Mind involving work/negative effect on Sadhana

[11jono11]

Hello all, quite a long query / post, have summed it up first and then go into more detail later, hope some find whatever suggestions are posted helpful.

In summary (the specific situation is noted below if relevant) my main question is: How should we deal with/accomplish things that are very involving of the mind (primarily things that we don't necassarily enjoy, or that we find difficult, for example an essay on a course that is more of a mandatory formality in opposed to something involving the mind like writing/thinking about philosophy that one would enjoy), BEST without getting over identified with the mind/dream state?

There feels like a tendancy to hold on (in opposed to let go) when performing such task, for example, reading an article "Oh, that's a good reference, that backs up my point perfectly, I better get it written down ASAP before I forget." Or "Yes, that point I just thought is just what I was looking for, I better write it down quick before I loose it".  

Can we trust the mind withouth being proactive in such circumstances, or should we just leave the pure awareness, prior to any thought to write the essay (as an example).

I say this in comparisson to pragmatic activities: just doing the work you have been assigned to do (sure it involves thought, but most of the time this is very minimal compared to that of writing an essay), cooking a meal, chaging a tyre, etc, in which you can just do what is to be done then and there. I am kind of answering my own question here from typing this out, perhaps this could be answered by the very simple solution of one step at a time, just do what needs to be done with the essay bit by bit (though there can be a tendency to get ideas for other elements of academic work before you have finished the one you are on, I guess you would just write down a note of the idea). As advised before (Kirtanman) most of spiritual teachings can be summed up in three words, just let go.  

The situation:

This body mind is currently finishing a degree, it is all making me feel very much like a seperate individual. Last year, when I truly started getting into practices I had finished my essays for the year, in the months that I have not had any written work to do I have experienced lots of opening to truth, generally happier, more content and tend to saturate myself with God, not felt the need to distract myself/indulge in sense pleasures.

A few months ago we started getting assigned essays. Since then I have felt a slow regression into the dream state, occasionally remembering to disidentify, but all the same more identified/or over identified with the body mind and this dream/game.

With practical work I can just do what I am doing, or have to do, easily and mindfully. However, when it is coming to written/academic work, I am experiencing difficulty or there is difficulty being experienced. Additionally, in general I am finding myself getting more involved in old habits of distraction, whereas before the essays I would happily eat pretty much purely sattvic food and seldom want to distract myself with media, lately I have been wanting sweet things and watching a lot of  documentaries, comedy, etc. I am seeming to want to do things/more inclined to do things that before I did not want to do/that are quite sense indulgent. Perhaps it is simply that over-identification with mind is resulting in a lesser witness state.

Perhaps it is because I am using the mind more or all my energy is in my/the head, I don't know but I am finding that currently academic work is having a negative effect on sadhana/being (which ironically I am sure is having a negative effect on the work). Also perhaps it is due to my worry and hope for good grades, that things will not be Ok if I don't get good grades.

I thought and hope that this might be an issue that is relatable to many different people in multifarious circumstances.

Love

[chas]

Hi,

This will be brief, as I am typing on my phone.. You don't have anything to worry about. It is all unfolding perfectly.  If you tell yourself how things should be, you are resisting what is, creating thought loops and judgements about your development and experience. As present moment awareness becomes more primary, you won't need to write things down as often. You may get to a point where you gain understanding of the subject in a much more complete way than wrote type memory. You can then later recall the moments of understanding very quickly and clearly, because you were and are present and aware (this is like what is considered "photographic memory"..).

If you can't recall, you might try posing your question to your mind or silence and wait for an answer while being presently aware of yourself, any thoughts that come up, and of your surroundings.  Contemplating and clarifying your understanding helps as well. For now, I suggest using any methods which are effective for you (jotting things down, memorizing normally).

You can make a present moment awareness practice out of these as well as anything else - washing dishes, changing diapers . When being present, you are still using the mind whenever you need, you just aren't identifying with it and it isn't thinking constantly- and eclipsing the now.

And yeah, when studying a lot, it makes the mind more active. It has been  helpful for me to set a firm intent to "wake up" or become aware as often as possible, regardless of what I happen to be doing.

Be carefull not to judge yourself or get down on yourself for mistakes, thought loops etc.. It all unfolds in it's own time. Self judgement is not necessary and will set you back..

[JDH]

College was one big distraction.  And essays were among the most distracting parts of it.  With the benefit of hindsight, I can say it wasn't for me at all.  I had no concrete career goals which required a degree.  But by the time I realized that, I was nearly done, so I finished

If you're nearly done, you should probably finish it out.  Then look for a career that doesn't require too much reading/writing/computing since that's important for you.

[11jono11]

Thank you Chas, good advice. I guess academic work could be seen as an extreme opportunity for Sadhana, having to use the mind more than ever, though recognizing and reminding the self/yourself of the true nature of the self/reality, that is pure awareness.

JDH, thank you also. Ironically I am looking into years and years more of training , however in subject areas in which I have more knowledge and interest. This may not happen of course but as I said, it's a good test of practice.

Love

[Kirtanman]

Hi Jono & All,

Jono - I think (pun fully intended ) that you'll find that as practices continue, and opening continues, that not only is there less sense of any tension between thinking and awareness-presence, but that natural balance becomes more and more effortless, until eventually, it all just flows.

If you feel more and more caught up in the dream state (thinking, time, ego-self, etc.) - just allow attention to rest in-as presence/awareness.

This is something we can always do; it may be challenging at times, but it's still always possible. The challenge isn't so much in opening-relaxing in awareness, as it is in the sense of thinking "pulling us back" into the dream.

Thinking isn't the dream; attachment to thinking is the dream.



And if thinking is really intense, just put your attention - bring attention "back" to what's aware of the intense thinking.

And if you have a sense of being pulled into thinking, say, while working on an essay, that's fine, too .... thinking/mind does have its uses.

The freedom and power of awareness, though, help thinking to have more power and flow.

For instance, on some level, there's thinking in writing this post, but in experience, it's just typing happening; there's just trust-awareness in the flowing, and therefore no stress, no strain, and no concern about what's said or how it's said.

An essay may or may not require more focus than this, but sense of stress creates the artificiality of the dream in such situations.

We posit a separate self that "must do it right" ... and that separate self simply need not be posited.

When we trust, and let our knowing inform the moment, as informed by awareness .... writing an essay does become much more like changing a tire (aka tyre ).

Openness is the key; if there's not a sense of openness, experiencing openness (presence, awareness) is the key to consciousness flowing freely. In constriction, we're literally damming ourselves ... creating a sense of barrier that isn't needed.

The sweet spot is in the doing, the living -- the allowing ourselves to be lived by this perfect awareness-intelligence we each and all ever actually are, now.

When we feel stressed, we're like a character in a story, dreaming we're being written (by memory, conditioning, evaluation, etc.)

In openness, we're relaxed in the reality of being the author, writing the story, involving the character.

The dream is feeling like part of the story.

Awakening is awakening to our reality as the author, the writing and the story.

Living unbound in human experience is the perfect sweet spot of the joy of writing, right now ... no separate author (or essayist ), no separate story (or essay) - just the perfect meeting of awareness-form in living, right now .... unhindered by any extraneous thinking.

Plenty of thinking may be happening .... but in flowing, it's not extraneous.

Like changing a tire/tyre ... wrenches are turned, tires are removed, new tires are put on ... and hands/mind/etc. just coordinate naturally. Because it's experienced as natural and known, there usually isn't a lot of extra evaluation.

Mental work can be, and becomes the same.

Mind is a sense, and not a self .... and much more like a hand turning a wrench than the dream-self can ever imagine.

Just let go.

Just let flow.

Enjoy the perfection now.

... and I would say "repeat" .... but there's no repeat; in reality, it's always ever new, and always ever living, now.

I hope this is useful.

Wholeheartedly,

Kirtanman

[11jono11]

Thank you Kirtanman, you always flow with such amazing words.

I think (), just like in all areas of life I just need to trust, relax and let stuff happen. Logically no good work ever comes out of stress, but there does tend to be this tendency (in all aspects of life but especially academic for me) to hold, to direct, to tense.

I think Mooji once said intention is to be in-tension. But it is difficult to work on something that you intend to be good without intent , or is it ?

To refer to my recent Samyama request.

 

quote:4)Why the request --Optional: Academic stress, on the 09.03.11 I have an oral exam, on the 07.04.11 I hand in a related essay and on the 19.04.11 I hand in my dissertation. It may sound pedantic but I need good grades as I would like to go on to do further study to do a doctorate (in turn to spread Yoga/Love/Unity), so the next 2 months of my life sort of will effect the next 4 years (feeling a bit of pressure), so some samyama for stress relief, clarity, excellent academic working and if possible, excellent results, would be amazing. Additionally any advice would be great, is it worth me starting/doing samyama for good grades over the next couple of months, how would I put this?

The best thing is always just to let go, this is becoming ever more obvious, I think at the moment these issues are so prevalent as there is a lot of dream investment in their results.

 

quote:Just let go

Just let flow

Love