Spiritual change and partnership

[Jack]

Boy meets girl.

Boy has long-term relationship with girl.

Girl moves away for various reasons, for two years.

Girl is coming back next month.

Boy is beginning to crack through karma and glimpse the true consciousness.

Boy sees he has, through fear and spiritual ignorance of his own nature, created an 'ego', a facade, bringing to bear his 'acceptable' qualities and hiding his 'unacceptable qualities', thus presenting a shame and fear-based mask to girl based upon pain avoidance.

Boy becomes aware that behind this facade, lies unshakable peace, which is devoid of the ego.

Boy now sees his ego and girl in relationship, and feels threatened and overwhelmed by what might happen if he were to surrender his control and thinking mind into the depths, whilst in her presence.. Boy feels constrained by girl's limited ideas of him as a person, and yearns for deeper freedom.

Boy experiences panic, fear, and strong temptation to ignore spiritual truth and pull back into the secure story, the ego, and muddle on his life as he has.

Boy experiences terrifying knowledge that his life has been miserable all along and will continue to be unless he truly integrates spiritual experiences and values into his life. Boy intuits reincarnation, the ever onwards journey of the soul, and the potential for eternal suffering if he ignores spiritual truth..

Boy is at crossroads. Boy feels he needs to get rid of girl, as girl represents ego and constraint to his mind (is this a trick?) Boy does not see how he can relax into his deeper truth and be at all recognizable to girl. To put it violently, he feels guilty and judges himself a fraud.

Boy comes to online meditation forum and posts about himself in third-person for some bizarre unfathomable reason, hoping somebody can offer him some form of counsel or reassurance on how he can navigate the stormy waters of life, relationship and spirit...

Help him out, will you?

[Dogboy]

quote:
Boy now sees his ego and girl in relationship, and feels threatened and overwhelmed by what might happen if he were to surrender his control and thinking mind into the depths, whilst in her presence.. Boy feels constrained by girl's limited ideas of him as a person, and yearns for deeper freedom.

Boy experiences panic, fear, and strong temptation to ignore spiritual truth and pull back into the secure story, the ego, and muddle on his life as he has.

Boy experiences terrifying knowledge that his life has been miserable all along and will continue to be unless he truly integrates spiritual experiences and values into his life. Boy intuits reincarnation, the ever onwards journey of the soul, and the potential for eternal suffering if he ignores spiritual truth..

Boy is at crossroads. Boy feels he needs to get rid of girl, as girl represents ego and constraint to his mind (is this a trick?) Boy does not see how he can relax into his deeper truth and be at all recognizable to girl. To put it violently, he feels guilty and judges himself a fraud.

Boy should not panic, or make any decision as of yet. Boy is currently in both past and future, and not in the present. Boy should be mindful and grateful for where he is now, and stay the course.

When Girl arrives, Boy should present True Boy, not Fraud Boy of Past. If Girl does not accept True Boy, it is not Boy's problem anymore.  There is the possibility Girl will love True Boy just as he is; there is the possibility Girl has changed too. The situation will unfold on its own, in its own time.  

Edit: wording

[sunyata]

Great response Dogboy[].... ROFL[]

[jusmail]

I second it

[NoDogma]

Question:
It is possible that boy is going through a big transformation which will unfold over a longer period of time. How does the boy make the girl know the process if (assuming) she is not into these paths and doesn't see them worth it ?

Well, in general, people change views quite a bit as they grow, and experience. So girl-boy is based on how things are right now, and future will depend on how they continue to understand each other's changes.

but I keep feeling there is a difference when one of two goes through spiritual transformation and not just his/her view of what kind of job they should do, how much time to spend together or how one should behave with in-laws.

[BlueRaincoat]

I agree with the others.

2 years is a fairly long time. People can change a lot in 2 years, even those who don't do yoga. Take the time to know each other - the people you are today.

It might help if you shifted the focus from yourself to her - try to see the person she is today, through the eyes of the person you are today.

If I came back to a guy after 2 year absence, I would not be offended if he wanted take it slowly. I think I would appreciate him making an effort to know and understand me.

Hope this helps. Good luck!

[Jack]

Thank you

[kumar ul islam]

the gentle love inside your heart will guide you ,sincere prayers are answered.

[AYPadmin]

Ankacitah
Romania
8 Posts

 Posted - Jun 12 2015 :  09:17:09 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Ankacitah's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
I agree. 2 years can be a long time. Maybe there is no more karma between them.
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Dogboy
USA
1547 Posts

 Posted - Jun 12 2015 :  3:45:54 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Curious thing, Ankacitah, I was thinking about this thread on the way to work this morning, and now you have revived it!

So, Jack, it has been a month since Girl has returned. Care to share with us what came of your reunion?

Edit: Girl
Edited by - Dogboy on Jun 12 2015 7:47:18 PM
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Jack
United Kingdom
302 Posts

 Posted - Jul 29 2015 :  04:43:28 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Jack's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
First time I'd been on the "Relationship" part of the forum in a couple of months, and just saw these posts.

It was lovely to have her back. We agreed to be friends. It was amicable, done with respect and love, and I feel I have a very good friend in her. I feel more able to be authentic with her, and have good feelings towards her. All part of a greater unfolding.



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Dogboy
USA
1547 Posts

 Posted - Jul 29 2015 :  06:08:12 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
All part of a greater unfolding.


Amen!