Everyone has their own path.
During adolescence I was very unhappy, and just took to hedonism (drugs etc) as my only real purpose. After a total nervous breakdown at 18/19 years old, a few self-development books found their way to me.
The message was pretty simple: Think about how you'd really like your life to be, and plan out what actions you'll take to make that dream into reality. Focus on what you want, rather than what you don't want. Think positively and constructively instead of pulling things down. Become an objective observer of your own thoughts, emotions and beliefs and inquire into them.
I think perhaps due to my extremely vulnerable state, I was completely broken open, the message sank in very deep and made strong roots in me. It was the first time in my life I’d really heard a coherent message from anyone about how to find a productive, useful, positive and happy way to be.
The one word that resonates with me, as perhaps the central desire in my life is "Freedom". I’ve always hated bonds, restrictions, rules…
So along with the other types of freedom I sought (awakening, inner freedom from suffering, self-transformation and freedom from the person I used to be), a very grounded sort of Financial Freedom was always very important to me. It always struck me that most people’s primary expenditure is rent or mortgage payments, and both tie you into wage slavery – i.e. having to work whether you feel like it or not.
And it also appeared to me that the second enemy of freedom is having to trade your time for money. I always wanted to instead gain money to invest, into real estate, loans and so on – until my primary source of income would be passive income, that required no trading of my time, excepting perhaps a little administrative work now and then.
I must say, all of this came out of a very strong hatred of having to live my life by pre-set schedules. From when I was young as I can remember, I hated school, because I hated spending every day in the boring confines of a schedule which had been set for me, without my input. Then moving into adult work life seemed even worse, the schedule just becomes more unpleasant, and more demanding.
I know some people say “Find your passion” – but my passion is watching the rain on rainy days, perhaps even sitting out and letting it get me soaked through, lying on the grass in summer, reading books all day, swimming in the ocean… Just being. Unfortunately generally nobody will pay you and give you stuff to eat for “Just Being”. Many times I’ve desired to simply let everything go and be homeless or live in the woods, but I think the hardship that would accompany that would not be very pleasant.
Instead I worked very hard. I got into a ‘sales’ oriented career. And I found that non-attachment worked in my favor: instead of wanting to manipulate everyone into doing what would make me the maximum profit, I trusted the universe would produce the right outcome in every situation, whether or not it was the most profitable one for “me”: so whilst I had a burning desire for success which drove me to make a good effort, I was able to let go of fear-based attachments to needing certain things to happen. And this led to people trusting me – “this guy really doesn’t care if he sells me anything, he’s not trying to force an outcome on me”. It gives you self-respect, instead of being a “sales person”, you’re just someone who has helpful advice and services. The right people, who were more powerful and successful than me, seemed to vibe with me – because I just met them as equals and didn’t want anything from them, or feel that I had to pander to them. I was ready to tell them when I thought they were wrong about something. I didn’t go to college, but I found my way into a relatively high-powered career in “hedge fund consulting” – so the clients I’m selling my services to are financial corporations run often by billionaires or at least multi-multi-millionaires.
I’m a long way to achieving the freedom I wanted. I just bought a nice, but modest, apartment and I’ve got enough money to pay the mortgage off in one year. The deals I do pay out annuities for 5 years, so I could stop working now and still get paid well for the next 4 or 5 years, or continue working and build a more and more abundant pipeline. I work totally according to my own schedule, often doing only 3 or 4 full days of work in a week. I don’t have to deal or interact with anyone, client or colleague, who I don’t respect, like and trust.
That freedom gives me the space to think clearly, and a lot of time for living a quiet, contemplative life when I’m not working. And at the same time as having a quiet, peaceful, contemplative life, there’s always money available when needed. I have more free time which I can use for volunteering and helping others. However, for whatever reason, the deepest call I feel within in me is just to enjoy the presence of being, to live joyously and happily, and in my own way. Truthfully, I have no desire to dramatically change the world, except to perhaps just help uplift things in my own little way, and marvel at the wonderful illusion of it all.
