Anthem
quote:
I am all of these things if I believe I am, if I just decide that it is true, but I can’t, I need someone to convince me again
We are not things.....any thing. I will not convince you otherwise, Andrew. On the contrary. Your
belief that
you are, is exactly what stands in your way. You are right - truth "cannot" be decided. That would be adding butter to fat....completely redundant. It just is. Whether you decide to or not. When it is raining....do you desire to believe it is raining? You, don't have too, do you? When it rains it rains. Period. Only
now are we wet from the rain.
So. What you resist is the fact that you are not.
You are not. This is the hole. You resist this hole. But in accepting the space left open...when the clutter of the thought that
you are has dropped.....in this space
I am. See
quote:
What does it take to live and be this truth that I know but can’t feel…
It is rather the other way around, Andrew.
You see....
you still think that you don't know. Be utterly honest...utterly naked....and tell: Do you really know? And if you admit that
you don't know....then how does that make you feel? ......The hole again....yes? Don't fill this hole with beliefs! The belief that you are will never satisfy you. Only the real will fulfill. Only Being.
quote:
I need to realize this, that only I can fulfill me, that it is what I believe and think about me that matters.
Is it?
What if this indicates that
you will never realize this? Who is it that judges? Who is it that keeps telling you what you need or not need to do? Who is talking? Is it not just another "me"?
But listen.....who is it that is aware of your pain, Andrew? Is it a thought? No. It is awareness. Is it not the same one that is aware of your Joy? The same one that is aware that I am sitting here typing these words? With...or without this judgement inside ("I need to so and so....")....with or without this thought
we still shine. Our light is still here. As always. Be quiet and stay with this. Stay with I am. Not the thought. The fact. Just for five seconds.....be still.. .. .
See
At first, it is just nothing. But this nothing is all. Don't take my word for it. Just.....be still. Dare to be empty
now. Right now. What is here all the time is constantly overlooked, simply because we seek it elsewhere.
quote:
I need me, I need me to love me, to want me and to care for me
Do you? Who are saying these things?
Me is itself the very need. It is
me that needs. When
me needs, it looks for love. Let it look. It is ok. But behind
me I am. A shift of focus. Not focusing on the objects in the room....rather see the space itself. Mind (me) cannot grasp it. One can only Be it. See? When
you need....it is always an indication that you have identified with some concept or thought. "Me" is made of concepts and thoughts. That is all it is. So the very thought that you need something - (
and if you identify with this thought to the exclusion of the livingness that is right here ) - is clouding your perception of
what is here. Mind you...the thought can be here....it is ok....just don't identify with it. Identify with stillness instead. Presence.
I wrote somewhere in this forum that "I am not here to save the world, I am here to be myself....and if that's selfish, then so be it".
*laughing*
Selfish indeed! Utterly selfish! Some would say that I should be ashamed of myself. But what good will that shame do? I see the lie, though. Now I see. And in this seeing is the realization that
-
it doesn't matter now! Not one blip of what I do matters!
But oh.......how much more love and fulfillment is here when I discover the following:
I can never
be myself (me)! I cannot have it both ways. I can have the lie (and think myself separate) or
be truth, love, clarity.
I also know what it feels like to look for myself everywhere (first outside and then inside). It is agony! And I am
nowhere to be found! A thought is a thought. It is fleeting. Nothing more. And the paradox: Never can I be lost...because I am already everywhere!
I am. It is so simple!
So...again....I can never be myself. I can only
BeAndrew
You cannot drop your story. Let it unfold. It is perfectly ok.
You cannot drop yourself. See? Let it be. The fact that you long for truth is winding you/me down. Without the longing you would be momentarily satisfied with less than reality. Less than truth. Most people are. You are not. This is a blessing, not a curse. Eventually...you will be still. Longer and longer instances at a time.
Now is always right here. What pulses and throbs through this body right now is already taking care of us....it sustains us....all the time.
Your courage is beautiful!
Keep revealing your secrets
The loving is constant.