Hi everyone,
I've just joined the forum. Great to find it, to read Yogani's lesson's and to read about other people's Kundalini experiences (Agni and emc just read), very valuable to me
My kundalini journey began spontaneously during meditation (over three years ago now, aged 21). I absorbed in to a place of bliss, energy, beauty and wonder. At the time I was ill with ME/Chronic Fatigue, yet after this experience, which felt healing at the deepest level, I was left with so much energy for two weeks. I hardly slept, felt high all the time and was falling in love with my meditation teacher, who I ended up getting together with.
I thought I was cured. After two weeks I came down from the high to a more normal level,but four weeks later after my first term University exams (my secound attempt at University- the first I got ill), I crashed and was even iller than I'd been before. I could hardly get up the stairs the fatigue was so bad, nevermind out the house. I dropped out for the secound time. Soon after this I entered cycles of highs and lows- spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally... I was desperate to be healed, kept surrendering to experiences in meditation and exploring healing in many ways. I got to the point where I felt I didn't exist anymore- completely in an expansive awareness. To the point that my two year deep relationship fell apart, like attachment had disintegrated. After this I was in such an open state, trying to return to work and 'normal' life, yet it all seeming so alien to me. I wanted to disappear in to the emptiness and not have to come back and face my life, indeed it felt I had already died anyway.
I eventually realised I needed to stop meditating, which although transcendental and expansive at the time, was leaving me unable to deal with my life. I felt I was balancing on a fine line between enlightenment and insanity and I wasn't sure which way I was going to fall. It got to the point when I was ready to refer myself to a Psychiatrist and considered that I may need anti-psychotics, yet thankfully my new boyfriend researched my symptoms on the internet and came to me with a pile of information on Kundalini Awakening, I was so relieved to read it all written down, what was happening to me, yet some of the stories made me feel even more concerned about my present state.
Now things look very differently and I am generally positive about life and am generally grateful for the blessings this transformation have given me. I've ended up getting back with my ex-boyfriend which felt like getting back with a part of my soul that I had left behind and I entered expanded consciousness. I'm also really well now and am managing to function in the world, although feel in it, but not of it. I still don't meditate as a result, yet feel I will start a little again soon,
Be good to be in touch with other's undergoing this experience,
All the best to you,
Fran x