditation group and skimmed a book on Japanese Zen). Maybe I should inquire anyway? I read their founder's poems and really felt a connection.

I networked with some Hare Krishnas about six months ago and will just say I'm not interested.

There is also the Chinmaya Mission, with which I have some unofficial affiliation. However, I find the local leadership to be mostly uninterested in engaging with me. Of course, I have not been overly interested, either. Still, I have met a couple Swamis who have come through, and we have offered them bhiksha (I also offered a poem to one, and he was very beautiful), and I could send some formal inquiries and just see what happens.

It doesn't have to happen right away. I will trust in Krishna. If my trust falters, I will rest in Krishna. If I cannot find rest, He will provide it later. There will be some big surprises in store for me. It may not work out at all. But I will try.

Most people have rejected my sentiment and experience while praising my articulation and intelligence throughout my life. That's okay, because I just accept rejection now. So, now what? Will I keep wrestling with compromise and critics, or move toward being centered and at peace? Who knows my dreams better than I?

Peace and love    

[parvati9]

Two week retreat with the Buddhist monastery in Calif sounds like a great opportunity to find out if monastic life suits you.  That would be the first step in gaining entrance into a monastic order, wouldn't it?  So you may want to persist in your attempts at obtaining more definite information.  One question I would want answered is:  Do you have openings at this time for novice/ new monks?  Good luck in all your endeavors Anima.

love
parvati

[Anima]

Thank you, my friend...

I'm pretty excited. I called my old professor, who is now a Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences at a local university. I drove over and sat down with her to catch up. She is a beautiful woman, and I always wanted to hug her when I was in undergrad (never did, alas). Anyway, we had a wonderful talk about my returning to university teaching, and very open about other things as well, like how my whole philosophy has changed. I told her about my spiritual interests and thinking of serving as clergy. I suggested that there may be some middle way between academic and religious pursuits. She said there is a real opportunity for someone with my background, especially with my interest in and knowledge of non-Western thinking (and practice)! We were so on the same energetic and exploratory wavelength.

So, lots of work to see if I can secure a teaching spot for right now. I do still desire to orient teaching into a spiritual role, hopefully serving as clergy, and will be busy working on actualizing likely possibilities. Gonna try to lay off the forums for a while.

Thanks for your sound ideas, feedback, support, and for listening, friends

[jonesboy]

Much love my friend

[BlueRaincoat]

Sounds like a wonderful opportunity, this opening at the university.
Best of luck!

[Radharani]

quote:Originally posted by maheswari

I second Ayiram comments too

Me, too!

I have not been on this forum in ages and just now found this thread.  I'm glad we have been able to stay connected on FB.  I want to echo what everybody else has said, above, that YOU ARE LOVED and we are all in this together!  I can really relate to what you said:  

It doesn't have to happen right away. I will trust in Krishna. If my trust falters, I will rest in Krishna. If I cannot find rest, He will provide it later. There will be some big surprises in store for me. It may not work out at all. But I will try.

yep.  exactly.  what else is there, really?  

I'm very happy that you were fired from the unpleasant and uninspiring job (it's quite freeing, isn't it?! ) and are now exploring your vocation as a minister/teacher.  Please keep us posted as your fascinating journey continues!