Anger Management

[ventilator]

My problem is that I get angry on my wife, shout and start losing control when things dont go my way. This has been causing quite some problems in the relationship. I want to express my anger but do not want to lose myself to it or be possessed by it. I feel this behavior is may be due to a deep-rooted judgements inside me (that it's okay to shout on wife, women are lesser than men etc..)

I am practising meditation but it seems to be a long way to go. Any suggestions would be of help

-Ventilator

[faileforever]

Go easy on yourself, be patient:) Sounds like you know what the problem is and are actively working to remedy it, way to go.

[jeff]

Next time you get angry with your wife, try to catch yourself in the act of doing it.  See if you can notice it as it is happening.

Namaste, Jeff

[emc]

Or you could investigate the roots of the anger. It's often a thought or an assumption behind that is not true, or former experiences that has not been seen, loved and accepted which influence our perception of reality.

Before making demands on ourselves to be able to handle the anger itself, we might consider being kind to ourselves and give ourselves a chance to discover the patterns causing the anger. They might dissolve when being seen and accepted, and the anger reaction diminishes...

[tonightsthenight]

emc has given you great advice.

the problem here is with past experience.  you cannot simply control the anger... you may choose how to express it in a way... but the anger is already inside of you.  it expresses itself through you.

you need to find the root cause of the anger and dig it out.  you are holding onto this anger, and it will continue to express itself through you regardless of what tactics you employ to suppress it.