I am in love again...

[Shanti]

I had forgotten how it was to fall in love... the little flutter in your heart.. the longing to see your love.. the smile on your face.. the song in your heart...
For the past 2 days I feel like a teenager.. in love for the first time... I am in love.. I am in love with nature...
I have seen the trees outside my house every morning... but suddenly they are so beautiful. Each one is different.. each one has a personality... I did not know there were so many trees in my neighborhood...  and  really.. all these days I saw in 2D... now  I can suddenly see it all 3D.. When I stare at the space between things.. I don't see anything, but my heart skips a beat.. I am out of breath for just a fraction of a second.. I have been walking around with this smile on my face[)].. looking really silly I am sure.. but I cant help it.. I did not know I could fall in love again.. but I have...

[david_obsidian]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!  

  So Shanti,  now do we know,  was that depression you had a few days ago or a mood-swing?  

Shanti said:
For the past 2 days I feel like a teenager..

Congratulations.  Lucky you,  going through adolescence again.

 I think you are onto something good.  A purification process that may be a bit rocky at times,  like adolescence itself.

Surf it.  

[Manipura]

Shanti - I'm so happy for you.  So glad that you've made it to the other side of your depression (or mood swing).  Life's good!  

[Shanti]

Thanks David and Meg... It sure feels great to be out of my previous state.. All it took was to move from living in my head to my heart.. how easy was that.. never thought it was possible...
You are right Meg.. Life is gooooood....

[Etherfish]

I have read from yogis that God can be found in the space between things. . .

[Manipura]

quote:Originally posted by Etherfish

I have read from yogis that God can be found in the space between things. . .

Interesting, Ether.  I've just read an article in today's paper which describes a new study center being built in the Silicon Valley, dedicated to the study of dark matter.  Researchers will devote their talents to understanding the nature of the 'void', which is thought to be some exotic energy, as yet understood, found in the space between things.  I wonder if this is the same energy that's present between events.  This may have nothing to do with what Shanti has just been through, or it may have everything to do with it.  The energy that's present in the dark times of our life is indeed exotic . . . transformative . . . god?

[Alvin Chan]

Congratulations, Shanti. Hope this state is long-lasting for you. But don't feel sad if it doesn't.

I don't think I ever have the nice state you're in now. But sometimes I come close to that--- very occasionally. It's a state where everything is fine, everything problem is easy to solve-- close to no problem at all. It's a question which I have been looking for for years, but still failed to get a clear answer:is there anything I could do to promote that mental state? Or even to stay there without going down again? But I couldn't find any sure way. Certainly a healthy life style (e.g. enough sleep and be happy) is necessary for it, but it's not sufficient. Afterall, a healthy life style can be maintained much easier with that mental state, so cause-effects are interrelated and reinforce each other. But still, I can never stay there for long. Why it always go down again that soon? Yoga seems to help, but it's effects are still too inconsistent for me.

[Etherfish]

Alvin wrote:
"is there anything I could do to promote that mental state?"

yes, Yogananda teaches to view every event in the material world the same, not putting any importance on them whether they be "good" or "bad". Concentrate on your bhakti and practice instead because the world is illusion. This helps promote that state.


Meg wrote:
"dedicated to the study of dark matter. Researchers will devote their talents to understanding the nature of the 'void', which is thought to be some exotic energy, as yet understood, found in the space between things."

Yes, physicists studying dark matter and such (there are several other non-normal types of matter) say "normal" matter is only 4% of whats out there!!

[Katrine]

Alvin wrote:

 

quote:It's a state where everything is fine, everything problem is easy to solve-- close to no problem at all. It's a question which I have been looking for for years, but still failed to get a clear answer:is there anything I could do to promote that mental state? Or even to stay there without going down again?  

Meditate. Regularly.

A mental state does not exist in itself. That is a fiction of imagination. A state of being, however, (more like what Shanti is experiencing as love) will propel you into the moment. It is very human to want to hold on to a positive state like that. However - it is that "holding on" that is the problem. Life is continuous change. The source of life - consciousness - is changeless. Yet, it is an alive changelessness. Anything that flows from it is in change. The instant my mind grasps to hold on, that very instant I lose contact with it.

 

quote:Congratulations, Shanti. Hope this state is long-lasting for you. But don't feel sad if it doesn't.

Alvin. Every time I lose touch with Being I am more than sad. I am in deep grief. I spent many years trying to avoid that grief. Everything I did to escape from it was itself the reason that I lost touch with my source. Meditation is the only tool I know of that trains the mind into accepting any lifechange. Simply because meditation slowly taught me to identify with consciousness rather than its content.  It is, in fact, not possible "to fall away" from nature. It is always here. Everything is it. It is all one.

 Then one day I allowed the grief - much like what Shanti did with her "depression". She accepted it. She stopped telling a story about it (which always perpetuates it). And....svisj (Norwegian)...by letting go, (by experiencing it directly) she dived into the source of all feelings: Consciousness. One of the qualities of consciousness is love. (Correct me if this doesn't fit with your experience, Shanti)

Shanti wrote:
 

quote:I am in love with nature...

Bathe in it, Shanti! Pretty fantastic; isn't it  - to be in your very own love?



May all your Nows be Here

[Jim and His Karma]

quote:
It is very human to want to hold on to a positive state like that. However - it is that "holding on" that is the problem

Yup. Holding on is an illusion, anyway. We have no power to hold on to anything; the universe is ever dynamic, and we have no choice but to relax and be carried along with it, come what may. We can, as I say, relax into it and be carried, or we can fight it and be carried. Either way, we're carried. Might as well stop fighting, grasping, and recoiling from this flow. It's utter futility, and happiness comes at the point of open-hearted acceptance of What Is.

See this: http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/index.php?topic=922

[Manipura]

Pema Chodron writes a lot about leaning into the pain; not pushing it away, but letting it envelope you and be your teacher.  And, as Ether alluded to, there are no 'good' events or 'bad' events - the labels only reflect our preference for pleasure over pain.  All events are created equal!  When we reflect on the events of our life, it's generally (always?) those which were the most difficult to endure which brought us closer to our true selves.

[Jim and His Karma]

quote:Originally posted by meg

Pema Chodron writes a lot about leaning into the pain; not pushing it away, but letting it envelope you and be your teacher.  And, as Ether alluded to, there are no 'good' events or 'bad' events - the labels only reflect our preference for pleasure over pain.  All events are created equal!  When we reflect on the events of our life, it's generally (always?) those which were the most difficult to endure which brought us closer to our true selves.

There are many ways I prefer Buddhism to the Hindu and/or yoga models/approaches. This isn't one of them.  

If you lean into pain, learn from pain, reflect on how pain has helped, etc etc, you're still highly engaged with the pleasure/pain dichotomy. And it's a false dichotomy.

What is, is. The labeling of things that attract and things that repel (good/bad, pleasure/pain, etc) is an overlay that happens after the moment. It's the mind's post-processing of experience.  If you move into the moment, and exist closer to the edge of actual experience (which practices like AYP eventually allow you to do), the very underpinnings disappear, because this post-processing isn't given a chance to occur.

That said, if, along the way, notions like this offer comfort, I'm all for it. But that's all it is - comfort...it's not a "practice", and can't be compared to the greater solution which comes from meditation. It's important to bear in mind that as long as you're "working with" the issue of suffering", you're strengthening the grip of an insubstantial vaporous illusion. Sometimes you've got to do that - to go the wrong way when suffering badly, just to get through the day. If not, I'd suggest letting it go.

[Jim and His Karma]

Meg, I've been doing massive editing on that, but am done now. I know you're "live" online now, so you may want to reread. Sorry for all my neurotic editing!

[Shanti]

Hey Alvin, for the first time in my life, I don't really care if this feeling stays or not. One thing I realized with being hopelessly down, and then high up  like this.. its not in my control what I feel.. The cause of my sorrow I don't know, the cause of my happiness I don't know.. will this stay I don't know.. so I am not going to worry about it any more.
I am just going to flow with it.. never tried that before.. so I am going to give it a try.. The thing that helped me was something small Jim told me.. "try not to live in your head.. bring your awareness to your heart or navel".. I tried it just once.. and I felt different.. now I have been looking at things from my heart.. everything looks different... sort of giving my head a break.. This morning I started reading the book "Power of Now".. surprisingly it tells something similar.. watch your mind.. don't participate in it.. or don't let your mind take over you... live in the present.. if you are walking up the stairs look at the stairs.. each step you take and so on... nice huh? By bringing my awareness to my heart I have stopped thinking the way I generally do.. maybe that has made a difference... It has worked for now.. how long will it stay.. only time will tell.. but right now I am happy .. my meditation is blissful.. I don't see lights inside me.. I don't see my spinal nerve, I don't hear any buzzing, I don't feel any expansion in me.. for the first time I don't care.. I just love "i am".. I just love the peace.. and that is all I want for now.. if anything else follows good.. if not, I will take this as my limit for this life time.. as long as Yogani promises me that this will go with me to my next life time...
Sorry I got carried away.. Yes Katrine..
 

quote:Pretty fantastic; isn't it - to be in your very own love?

It is so much easier being your own love.. so much less demanding[]...
Truthfully, I did not know how beautiful nature really is... I don't know who to thank for putting me here.. Yogani, all of you, God.. well whoever helped me.. Thank YOU.. from my heart[:I]...

[Alvin Chan]

Katrine wrote:
 

quote:A mental state does not exist in itself. That is a fiction of imagination. A state of being, however, (more like what Shanti is experiencing as love) will propel you into the moment. It is very human to want to hold on to a positive state like that. However - it is that "holding on" that is the problem. Life is continuous change. The source of life - consciousness - is changeless. Yet, it is an alive changelessness. Anything that flows from it is in change. The instant my mind grasps to hold on, that very instant I lose contact with it.

I think I got it. Although it doesn't mean that I can DO (or actually, undo) it. Everytime I'm in a "bad" state, I would feel frustrated and confused. I hate those moments. I keep finding ways to create a better state, and yet because I am too attracted to that, that I fail to live my life; that I fail to appreciate what's happening at the moment.

But, I have no control over my frustration and confusion. I just don't know what to do when it happens. What to do at THAT moment.

quote:And, as Ether alluded to, there are no 'good' events or 'bad' events - the labels only reflect our preference for pleasure over pain. All events are created equal!

This is a good reminder. But merely knowing it doesn't change me well. When I feel restless and worry a lot, I just couldn't live well even though I KNOW such feelings are nothing but some stupid signals. My brain would stop working because of the feelings, and then to avoid any feeling of emptiness, I will look for SOMETHING to do. Like reading stupid and meaningless news which I don't really enjoy. My mind refuse to do what has to be done at the moment. I KNOW its trick, though I don't fully understand. And I could not force it to work for me. In fact, the more I force it, the more it refuses to co-operate. More anger and uneasiness build up. And yet, without some displine(for me sometimes it means some forcing, when my mind refuse to work at urgent moment) , aren't we just following our stupid mind and emotions? How to get a balance --- to do our duties and without forcing, when our mind refuse to work? Our future will be shaped by what we do at this moment. How could we let go of everything?

For me, some of my behaviour are really puzzling to me. For example, I would not sleep til very late even though I know it's bad for me. But my mind don't want the day to end. There seems to be "something" to do. And yet there isn't any. My mind just feel something is still missing, and want me to feed it. But I can't communicate with it. I don't know what it want. I try to just FEEL the feelings, but to what end? Feeling it usually doesn't make it disappear..