acceptance from others

[sflorey]

Hello. I'm still quite new to meditation and ayp and uave some questions.

  I have been struggling to find time to meditate while at home. Not because I can't make time but because of criticism of others. I will hide myself and try to "sneak" in as much time as I can, but my wife will come looking for me after only a few minutes of mesitation. When she finds me I am stopped abruptly from my session to hear how I'm wasting my time ans making her life of taking care of our kids more difficult. Meditation practises over short term have already had amazing effects on my attitude and lifestyle. Its driven me to eat healthier and make large steps forward to quit smoking with not but willpower. However since the criticism has started my sessions have been shortened and I'm having difficulty keeping a routine. Does anyone have advice for me to help my wife understand what I'm trying to accomplish? The meditations are going well when I can practice. I just can't get a full 20 minutes. I have also resorted to not practicing pranayyama in order to increase dm time. Is this wrong to do?

[jonesboy]

Hi sflorey,

I can really relate to your issue. I know when I first started it was difficult with the family and even now my wife likes to throw in a comment to try to dig me. I have done two things. One and the most important is I learned that all that anxiety you are feeling is not caused by the wife or the kids it is you. If you did not feel that anxeity her comments would not have any effect.. right?

You are starting something that is about you. Sometimes others can feel threatened by that, they don't feel included. For me in the morning I just set my alarm back. Now instead of waking up at 6 I wake up at 5 in the morning to do it. That way it doesn't interfere with anything and it is also very quiet in the house. During the weekend my family has learned that this is something I am very serious about and will leave me alone to do my Yoga. They have noticed the changes in me and how happy I am after I am done. I now have my wife asking me to go meditate when I am in one of my rare bad moods

So, the first thing is to make sure we are not using meditation to escape from family responsibility. The second is to see if we can arrange our time, to make a habit of a time and place that allows us to do our practice. Third and most important is communication with our spouse. Talk to her and let her know how it makes you feel and that this is important to you. I know it was very hard for my wife to argue that 30 minutes in the morning meditating was wrong and taking away from the family. If your chosen time is right when the kids are about to leave for school then I can see her point.

Gradually over time they will see the changes and accept what you are doing. Before you know it she will be telling you to go meditate

[Will Power]

When I started practising my mother critized me because she saw it as a deviation from Christianity. After some time, during the periods when I didn't practise, i.e. exams period, when I was more agitated, she told me to practise to be more relaxed[]

Good idea to get up earlier, jonesboy

[mathurs]

Hi Sflorey,
Exactly like Jonesboy said I wake up earlier to fit in my morning session.
Just like you are adjusting to your meditation routines the family needs time to adjust to your change in routine. After a while people arond you realise that this is something important to you.
 And also there is no harm in cutting out Pranayama and just sticking to Meditation till things settle for you. You will be fine. Bhakti will find a way.

[sflorey]

Thank you everyone. I greatly appreciate your help