need more advices on tantric practices

[Alvin Chan]

Hi all,

I am trying out the hold back method. But failed for a few times. I worry that I am draining myself. Here are a few questions:

1. Is there any guide to know the appropriate frequency of orgasm? I know everyone is different, but are there some way to know whether I am have orgasm too frequently?

Sometimes I thinking about sex for a week or two, while sometimes I have non-tantric sex for more than 2 times a week. It seems to be difficult to make it as routine as sitting practices. Is it ok just to follow what my mind calls me?

2. How would orgasm affect meditation and other sitting practices? Am I going backward if I have non-tantric sex? Or will orgasm only affect the more advanced practioner?

3. I know it's not advisable to meditation right after sex. How long, at least, should I wait? And what's bad if I don't wait long enough?

4. Do I need to adjust my siddhasana/mulabandha (or other) practices after tantric or non-tantric sex(with ejaculation) respectively? A rather experienced Indian yoga teacher told me that nauli (which I'm learning) should not be done the day after you have sex. What do you think about this advice?

Any sharing would be welcomed!

Alvin

[yogani99]

Hi Alvin:

A commitment today keeps me from answering in detail right now, but here is a dialog on tantra practice that covers at least part of your inquiry: http://www.aypsite.com/plus/T46.html

Perhaps others can fill in.

The guru is in you.

[Victor]

I agree that this is a very personal issue. One man may feel drained by orgasm once a month while another doesn't feel any ill effect from twice a week. All I can speak from is my own experience. So, in  my experience with my body I tend to have a cycle. It is like the battery becomes depleted about the same after each time but it may feel greater by contrast if it has been longer. I look at the point after orgasm as baseline from that point I feel that the energy builds or fills. Usually for two or three days I feel very drained. At around the fourth day that drained feeling goes away and I feel more inner strength build. Days five to seven or eight is a steady building and I feel more inner luter and ecstatic currents build inside of me.Those are the best days for me to enjoy tantric sex because I have the energy and drive for it yet am not too full and therefore frustrated. If I try tantra at day one or two my concentration tends to be weaker and I am more likely to lose it. After eight to ten days or so I feel very full and while my thoughts and physical energies turn more and more to sex it also takes more and more energy to withold from orgasm so i usually let myself indulge around teh two week point more or less and have an orgasm or two then the cycle starts again. That is my cycle. Perhaps as I get older and practices deepen the cycle wll lenthen but it has been at about this frequency for quite a few years.I look at it like pranayama. In pranayama you lenthen the breath cycle but never attempt to completely stop it nor do you lenthen it to the point of frustration or struggle and this is the same. Mula bandha helps alot here not just as a ways to hold back which is a very short term goal but by building the general tone of the pelvis and general direction of energy so that when you need to hold back you have the strength to do it without too much difficulty. There are differences between the tantric sex cycle and pranayama however since the mind and energies of others make a big difference. With the increased availability and acceptance of porn many men find themselves being more sexually stimulated and therefore seeking orgasm more frequently. For myself I had a phase of having that fascination but am now happily bored with porn due to its annoying everpresence on the internet. A more personal factor is your wife or partner and both handling the stimulation of an intimate relationship as well as understanding your partners needs. That makes it much less simple=but also makes this an exciting new practice that both of you can share together which can deepen the relationship.
 I hope I helped answer your questions and if not please help clarify and one of us will be happy to help.

[Alvin Chan]

Thanks for your reply, Victor. Certainly it helps.

May I know what do you (and many others) mean by "feeling drained"? I am mainly refering it to the mental and physical tiredness/laziness after orgasm. But it seems that you're refering to something more subtle..... (like ecstatic currents)

Also, do you maintain exactly the same sitting practices on your day 1 and 2?

Physically, the pelvic area feel particularly drained after orgasm. So I wonder whether I should be doing siddhasana and mulabandha after such a strong stimulation and drain of that area from orgasm.

My feeling of well-being don't seems to have too much a cause-effect relations with orgasm as you. (provided that I have enough rest and sleep right after the orgasm)  In fact, I usually have orgasm when I feel dull and/or stressed, and I don't have much thoughts on sex when I feel more energetic. Is this because after years of practices, guys like you are more effective in using the sexual energy, while for me the semen is simply something which don't have much use? What's your experience years ago?

[Etherfish]

Isn't there a monthly cycle also, or am I extremely weird? I'm a guy, but It seems to me a yin-yang thing where at one time of each month there is a lot of sexual energy, and two weeks later, less. So it gets replenished a lot quicker during the time when there is more.

[Victor]

I tend to do the same practice evey day regardless. As for feeling drained, that is subjective, I don't know if I am more "advanced" or just weaker. It is a general feeling of emotional and physical build up of energy or strength and then feeling of release and need to rest and recharge. When I have a more full "battery" I can get by on less sleep and generally feel more energetic regardless of awareness of any subtle energy qualities. It is as if my eyes have more sparkle to them or more fire.

[Sparkle]

Etherfish, I can resonate totally with the monthly cycle and know many other men who do also. I always assumed we were tuned to the lunar cycles in this respect, but maybe its something else.