quote:
Originally posted by parvati9
Hi Anima
An update please ...
Has anything significant happened in the last few days ... since your original post?
What Dogboy said - This may not be a breakdown but a breakthrough. Totally agree. Don't stop singing; you can sing your way through this. And if you don't want to sing, then speak or write or dance it out. But do let it out, don't keep it inside. Sometimes the greatest turmoil is the path to the greatest peace. We often have to completely empty ourselves of what we previously thought was ourselves - in order to let peace happen. To us, in us, through us. Emptiness is the empty container capable of holding or knowing peace. Which is our true nature. And which is best realized when we are completely open (or surrendered) to it. May peace be with your sweet soul.
Dark times are times for character development. They are difficult and yucky and we would prefer them to pass quickly. However, one can learn to cherish them. Not necessarily while they're happening, but afterward. I simply don't want to easily forget (which is the tendency) the lessons so painfully learned. You are not alone. We are with you. Take us with you in this difficult journey. And know that it will pass. And you will come through the other side with greater love than you had before. That (greater love) is what makes it all worthwhile.
love ![[3]](http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/Smileys/akyhne/heart.gif "Heart")
parvati
Namaste
Hello again, Parvati. Yes, a lot is happening. Thank you for asking.
In fact, I was fired on Thursday morning. After some very rough emotional turbulence, I am feeling quite at ease. I've been busily job hunting for teaching positions and applying for unemployment. I've had an opportunity to revise my resume, post an online writing portfolio, and work more closely with my career adviser from my undergraduate university. I saw her twice before getting fired, and each time I told her I am interested in being a monk, priest, or religious educator. She has been very supportive, insightful, and helpful.
I went to a government service office today to register my resume and speak with a caseworker. He worked as a client advocate in unemployment for the state for over 27 years before taking on his current role. We sat down at his desk. He looked over my form briefly, but then without looking up, he asked me in a monotone voice belying a dry humor: “Okay.... Have I lost my ability to read correctly?” He turned the page to me and pointed at the “Preferred Job Titles” section. “Does that say ‘monk?’” “Yes,” I told him. He looked me in the eye and asked, “You want to be a monk?” I returned his gaze and nodded calmly. The other two titles were priest and teacher. We had a very open and animated chat about work and society. I was a little surprised to discover how good-natured and playful he was.
Parvati, you are right when you sense a desire for peace. It is redefining everything for me. I am letting it happen. I’m not sure that I ever had a choice
I will continue to pursue possibilities in serving as clergy and in religious education, charity, and service.
Relationships have been opening at the temple. I am opening, too, and beginning to speak on philosophy and engage more actively in volunteering. I’ve been confiding in a friend, a retired gentleman who has taken a renewed interest in yoga and meditation in the last few months. He said that he has been experiencing transformation after 30 years of inconsistent practice. He started a meditation group (breath meditation, 5 minutes), in which we discuss meditation and yoga. Many paths converge in the group. It’s odd. A lot of people there are beginning to show a strong affection toward me, even after brief discussions.
My friends there tell me not to worry and that I’m in the right place. My friend introduced me to the temple president, who has graciously accepted my resume and cover letter, with links to my writing portfolio (I have anonymously offered some of the poems to the temple donation box), and also introduced me to another temple official and businessman. Things will work out.
And to everyone who has offered their love and support here, thank you so much.
Love and life abundant
