quote:
Originally posted by whippoorwill
@Chas: The feeling is muscular and energetic. I'll be working along and suddenly notice that my breathing is way off -- restricted and shallow -- like the muscles So I deliberately relax and take a deep breath. Then I go back to working, and I'll notice it again and repeat the process. It happens quite a lot during the day. The energetic component is like a swirling expansion in the solar plexus area, which happens when I feel I've made a terrible mistake, or when things seem out of control or on the verge of getting out of control. I think this whole "me sense" is definitely tied up with issues of control. The energy also activates when people don't bag my groceries the way I like. (I hand them an insulated bag, and they put regular stuff in it and put the frozen stuff in the non-insulated bag. Gaah! )
This all sounds very familiar. The phase when I experienced constriction in the navel overlapped energetic phenomena in the solar plexus much like you describe. There was also oscillating between witnessing and identification.
Fear of no control is an interesting one. In my case, the pattern had been operating for a long time. One example related to working as pilot. The first rule in flying is 'fly the plane'... control, don't lose control (unless the pilot in command takes the controls from you- in that case relinquish control). Be aware. 'You know how to fly the plane'... conditioning does most of the work. The priority is present moment awareness. Same with driving and much else. In aviation, after rule 1, it is more detailed. Navigation, communication, complex environments, planes, systems, regulations, procedures, etc... imagine & memorize every possible scenario and how to deal with them. (Many situations have specific procedures but there are more potential situations than procedures to use.) In theory, if someone has dealt with a situation in the mind before the actual event, if and when it or something similar occurs, he or she will be better prepared and perform better.. I have noticed that to be the case often. Often spontaneous things happen which there is no training for and has not been imagined before. Each year I attend simulator training including intense situations. All in all, after fourteen years of training, I appreciate it and many other types of conditioning very much.
Some conditioning is based on inaccurate information, old procedures or habits... some is only in imagination. I had dreams about dramatic flights, often related to fear of no control... But it was not only related to flying but many other areas of life. In relationships, regarding lack of control over 'my' life, fear related to social conditioning, social stratification, the collective conscious/unconscious or popular stories. All kinds of things to see on the subject.
Fear has a purpose concerned with survival, but it has taken a much more prominent and unnecessary role. Allowing fear and at times a genuine curiosity about it was necessary. It was necessary to penetrate it and see where it came from and why. There can be a fear of fear. I found it better to welcome and be with it. What ever might be occuring mentally, emotionally, energetically, I've found it helpful to allow- be in the allowance that is. Sometimes there can be a tendancy to repress. And not buying into the story, just seeing it and being aware. With other emotions like anger, there can be a tendency to hold on, usually with a feeling/story of justification. & just letting it go. If believed it continues. By returning attention and resting in awareness, not attached or averse, not repressing or holding on, the attention and energy the issue had begins to dissipate, the obstruction attenuated from within. Inquiry/samyama is great as well.
Relative to the discussion, a few of the yoga sutras came to mind... in case it might be of interest to anyone, they are included below. (The whole of the Yoga Sutras is wonderful, highly recommended).
quote:
http://www.swamij.com/yoga-sutras-10104.htm#1.2
1.2
Yoga is the control (nirodhah, regulation, channeling, mastery, integration, coordination, stilling, quieting, setting aside) of the modifications (gross and subtle thought patterns) of the mind field.
(yogash chitta vritti nirodhah)
quote:
http://swamij.com/yoga-sutras-21225.htm#2.17
2.12
Latent impressions that are colored (karmashaya) result from other actions (karmas) that were brought about by colorings (kleshas), and become active and experienced in a current life or a future life.
(klesha-mula karma-ashaya drishta adrishta janma vedaniyah)
2.13
As long as those colorings (kleshas) remains at the root, three consequences are produced: 1) birth, 2) span of life, and 3) experiences in that life.
(sati mule tat vipakah jati ayus bhogah)
2.17
The uniting of the seer (the subject, or experiencer) with the seen (the object, or that which is experienced) is the cause or connection to be avoided.
(drashtri drishyayoh samyogah heya hetuh)
2.22
Although knowable objects cease to exist in relation to one who has experienced their fundamental, formless true nature, the appearance of the knowable objects is not destroyed, for their existence continues to be shared by others who are still observing them in their grosser forms.
(krita-artham prati nashtam api anashtam tat anya sadharanatvat)
quote:
http://www.swamij.com/yoga-sutras-20109.htm
2.5
Ignorance (avidya) is of four types: 1) regarding that which is transient as eternal, 2) mistaking the impure for pure, 3) thinking that which brings misery to bring happiness, and 4) taking that which is not-self to be self.
(antiya ashuchi duhkha anatmasu nitya shuchi sukha atman khyatih avidya)
quote:
http://swamij.com/yoga-sutras-41821.htm
4.18
The activities of the mind are always known by the pure consciousness, because that pure consciousness is superior to, support of, and master over the mind.
(sada jnatah chitta vrittayah tat prabhu purusasya aparinamitvat)
4.19
That mind is not self-illuminating, as it is the object of knowledge and perception by the pure consciousness.
(na tat svabhasam drishyatvat)
4.20
Nor can both the mind and the illuminating process be cognized simultaneously.
(eka-samaye cha ubhaye anavadharanam)
http://www.swamij.com/yoga-sutras-12329.htm
1.23
From a special process of devotion and letting go into the creative source from which we emerged (ishvara pranidhana), the coming of samadhi is imminent.
(ishvara pranidhana va)