Stability

[jamuna]

Hi all, just seeking some feedback/ tips on maintaining stability from anyone who feels qualified to comment as recently I have found this a little more challenging then normal.

I have previous meditation experience and had a fairly stable practice and a wholesome discipline in most areas of lifestyle including weekly and monthly fasting and sexual restraint. Recently (2 and a bit months) I added spinal breathing with a few add ons and have found this fantastic, it has considerably deepened my meditations[] and given me more energy. However I have a new challenge and that is I have lost a bit of stability.

I go through phases (days) of fairly intense sensual cravings, I want to eat heaps and often crave indulgent and unhealthy food, a few days ago it got to the point were I was begging myself not to eat anything else whilst the spoon of food that honesty had a mind of its own entered my mouth... haha I couldn't help but laugh and just try to 'let go'. I have also not been able to fast and I have also had a much stronger sex drive and have found restraint very difficult, this is more concerning as it has a noticeable negative impact on my spiritual practices, these have also been coupled with moderate mood swings .


might just be an adjusting phase but any relevant experience tips etc much appreciated


ps, shortly after writing this throbbing sensations in my brow region have become very uncomfortable....cont next morn.. hello, last night was very uncomfortable it felt like my forehead wanted to collapse into itself and was sucking in 'space' also I had the sensation that the top of my head was going to break open and my brain was expanding, even focusing on an object, looking into the distance or closing my eyes made it more intense. That was not totally bad in itself except I began to become afraid and irrational which would cause floods of adrenaline/energy to overcome me making me want to throw up. I found controlling my thoughts and this phenomena very challenging but I would say overall I was coping. Summing up I would say I was very unbalanced with a lot of energy in the head.

Obviously I have began self pacing

[Richard]

Sounds like you are a sensitive meditator

quote:Obviously I have began self pacing

That is it that's the best thing you can do at the moment. Have a good look at this lesson as well I think it will help you

http://www.aypsite.com/plus/367.html

[jamuna]

thank you, yes that is helpful.

I did lots of grounding activity today and things have improved. I am a little surprised at how powerful this experience was however, I have been using mantra and breath meditation now consistently now for a few years and now practice for several hours daily (until I started with AYP). This experience was definitely not something I am used to, I am a little reluctant to meditate again now, but I'll give it a go in a few days. Thank you again this forum is very useful

[Anthem]

Hi jamuna,

Welcome to the forums. Agreed, sounds like you are doing too much. What is your overall routine like in terms of time spent doing DM, pranayama, other mudras and postures?

It may be time to look at the routine and simplify it for the sake of staying stable.

Best of luck![]

[jamuna]

Thanks Anthem11

My routine has consisted of

-nadi shodhanam (6-12 cycles)

- I do 2-3 minutes breath observation before SBP

-spinal breathing for 3-7 minutes- if my mind is aggitated I lean towards 7,integrating mulabundha, uddiyana and kumbhaka (kumbhaka has been light and has been what my breath would naturally be inclined to do after the inhalation.)

-Deep meditation, I have been doing a breath mantra that I was all ready established in as I find this very comfortable (similar to Tibetan SO-HUM mantra) I do this for around 10-15 minutes, all though sometimes I loose track of time or don't want it to end and do a bit more, I also roll the eyes toward the brow when doing this as that was my previous practice and it happens of its own accord now.

-Samyama

*started amaroli.

For me mulabandha feels the most energetically stimulating, samyama makes me feel very 'energetic' as well however it feels as though it sooths SBP energy so I am not sure what to do about this yet.

I am confused on the difference between symptoms of excess and progress so if anyone can help clarify that would be great, prior to AYP I had been able to cultivate a strong  sense of presence in the third eye region and I thought this was a good thing. With SBP and samyama that presence had intensified and was with me all day. Is that in itself a signal of excess? should I avoid cultivating this  and stop meditation when it begins to develop because previously I thought it was good and it seems a natural development when meditating on the ajna chakra? all though there is no doubt my experience a few nights ago was whole heartedly unpleasant and I do not want a repeat .

[Victor]

Your practice seems quite gentle and well balanced to me. I would just keep at it with sensitivity and try to explore the subtle adjustments that you can do in practice to smooth things out.
 My practice consists of 20 minutes pranayama with kechari and retentions followed by 20 mins of meditation. Interestingly enough I find that the pranayama comes easier for me than the meditation with mantra, and I do get purification symptoms at times but I think that the best response is to roll with it and not make too big a deal out of the fluctuations, they are just like waves in a choppy sea that will smooth out over time till you might run into some big ones along the way as you get deeper but by then you should be equipped to surf the waves happily.
 Oh, I definitely recommend relaxation for 5-10 minutes after your practice just lying on your back without doing any mantra or formal practice but just a bit of rest before getting up and back to the world. That should help alot for fluctuations.

[jamuna]

Thanks Victor,

I am going to return to my normal routine minus mulabandha tonight and if everything goes smoothly ill reintroduce mulabandha. I think not making an excessive deal over the fluctuations was a good point, it may have been the case that my previous inexperience with purification events such as this heightened my anxiety and I think if it happens again it will be a smoother ride.

Once again I really appreciate the support of this forum you guys rock

[Anthem]

quote:Originally posted by jamuna

Thanks Anthem11

My routine has consisted of

-nadi shodhanam (6-12 cycles)

- I do 2-3 minutes breath observation before SBP

-spinal breathing for 3-7 minutes- if my mind is aggitated I lean towards 7,integrating mulabundha, uddiyana and kumbhaka (kumbhaka has been light and has been what my breath would naturally be inclined to do after the inhalation.)

-Deep meditation, I have been doing a breath mantra that I was all ready established in as I find this very comfortable (similar to Tibetan SO-HUM mantra) I do this for around 10-15 minutes, all though sometimes I loose track of time or don't want it to end and do a bit more, I also roll the eyes toward the brow when doing this as that was my previous practice and it happens of its own accord now.

-Samyama

*started amaroli.

For me mulabandha feels the most energetically stimulating, samyama makes me feel very 'energetic' as well however it feels as though it sooths SBP energy so I am not sure what to do about this yet.

.

Hi Jamuna,

Just to note, you are not really following the AYP script, with a lot of additions you describe above, so it will be difficult to ensure you have a stable routine from an AYP perspective. You mention 3-4 minutes of breath observation prior to breathing exercises, this is essentially meditation. With AYP we keep our meditation practices all together to be done immediately after breathing practices.

In addition, from the perspective of a sensitive meditator, you are definitely doing more breathing practices than is recommended by AYP. I am not sure how long 6-12 rounds of nadi shodhanam would take but added to 3-7 minutes of spinal breathing pranayama could definitely contribute to symptoms of too much purification. With AYP 10 minutes of pranayama is recommended to go along with 20 minutes of deep meditation.  I personally look to maximize meditation time before adding in too much pranayama breathing as it can be a big stimulator. The more inner silence that is cultivated from meditation, the easier it will be to handle any uncomfortable symptoms that come along from too much release.

 

quote:I am confused on the difference between symptoms of excess and progress so if anyone can help clarify that would be great, prior to AYP I had been able to cultivate a strong  sense of presence in the third eye region and I thought this was a good thing. With SBP and samyama that presence had intensified and was with me all day. Is that in itself a signal of excess? should I avoid cultivating this  and stop meditation when it begins to develop because previously I thought it was good and it seems a natural development when meditating on the ajna chakra? all though there is no doubt my experience a few nights ago was whole heartedly unpleasant and I do not want a repeat

The AYP lessons recommend that when symptoms of purification become uncomfortable, it is time to self-pace which sounds like what you have in mind.

Best of luck![]

[jamuna]

Ok yes thats good to know, I tried to return to my old routine after a few days off however it became evident after the first spinal breath that that was not a good idea, I have been doing 10 minutes of meditation a day and I am still waiting for things to die down, I haven't had a large episode again but several times a day I find myself having to stop everything I am doing a let symptoms pass for 5 minutes or so, when I am with people this can be hard to 'cover up'. I  have a great deal of respect for this technique now and just want things to return to normal.