What happens if you only do sitting practices.

[Lili]

I am wondering lately what might be the worst-case scenario for someone who does most or all sitting practices but continues with an ordinary type of relationship without incorporating tantric principles.

I mean objectively I don't see a chance to develop a relationship with someone interested in yoga. Does anyone know what are the consequences of excluding tantric practice in the long run[?]

[david_obsidian]

Hello Lili,

having a 'tantric lover' is only an ideal,  and when it is met,  great,  there is some good opportunity there to add something good to your practice and your life.  When it is not,  there are still many other ways to practice,  and to live.

There is no specific problem with tantra-related seated meditation practices (and/or self-administered sexual activity) in a setting in which the only partner(s) have no tantric or yogic practice.  As regards the relationship(s),  they will proceed or not on their own value.

Regarding yoga-attuned partners,  there are so many factors in what brings two people together,  that you'll find a lot of people on this board and elsewhere who are very much into yoga but their partners are not.  And those relationships are either "good or bad or mediochre" on their own merits.

Another thing to keep in mind,  on the bright side,  if you awaken in tantra or spirituality,  that can give you a lot to bring to a relationship even if the partner is not openly,  directly,  or consciously receptive to your sadhana.

I never had a tantric lover. But I've always had a very worthwhile sadhana.  

Blessings,

-David

[Lili]

Hi David!

I agree with everything you say. I was thinking more along the lines of possible energy loss and how this affects your progress in yoga (or the quality of the relationship - kidding )

Do you think that energy loss can neutralize to an extent the effects of the practice?

[david_obsidian]

quote:Originally posted by Lili


Do you think that energy loss can neutralize to an extent the effects of the practice?

Hi Lili,

what do you mean by energy loss?  There are no cringing puritans here --- do you mean the energy loss of orgasm?

If you are talking about that,  you can take some delight in your the gender of your body --- as far as I know women don't have to limit their orgasms at all to preserve their sexual energy.   They can have lots of them.  [8)] Or if there is energy loss for them,  it's very small.  I'll ask Yogani if I am on the ball here -- after I check the lessons.  Maybe it's even in the lessons --- I haven't read the tantra section enough --- but I have come across that concept before in other tantra writings. If anyone sees it in the lessons,  reply.  

The big loss for men occurs through the ejaculation. If they have the multiple (ordinary,  ejaculatory) orgasms they lose the energy ---

So the situation could be more of an issue for men,  but then only if the partner wants him to have more orgasms (which a tantrically-practicing man typically will want to avoid),  as opposed to say,  simply more sex (which a tantric man can often provide).  But the word around town anyway is that women rarely object to a tantrically-trained man.

-David

[Lili]

But the word around town anyway is that women rarely object to a tantrically-trained man.

-David


hehe this is so funny. I just read recently that women also can lose a lot of energy and this is why I decided to post the topic here but you seem to be convinced this is not the case. Thanks for the uplifting response.

[Victor]

It has been my experience that women do lose some energy but that it is not lasting. they seem to bounce right back as opposed to men who need to recharge more. It also isn't too difficult for a woman to hold back on orgasm if she chooses to as most women take a little more stimulation than men to climax. I really haven't noticed women having the same energetic charge/discharge cycle that men do. Women are more energetically cyclical with thier lunar cycle so the main thing is to do your regular sitting practice and be sensitive to your own inner energy needs and also try to find balance and sensitivity with your partner rather than feeling the need to control his sexual patterns beyond what he deisres.

[david_obsidian]

quote:Originally posted by Lili
 I just read recently that women also can lose a lot of energy and this is why I decided to post the topic here but you seem to be convinced this is not the case. Thanks for the uplifting response.

Hello Lili,

agreement with Victor.  Consensus here is that women will not typically lose a lot of energy.  See also Yogani's lesson

http://aypsite.org/t7.html :

" There is some loss of prana in feminine orgasm,
and some loss of ability to climb to successively higher levels of
divine ecstasy as a woman has multiple orgasms in tantric sex.
Clearly, feminine orgasm is much less of a pranic drain than
masculine orgasm is. "

To put it in perspective,  objective in life is not necessarily to always keep 'sexual energy store' as high as possible at all times,  any more than it is to keep any kind of energy as high as possible at all times (when we do any exercise, we lose energy store for example,  and we still know exercise is good),  and the effect of loss only remains until the store is replenished,  which can be a very short time for a woman.

By the way,  the amount of 'loss of prana' for a man is very individual-dependent,  and time for replenishment seems to take longer as men get older.

My own personal opinion:  female loss of 'prana' during orgasm is never a big deal.

Above all,  experiment and see what the situation is for you.

-David

[Lili]

Cool thanks for the posts both to you and Victor

[nearoanoke]

Hi,

What about males? What is a safe frequency to have orgasm? Once in a week or once in two weeks? I remember yogani telling me in a mail as more than once in 1-2 weeks can eat up your yoga. So I thought of doing it not more than once in two weeks.

Does the frequency need to be reduced to even less as we make progress? Like say once per month or 6 months?






God might not always give you what you WANT, but he will always give you what you NEED

[Anthem]

Hi Near,

If you check Tantra Lesson #46, you'll find a pretty detailed answer by Yogani on this very topic.

In regards to the second part of your question, I am sure Yogani's guidelines are applicable at least until the time that your own awareness of the flow of prana in your body and how it is affected by orgasm, dictates your decision making for how often works for you.

[Victor]

I really htink it is a personal thing. Depends on your practice, your relationship etc.
 Personally I am usually once every two to three wekks, but sometimes I have two or so at that time. When i was married, it was a bit more frequent, maybe once a week. I find that I would liek to go for longer cycles but my fantasies and feeling of being sexually 'full" seem to take over at some point and then the little head convinced the big head that it is really alright and will be no harm. i generally wait till the voice of the little head is good and loud before I heed it, but thats just me.

[Adam West]

For me, I can just get away with the tolerable effects of once a month.  More than once a month, now and then, I can tolerate, unpleasantly so; but consistently more, is intolerable...  Once in the looner cycle is often sited as a maximum amount of tolerable loss within the Tibetan Tantric literature also and others. :-)

In kind regards,

Adam.

[Adam West]

Oh in regards to women... some have suggested orgasm for women have an activating affect on the kundalini.  This maybe so, as my partner clearly states (and this is prior to her exposure to any esoteric knowledge what so ever) that she feels a massive energetic spike straight up the spine from the root to the crown, profoundly ecstatic with every orgasm.  This in my interpretation is clearly a kundalini spike and may have an awakening affect on the charkas and neurology.  Yet she is tired and sleeps after, but that may be neurological (brain chemistry, effects of serotonin and dopamine etc. and the refractory period) and not energetic loss, I suspect it is both.  It is true from my perspective, that the general consensus is that women loose some energy, not problematic amounts unless one is having several a day (my observations may suggest one a day is problematic, as the loss may out way the stimulating/activating affects).  

In the literature, it is considered that a womens time of loss is during menstruation, which is commensurate with a mans ejaculation.  Also, there is profound loss due to child bearing, which is said to have the same effects as long term consistent ejaculations of a man, my empirical observations seem to bear this out also :-)

In kind regards,

Adam.

[david_obsidian]

Hi Near,

another thing to keep in mind is that it varies person to person.  Some men are just blessed with having less energy loss (and-or less time-to-recovery) than others.

The other thing is that as we get older,  the time-to-recovery tends to get longer for all of us.

-D

[sauravu]

As far as I know from hindu folklore that an average women has eight times the sexual energy than man . It is logical considering that they are the primary bearers of human race. But it seems that they needlarger stimulus to activate them as we men with smaller energy can do it more quickly . There fore I regard women discharge the same or more  amount of energy per orgasm as men only they have more of it and take longer to discharge . Remember this whole universe is a veritable creation out of a metaphorical womb.