Technoyogi's Journal

[technoyogi]

Starting a journal seems like a good thing to do as enlightenment is more of a process than a thing.  

I grew up fairly devout Catholic as a child but in my teens came to question it for what now seem like fairly obvious reasons... there is essentially no teachings that help you validate and experience things for yourself.  Certainly never thought that a sinner like me could ever hope for something like enlightenment...

Then about 5 years ago I remember saying something to G/d in a rare moment of prayer along the lines of "you made me so rational, so scientific (I studied graduate quantum physics and worked in nanotech for 13 years), please just give me a sign".  Well, divinity has done just that in various ways over the last 5 years, so I got my wish and could not be happier abou that thus far

Starting with meeting my future wife shortly thereafter, which marked the beginning of my spiritual awakening, I soon had spontaneous visionary experiences, out of body experiences, etc.

I was fortunate to also take some breathing workshops (both pranayama and Holotropic breathing) which gave me further visionary experiences and assisted me in my Dream Yoga practice.

I have had some amazing non dual experiences both in waking consciousness and while out of body, and I have come to believe that the next stage of our evolution is a kind of "Democratization of Enlightenment", a term I was introduced to at a spiritual workshop by a Rabbi named Marc Gafni.

The idea being that even in the day of many of the great avatars like Buddha or Christ, democracy as we know it today was not at all widespread.  Much less the access to the real knowledge needed to become enlightened.  So now here we are and democracy has proliferated, but enlightenment has not.

Enter concepts like the Boddisatva vow, or the Kabbalistic idea that the second coming of the Messiah will not be an individual but rather everyone waking up... this is what I long to see.

This is why I resonate so strongly with this material in this site and the works of Yogani in general.  The guru is indeed in all of us, and now things like technology can help us see that.  The internet allows Yogani and others to propagate their enlightened wisdom to all who care to read it.  It is like Buddha meets the internet

Now, on a somewhat more grave note, I also see that technology is growing exponentially, possibly getting out of control.  On paper exponential curves look beautiful.  In real life systems that grow exponentially blow up or die, witness atomic bombs and bacteria populations growing exponentially then dying from their own waste in a petri dish...

Great minds with a vested interest in technology advancement are actually warning us *against* exponential technology, people like Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, and Elon Musk of Tesla Motors are all warning that AI (Artificial Intelligence) could eventually wipe out humanity.  

And why not?  At the current rate computers double in power every 1.5 years, so once they are as powerful as a human brain, at that rate 10 years later they are 1000 times more powerful.  And presently the likely place such AI will be born is in a corporate setting like Google, or as a Wall St. Algorithm, so they would be born by definition from a place of greed to begin with...

So if humanity might only have 20 to 30 years left before some exponential tech takes us out (biotech doubles every 5 months, waaaaay faster than computers double in power)... what can be done.

Well to me it is obvious, more of us need to wake up and raise the collective level sufficiently to slow down this progress.  We are trying to create infinite intelligence when it already resides inside of us, how ironic, no need for that.

I view this threat of technology as more of an opportunity for all to awaken.  I started a FB page dedicated to helping bridge the gaps of understanding between science and spirituality, and dedicated towards this idea of a Democratization of Enlightenment.

https://www.facebook.com/technoenlightenment

In the end I may be a foolish dreamer, and that is fine by me.  Likely as is said in Desiderata, all is unfolding as it should.  Yet still I have compassion to drive me and the thought of all of humanity possibly meeting with a self created fate is not something I can avert my gaze from.

So that is what now drives me.  I seek enlightenment for its own sake, yet also because I feel it is necessary to help others to awaken, and to spread the message that such a thing as enlightenment is even possible.

I speak science and marketing and spirituality well, which I view as the 3 lengua franca in some sense of the modern day, so my message to others will be a mix of all of these wrapped together.  Where necessary I will talk to the lower chakra needs of those who are not awakened and try to gently implant what I call "positive trojan horses" that suggest change is needed...

And with that long intro out of the way, I will start journaling my experiences, such as they may be.  Namaste everyone, if you made it this far thanks for reading

[technoyogi]

MILESTONE: Kechari Stage 2/3

3/7 Evening Practice -trying out Kechari Mudra

I have been practicing for about a month now with SBP and DB, however, I came across this site maybe a year ago when I was looking for ways to open my third eye and found kechari mudra. Knowing what I now know I realize this was premature and out of place, however I gave kechari mudra a go.

Turns out my tongue was/is very long and I was pretty much able to get to stage 2 quickly. But I did not stick with it.

Now, after a month of practice I thought I would give it a quick try and it seems I could go a bit further than when I had tried it in the past.

I go up on the left side and now I dont even need to use a finger to assist to get in. Then I feel immediately with the top of my tongue a large rounded smooth surface.

If I then push a bit with my finger it seems like the tip of my tongue gets past that area (which seems to be maybe a half an inch high or so) to what I assume is the start nasal passages. This part feels a bit more firm, and slightly rounded at the base.

At least when I got there, I wondered if I was starting to get in enough to block off the air in one nostril. Turns out I did not fully manage that, I could still breath through the nostril I was targeting (while blocking the other one with my hand) but it was slightly harder and made a bit of a noise.

At that stage, it feels like I can bend the tip of my tongue forward as if to cover or push into that passage, and the tip sort of burns a bit from the strain (not in a bad way, kind of pleasant actually).

Thus far no negative symptoms, will of course back off if I get any. It does seem to give me stronger 3rd eye pulsing than normal.

I also had done jala neti for the second time ever prior to this sitting, seemed intuitively like a good thing to do before Kechari.

[technoyogi]

3/9 Evening practice

What went well: nice energy movement, felt like I was feeling my bones relax almost.  Got more energy flow on right side of body and scalp than left side...

What was a challenge:  gut was gurgling so much that it was actually distracting me from DM a bit...

Sat in my closet for the meditation as I always do.  My wife and I set up a meditation room with crystal bowls, pillows, candles, etc, but somehow my intuition was telling me to be in pure dark so the closet was better for that.  Very cave like somehow...

Sat down and relaxed for a minute, went into Siddhasana and began spinal breathing, maybe did it for about 10 minutes or so.  Was better able to trace my spine than yesterday.

Began doing Samma Vritti.  I like this pranayama as it contains all parts of the breath and it feels to me like I am distributing prana to all parts of my body.  Sometimes if I go to a 15 count, I feel my teeth pulsing with energy.  Might just be blood rushing to the gums really but it still feels good.

In the middle of Samma Vritti felt like trying Kechari again.  I decided that since I had no negative symptoms from the day before it would be OK to try again.  I probably only did a minute of it.  It does seem to charge up the practice.

Went into DM, had a bit harder time than yesterday staying on the mantra but was happy with this too as it would mean I am purifying either way.  After maybe 15 minutes I decided to drop the mantra and let my mind roam, or at least this is what I tell myself yet it is a way to trick myself not to think and just focus on the breath still.  This was good and I had nice inner silence.

Took a moment to finish that up then transitioned to Samyama laying down.  My left leg was asleep from the sitting. This Samyama practice is new for me and I am just saying some positive words like Love, Peace, etc. every 15 seconds I know I need to read the actual list, but for now it seems OK.

Somewhere in there I blissed out a just a bit and stopped Samyama.  When words try to come they were like nonsense words.  Like some words like "Palagaran", etc.  Felt like I was thinking but not really since these words made no real sense...

Finished up with centering and gratitude for the session and came to write this, maybe about 50 minutes of total session...

[jusmail]

Keep up the great work.

[technoyogi]

Thanks Jusmail, I hope to

Week of 3/9/2015 - Summary = stomach gurling, some conductivity, tried adding mulabandha and sambhavi mudras for the first time.  Seems to given me loose bowels but not in any uncomfortable way, so chalking that up to purification

Monday - did a longer morning session, started it with an epsom salt and clay bath, rinse off shower, 10 minutes of my own favorite asanas (need to get the quick list Yogani suggests and try that), then did 5 min SBP, 5 min SV, 10 min DM, 5 min Samyama.  

Later now in the day I listened to my usual focus music for work (Focus at Will app, Oct Beta Test).  It is the same 40 min track, played over and over, yet now likely in part to the increased ecstatic conductivity of the practice, I always get goose bumps in a particular part, and sometimes tears of joy while looking out my window at the perfection of nature and humanity around me....

-interesting moment where I was looking at a visiting seagull and felt sorry for it because it is less alpha than another one and gets chased away a lot.  I suddenly found myself sending it energy as if to will it to be stronger, and suddenly it was seeming to respond, almost getting taller and a bit agitated...

Will try to just keep editing this particular post as the week goes on that way I have the memories of events fresh in my mind.

Evening practice - SBP, SV, DM, while in Saddhasana, then laying down, early attempts at Samyama, no kechari this time.

Some energetic effects, mainly third eye pulsing, some crown activity.  Probably total of 30 to 40 minutes. all combined.

Tuesday
Asana->Saddhasana: SBP, SV, DM, Samyama  30 minutes
Right side of body tingles like prior day, interesting so localized to right side. Forgot to add "Akasha" in Samyama. Some stomach gurgling started during samyama.  Some coughing too, which had never happened before.  Felt like I was coughing up some phlegm... maybe some purification lol.

Better able to catch myself during DM going "outside" to the world and coming back to the mantra almost immediately often, instead of long periods of outside thought.

Ended for some reason with a standing complete Yogic breath, had an amazing vibration effect in my face, thought reality might wink out there for a bit.

Felt just a bit of a pressure in my temples 4 hours later, though could be from working for 4 hours straight...

Evening session - SBP, DM, Samyama - lots of stomach gurgling, very relaxing session though. Mind a bit more restless during DM, yet got my whole forehead to have a very pleasant sensation.  Possible Kumbaka starting, went very shallow at least, had to remember to breathe.

Wednesday
Did a session at 4 PM, not optimal but better than nothing
Asana 5min, Saddhasana: SBP 10 min, DM 15 min
Forgot Ujayii on the exhale in SBP.  Tried mulabanda, but even though I could flex it for long periods, for some reason it felt like the stress of flexing extended down into my leg, so I didnt want to get distracted and gave up on that.
Gurling, an odd burnt smell, dreamlike snipets came as I seemed to drift somewhere, and at some point instead of saying IAM, caught myself randomly saying some other word.  Maybe that was me giving myself a secret mantra like they supposedly give you in other traditions lol.  Went back to IAM of course...

Evening session
SBP w/ Mulabandha, DM, Samyama -
Mulabanda - tried the version where I did it only while on the inhale.  Starting it each time seemed to immediately send a pulse to my brow well before my SBP got there.
gurgling at the end a bit, not nearly as much as day session.  IAM seemed to be easier at one point to keep in rhythm with heart beat. Then later just being witness to the IAM happening on its own made it easier to just keep going without thinking.

Thursday
Morning Saddha asana -> SBP w/ ascending Mulabandha, DM, Samyama - some gurgling, the bottom part of my right index finger had a dull ache, other than that no discomfort.

Night, same routine, tried experimenting with addition of Sambhavi Mudra.  Was better at remembering pranayama restriction only on the exhale.
DM - started off really strong, almost unbroken concentration for 2 minutes or so which was a first.  Overall a good session. At end, felt like I let the mantra sort of vibrate all of my body, and not just be in my head.  Very relaxing feeling.  First time in a long time doing it before dinner...
Lots of random memory snipets even going back to childhood during meditation during the last week too...
Brow was throbbing intensely, felt like a mini pulsar.

Friday
AM - 5Asana, 5SBP, 5SV, 15DM. Thoughts were harder to control than 3/12.

PM - 10SBP, 25DM, 10Samyama -> Gurgling was really strong, remember feeling somehow comforted by it.  Just me and this little universe of trillions of bacteria in my gut getting stimulated by prana...
Had read up more on Samyama and drilled with the 10 sutras so that I remembered them better this time, it was very comforting and I had more stillness during samyama than DM.
Noticed some odd sensation in upper right abdomen under ribs...

Saturday
AM - 5Asana, 7SBP, 5SV, 15DM, 5 Samyama. Started DM with intention to be focused and that helped keep stillness.
PM - 5 SBP, 5 SV, 25 DM no samyama - last 5 min of the DM rather distracted.

Sunday
AM - 10, SBP, 20DM, no bells or whistles.  Was somewhat distracted.

PM - felt very ungrounded due to events in the day, a rather incendiary email from a client, lots of tough deadlines.  Decided to self pace skipped this session entirely.  Slept poorly, but did some brief meditation when I woke at 5 am, felt my body go into a blissful state eventually. Usually in past cases like this I was never able to go back to sleep.

When I woke up, the client had read my email and had a miraculous change of heart.

[Charliedog]

quote:Enter concepts like the Boddisatva vow, or the Kabbalistic idea that the second coming of the Messiah will not be an individual but rather everyone waking up... this is what I long to see.

YES

[Ecdyonurus]

Hi technoyogi, I admire your intensity and intention on the path of yoga.

But I wonder if your idea of writing a journal with so many detailed reports is sustainable. Also, writing down the scenery and body symptoms you experience during practices may be an obstacle for your progress. Actually, it could be more effective to simply don't care about it at all.

Just my opinion, of course.

[technoyogi]

Good points Ecdyonurus, thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

I suppose I am taking the "spiritual scientist" approach for now, and it may indeed not be sustainable.  It is just that I have never kept a diary and for many things in life looking back I wished I had.  That said, I am sure life will intervene and many days I will have no time to catalog this way.  Doing it for now while I do have the time, and then when I do not I can compare the two approaches :-)

And Charliedog, thanks for the encouragement, sounds like we are on the same page!

[technoyogi]

Week of 3/9/2015 - Summary = spent a bit less time than last week on practice due to time constraints.  Advanced in Kechari as noted below in bold.  Started to end practice with Child's pose in order to rest more effectively.  In one session got into a bit of automatic Asvini Mudra.  Seemed like it was a natural consequence of the root getting "tired" and then sort of just spasming a bit...

Monday -
AM = 5 SBP, 15DM
PM = 25DM - this was one of my better meditations yet.  My body started going gently blissful, nice energetic humm at my spine behind my heart, almost fell asleep.

Tuesday
AM = 5 SBP, 15DM
PM - 10SBP, 20DM

Wednesday: New kechari milestone
=========================================
Feels like this deserves special delineation - today I had a kechari session that I had to shut down midway because sure enough, it was just going up forcefully once I got it in there. Seemed physically impossible what it was trying to do....  

I had this sense like "I know I am not quite ready for this, more purification to be done... nice to know it is there when I need it or am ready for it... I posted in my other post on kechari about how it led to amazing tantric sex later in the night.
=========================================

THursday:
Usual day, but at night meditation I did it in the meditation room.  Since it was not pitch dark I saw a bit of a tunnel or star forming at third eye area.  Also, later in meditation, felt like I AM was bouncing from root to crown through shushumna, nice feeling. Like maybe I went up, AM went down, over and over...

Friday:
AM: woke with slight tension in back of head but it went away so did morning sit as usual.  10 SBP, 20 DM
Realization - I have been doing something like Sambhavi naturally many times throughout the last many years without know what it was, I was closing my eyes, focusing strongly at the center point, feeling a sort of intensity that helped my "marshal my energies" and often would see a brief star flash.
PM - 10SBP, 20DM, 5Samyama
Realized that I had not been seeing the star with the circle in it, this is more like a 5 pointed star outline in white light with just darkness in the center.  However, the reason I realized a difference was because during PM practice tonight, while doing Sambhavi intently, I DID see a very distinct single point of white light in somewhat of a circle.  Dont know if it was the same white light point called the star, it was the first time I saw it in just meditation since I meditate in complete darkness. Have seen a star after a 75 minute pranayama session before, with other colors, and very persistent...
Played with Kechari again, it is hard to resist.  It is not automatic, but my tongue can go there, and it feels pleasant, and it definitely gets energy flowing, and as of yet no major issues.  Hope I am not setting myself for some kind of cumulative event, but on a daily basis I seem to be fine...

Saturday
AM - 10SBP, 20DM
PM - 10SBP, 20DM

Sunday
AM - 5SBP, 15DM
Mid day played with Kechari, read whole 13 page kechari thread.  Realized I had been going high but back toward back of my head.  Went forward and still got to stage 2/3 but backed off as despite the curiosity of how far I can get not trying to trigger too much at this stage.
PM - 5SPB, 15DM - best DM yet in terms of staying on the mantra, perhaps because I stayed in Kechari stage 1 the whole time...

[technoyogi]

Week of 3/23  
Summary:
[/\]Started with interesting experience of doing pranayama in the dream state as per the link below.
[/\]Kechari Stage 3/4 - Night of 3/25 before sleep I decided to see how far my tongue can go in Kechari, most definitely I can get the tip into the nasal passages now.  Tested to see if I can block breathing in a nostril, that still is not happening.  Not using this for extended time periods longer than say 30 seconds or so every now and then, mainly doing Kechari stage 1 and when I do meditations.  It is like I have the switches in place without the full electricity yet, need to establish more ecstatic conductivity. Update on Sunday: got a bit of possible ecstatic conductivity at the "secret spot" - felt like a pleasant cross between stinging and an electric shock.
[/\]Used blocking effectively during a tantra session

Monday
Day started with some astral pranayama before I got out of bed:
http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/index.php?topic=15148

AM - 5SBP, 15DM - did an abbreviated session because we had people in the house and I was busy.  Fairly distracted session but better than not doing it.
PM - 10SBP, 20DM, 5Sam did some light stretching before starting, mostly things to bend the spine forward and back.


Tuesday
AM - 10 SBP, 20 DM, was better at integrating SBP w mulabanda, samhavi, cool and warm currents, stage 1 kechari all at once.
PM - 10 SBP, 20 DM felt bored somehow toward end of DM.  Decided to try mantra out loud for first time, interesting at least as a contrast, made my head ring nicely even after one minute.  Used meditation room instead of closet, better back support...

Wednesday
AM - 10 SBP, 20 DM - added a little bit of Kechari stage 1 and 2
PM - 10 SBP, 25 DM - kind of lost track of time in DM.  At some point I let the ringing in my ears become I AM and that seemed to keep me on track better than usual.  And there is some kind of indirect visualization or concept of interlocking infinity symbols that seems to pervade the mantra, like somehow the criss crossing of the I AM polarity, hard to explain this one but it pops up every now and then...

THursday
AM - 5Asana, 10SBP, 20DM - much more focused DM probably due to the Asanas
PM - did practice right after a weight lifting workout for the first time ever. Definitely felt more surrender than usual.  10 SBP, 20 DM
Tantra - had a tantra session where I lost control and had to use blocking, felt like I was not going to be successful but using all fingers and holding for about 90 seconds did the trick...

Friday -
AM - 5Asana, 10SBP, 20DM - again more focused DM probably due to the Asanas and showering prior to meditation.  Had some brief hynagogic imagery, something like a golden spiral with many gold rectangles shooting off of it. Went back to meditation of course. Also, felt like I felt the bottom of the spinal nerve briefly during DM, literally for just bout 2 or 3 seconds.
PM - 5 SBP, 5 SV, 20 DM  went in a bit earlier than normal, in part because I was tired from weight lifting the day before.  - lots of random memory  snippets from my life.  At the end the mantra got fairly fuzzy. Used wedge cushion as always for back support during SBP, but then added a normal pillow as a wedge that gave me more comfort and back support, plan to use this for more comfort going forward.

Saturday
AM - 5 min of band calistenics, shower, 10 min asanas, 10 SBP, 20 DM. - Strong pulse in forehead maybe due to addition of calisthenics. Ended by getting into lotus and relaxing through the slight discomfort.
PM - 10 SBP, 20 DM, 5 Samyama  - Tried tonight with no earplugs. . I had done this in the past but not while my wife was home.  Of course there were added distraction, noise of her in the kitchen, but it was fine, a very good sit overall.  
Did one minute of stage 3 Kechari during the SBP, which gave a strong Ajna pulse that lasted even till now as I type the update.

Sunday
AM - 10 SBP, 20 DM - very unfocused DM, lots of external distraction and just generally a somewhat fragmented state of mind.  At end of everything I played with Kechari for about 30 seconds and got something akin to an ecstatic response from a spot higher up on the septum.  This felt like a cross between a mild electric shock and stinging, yet in a pleasant way.
On the flip side, felt the first ever burning sensation during meditation that I recall.  Seemed to be in the base of my spinal nerve or maybe urethra.  Felt like tube like energy.  Only lasted about 15 seconds in total, and in small bursts of about 2 or 3 seconds, multiple times.  Could have just been the pressure of Siddhasana, or that I am pushing the self pacing envelope too fast.  Will continue to monitor future sessions.

PM - 10 SBP, 20 DM

[compassion]

quote:Originally posted by technoyogi
Tuesday
AM - 10 SBP, 20 DM, was better at integrating SBP w mulabanda, samhavi, cool and warm currents, stage 1 kechari all at once.
PM - 10 SBP, 20 DM felt bored somehow toward end of DM.  Decided to try mantra out loud for first time, interesting at least as a contrast, made my head ring nicely even after one minute.  Used meditation room instead of closet, better back support...

Hi technoyogi,

Seems like you are keeping to the twice-daily practice well. I haven't read in detail all of your posts, but something caught my eye on the last one. You mentioned that in one of the sessions you felt bored towards the end of DM and decided to try something different.

We generally interpret boredom to mean that we need to do something else, which is what you did. But boredom is only our way of avoiding something that we are reluctant to face. Starting to face what lurks within there can be an area of great discovery, and the fact that it is coming up in meditation is a sign that things are progressing nicely.

In deep meditation the practice is to return to the mantra when we notice that we are off it. If we notice boredom, we just gently return to the mantra, like anything else that comes up.

[ak33]

compassion makes an excellent point. Just come back to the mantra. Often we complicate the most simple of instructions. Good luck

[technoyogi]

Thanks for the comments compassion and ak33!  Nice to have some people drop by this lonely outpost that is my journal

Since that day I have been good about sticking with the mantra said internally, but I am glad that it can be viewed as a positive that I actually got bored for the first time.  Even this morning I was tempted to say a longer mantra that I used to use out loud but decided to just keep things relatively simple for now.  This morning was possibly my best DM so far in terms of focus on the mantra, so things are going OK for now.  Thanks again for the advice, I really appreciate anyone who even skims the journal given it is already a bit looooong lol

[jonesboy]

Hi technoyogi

Loving the log, it is very detailed and is helping a lot. I love your honesty.

If you don't mind I would like to ask you a question.

How do you approach thoughts, feelings and sensations within your meditation session?

For instance do you go into your session with the intent of just letting go of the mantra? Notice your off and return to the mantra right?

If that is true, then anything else is just the brain/ego trying to stop you or distract you because it doesn't like silence. My job is to return to the mantra. That is how I think about it anyways.

So for me any thoughts during the session of using a longer mantra, checking out the visuals or being bored. Is just the brain not wanting to be silent and pulling me into those thoughts those daydreams. It is a game and the ego just scored. Now my job is to acknowledge this and go back to the mantra.

Sorry to rant and it is obvious you know what you are doing. I am just curious as to how you view it is all.

Take care my friend.

[technoyogi]

Hi Jonesboy, thanks for the comments and the question!

I guess presently I do try to do pretty much what you said and what was instructed in the deep meditation book and the various writings.  That is to say, yes, I try to just "gently favor" the mantra and get back to it when I get off of it.  That single phrase, "gently favor" is what helped me switch to mantra meditation at all since prior to AYP I was used to either an out loud mantra (for a brief while I practiced SGI "nam myou hou ren ge kyou" mantras) or if not those then just noticing the breath.  Yet this idea of gently favoring the mantra has allowed me to have a real meditation practice.  I used to get too caught up in whether I was meditating "correctly" if I did not fully quiet my mind, now for the most part I just "gently favor" the mantra and understand what I need to do.

I admit I often get curious for a bit about the random memories that seem to be popping up all over the place.  In tonight's session, I had a lot of these.  Part of me wants to stop for a second and try to access if there was some emotion that likely went with that visual snippet, then I remember to just go back to the mantra.  

Today for the first time in Siddasana, the pressure of my heal seemed to arouse me, and I just went back to the mantra.  Always back to the mantra.  I like what Yogani says somewhere that if some great figure or Avatar rides up to you on a Golden Chariot, you just go back to the mantra lol.

Seems to vary by the day, some days my mind stays on the mantra more, some days I find myself bouncing back and forth to thought streams.  But since Yogani has said all of it is purification, it never feels frustrating or like wasted time.  

I am barely getting to a month or so of doing it twice daily, and maybe 6 weeks or so into using this type of mantra, so sill much learning and practice to do, looking forward to whatever the journey has in store