Good evening (sorry for the translation by Google, I am French)
I started to get into practice for the past 8 months, but with a problem to keep things the way I start my practice I stopped for 4 months I have back recently. I come to you for advice in order to defeat the "evil" in me. Actually I've realized through these practices of the person that I am, I was, in this life and certainly several past. I am a psychic vampire, does little to know you not that type of person this term. I am one of those who absorb the energy of those who have a higher vibratory rate than mine to feed off their energy. I'm a very negative, often complain to me and have a continual need for attention on me. I often monopolizes speech, talking loudly, I am very self-centered and often selfish. I feel that most people are quite low feel poorly advantage in my presence. And I'm relatively more often with people who have a high vibratory rate and know more or less push my "attacks" (actually unconscious until now, because I just realize it). My girlfriend with whom I live for the past 3 years (I'm 20) is a person with an extremely high vibratory rate and is strong enough to be always in my presence. It is of compassion and kindness in all respects, loves and helps everyone and people feel perfectly fine with it. She spreads her joy everywhere. Now I understand why I got hooked because I had found the perfect person to draw. Except that now I feel that our relationship is fragile and I start to lose interest in me about her because I managed to weaken it. I am vile, I can not know that I am a person like that. I love him more than anything, despite my love Yet few seem poor. I want to change I can not stand the person I am. I want to love better (and the world at the same time) to stay with her and change my relationship, so I can take it further than it keeps me going. Because at the moment it has often been one-sided. I take him through so dark crannies that are hard drugs, rave and so on. I am also destroy. She had to undergo mental states of me not to follow a "normal" person like big paranoia crisis.
Do you have tips, spiritual practices that would hardly be appropriate for the type of person like me. Of course I know that spiritual practices rely ahead on this site is already complete. But there are, for example, in the case of those blocked at the heart, pranayama of the heart chakra. Would you have this kind of exercises for people like me? Would it be possible to reverse the balance, that is, that instead of drawing the positive energies of the people I draw their negative energies and at that time I make their service, for them and for me, clean my karma so negative. We are in a turning of humanity facing this new cycle begins, and I want to change me more open and spread the good. I want to basically be a good person who does good to others. Soon I should be reclure time away from everyone to get the energy that is in me, instead of that of others. I think I have a huge energy reservoir my kundalini, having never been effectively exploited. When I practice pranayama, I already feel recently (3 weeks recovery) torrents fun ride along my spine when I do well. I know my solar plexus is fully / completely, there is no word, stuck. I like anything that I undertake, I am constantly trying tirelessly. I have no confidence in me and that I have is illusory and collapses. No joy either. My grandfather, who was certainly myself, died at age 62 of cancer of the intestine withering. I want to reverse the balance and also advance my future generations. I come to your aid.
Thank you so much for reading and considering my application I apologize for the length of my mail as well as the errors due to the translation by google translate. I wish you eternal happiness, love and joy.