Nothing is Solid but Love

[Ananda]

Our decisions no matter how much devoted we are to them... Life will create conditions for us to be shaken... No I haven't found peace but I still love. I feel forsaken but I can't help but love. I am tired but I still love. Loving is my prayer.

Even love turns into anger.. Yet we love again and again. No matter how far you go... Up or low... You will love. Love the unknown...

I am tired of following others... Love says be you.

No matter how much I fail or hurt... I am a lover.

"And Jesus said to him, The foxes have holes and the birds of the heaven roosting-places, but the Son of man has not where he may lay his head."

[Shanti]

Sweet!

[Ananda]

[Ananda]

Dear Shantiji,

It so happens that when I posted this topic... You came to mind... And I've just stumbled into this post of yours[]

http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/index.php?topic=12605#107745

quote:Originally posted by Shanti

Hi Mykal,
Here is something that came to me a few years ago... feel it may help here...
http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/index.php?topic=6402

quote:Originally posted by Shanti

Fall in love with the gift being given to you
Not the box it comes in.

Fall in love with the silence
Not the practices that bring you silence.


Fall in love with the truth being revealed to you
Not the guru or system that is delivering the truth.

We miss so much by focusing on the form that delivers the truth to us.
The ego will analyze, judge, defend, a guru or a system.
That is what the ego loves to do.. engage itself in something.
But when we let go the judgment, the analyzing, the defending...
We let the actual teachings in.
These teachings are real subtle and beyond the mind.
Hence the mind does not get it.

Be....
....silent......

Let go the attachment to the gift box
And start enjoying the gift.
The truths being sent to us
The blessings being poured into our lives.

Fall in love with....
The guru in you...
The silence.
Shhhhhhhhhhhh......

[Ananda]

[Shanti]

[whippoorwill]

[Namath]

Reminds me of Yassin's story that he once shared with me:

Once someone came to his  Sheik and said to him: "Sir, I love you and I love the Messenger of God and I love God"

The Sheikh smiled and said to him:"(ya Kethret-hom!)  So Many! "

[Ananda]

I've heard similar stories on the same topic from Yacin as well[]

Namaste

[Namath]

Ananda!I'm not sure what you mean by "Our decisions no matter how much devoted we are to them... Life will create conditions for us to be shaken.".

do you mean by decision <=> Promise?

Yesterday a little unpleasant incident happened.while my sister was pouring hot boiling tea in a mug,it cracked & caused second degree burn.I was administering first aid for her,the other sister almost fainted from the scene & had to be administered first aid as well.Although I treated the former for shock but she was developing shock symptoms & I was getting concerned she was loosing consciousness.My little niece was present & cried seeing her mom in pain.

the moment her husband & my brother arrived and carried her to the hospital... I felt a little relief.Thanked Allah for the strength and clarity of mind which he gave me & for taking care of my sister .In less than 5 mins after the incident,my niece asked me if I help her studying for her math exam.I looked at her trying to grasp how she shifted from crying mood to studying mood in no time & not sure I felt like teaching in that instance .She looked me straight in the eyes and said "You Promised!".

I heard a voice so clearly saying inside of me "do not break oaths after their confirmation while you have made Allah  your witness.Allah knows what you do."

& So it was .Like the strength that Allah gave me to deal in that emergency situation,I was given strength to teach afterward directly.If it comes to me,I would run away from both situations.

thanx for listening for the boring story <yawning>...But I feel fulfilling promises is a way to be closer to Allah.


Namaste[]

[Ananda]

Decisions and promises... Everything we set up on doing... Especially things related to spiritual sadhana in my case... It's a fight against ones' own self at times... Even when keeping on pushing through the mud for months and years... Others have found their goals from such pushing... Whereas I have failed many many times... I just can't follow through till the end... If there is an end for that matter... I tried staying away from overloading while cutting a lot of practices from my routine and was happy there but I felt ashamed... If Jesus was on the cross and all saints cried nights and suffered hell back and forth... Why shouldn't I suffer also... I did and obviously will again and again until God says other wise... It's just I need to rest now and then... I have went beyond my limits and the result wasn't so good... Overloading is a really serious matter. Allah ysalema la ekhtik.. Salam

[Ananda]

Reading back what I wrote up there... It makes me look like a saint... Whereas I am really far from it... Just like everyone else I have my dark and light spots...

[kami]

Ananda,

Such beauty in your words! Thank you for sharing.

I understand your fervor - it is sort of a desperation, isn't it? Everything turns into spiritual practice in one way or other - absolutely no difference between the mundane and divine. I also understand what you mean by not being able to push through. I have often felt that way.. There has been some alleviation recently from seeing clearly that I am not the doer. Have never been. Can't really say "I" did anything to be here on this path. It is all just happening - going along in whatever design it is meant to go in.

Whenever that "I" comes up ("I" am not making progress, why can't "I" push through,  "I" am overloading..), it is seen like everything else - arising and falling in silence. "I" cannot claim to have any control even on that. Absolutely no ownership. There is nothing that is "mine", neither materially nor spiritually, not the practices, not the experiences, not even the Bhakti  - zero, zilch. When I look for the doer I don't find her. There is only emptiness. And that emptiness is so full, so charged, so vibrant. That must be the love you are talking about?

The ultimate test of surrender to our beloved Ishta is to let go even of this notion of getting "there", wherever that might be (enlightenment?). This unique path, "my" path is really not "my" problem - when He wants to experience Himself as His true nature via this body-mind complex, He will. According to His timeline, not "mine". He is constantly experiencing Himself as all of creation - as Jesus, as Mohammad, as Ananda, as Yogani, as Kami. it is His game. The desperation will also come and go - and it is also His problem.

Much love to you

[Ananda]

Thank you for your wise words dear Kami... They are true... I understand... But I feel deep inside that I should pray and meditate and do spiritual practice as much as possible... Maybe now is the time to tone things down... Or else like what happened a short while back I will end up not doing any practices and be very much involved in overloading... I reached a point where I lost control and was praying to God to quiet things down within me... It was the hardest fight... it felt like there was a monster hidden within me and I've upset it to the extent it came out and showed its' face fully for the first time... I understand that one shouldn't Identify and relax and let go... But sometimes letting go and not identifying could be the hardest thing... I am really lost at words here and its' hard to explain where I am at and what lead me here... Let's just say this is the result of being identified with the doer and the pushing... I should've taken it easy earlier because all my body was resisting but I didn't listen to it... Perhaps I should listen to this also... I simply dried out the yearning within me and even then kept on pushing... Now that I've decided to tone things down... The yearning is very strong again... I should live with it moderately I suppose and not exhaust things as I did earlier... Salam

[Namath]

quote:Originally posted by Ananda

Decisions and promises... Everything we set up on doing... Especially things related to spiritual sadhana in my case... It's a fight against ones' own self at times... Even when keeping on pushing through the mud for months and years... Others have found their goals from such pushing... Whereas I have failed many many times... I just can't follow through till the end... If there is an end for that matter... I tried staying away from overloading while cutting a lot of practices from my routine and was happy there but I felt ashamed... If Jesus was on the cross and all saints cried nights and suffered hell back and forth... Why shouldn't I suffer also... I did and obviously will again and again until God says other wise... It's just I need to rest now and then... I have went beyond my limits and the result wasn't so good... Overloading is a really serious matter. Allah ysalema la ekhtik.. Salam

I can relate to your devotional madness!

Where are you aiming with the pushing? what do you expect the arrival to be like?

How can you be 100% sure that Jesus and saints suffered!Saint Raf2a was in total joy although the body apparently suffered.the body sufferedJesus is the body?Ramana was not concerned about the cancer...They came as a form of God's grace on us.

can't comment on your approach to sadhanas.It's totally between you and your God.

I pray for my Allah to give you patience & strength till you ride all the waves smoothly & safely

Much Love.