Hi Anthem,
In the past when I tried breath meditation I would start to think that I was subtly controlling the breath, and would then get fixated on trying not to control the breath, which just makes things worse. Although, I was locating the breath as per instruction (not the instructions here) either in the belly or nostrils; so maybe if I didn't zero in on those locations that problem might not be as bad. My reasoning has also been that if I can't do DM comfortably, I may as well do my attention on Ajna practice, as I can do as much of that as I want, it brings some positive results, and I can do spinal breathing also, which I can't with DM. I was doing a combined practice for a while, where I would look upwards and focus at the point between the eybrows, and at the same time there would be an awareness of the breath repeating "hong sau" or another mantra or word. Since the sole focus wasn't on the breath, the concern didn't arise as to whether I was controlling it or not...but anyway, maybe I'll give just breath awareness a try as my sitting practice.
By ojas I was referring to sexual expenditure of the pranic reserve, which I guess isn't necessarily ojas until it gets converted.
Whether or not suffering can lead to a breakthough, I certainly haven't been able or willing to stay with it for very long. That was a nice video and I see the point you are making that if one is too focused on the goal, and suffering the whole time trying to get there, then they'll miss out on enjoying the ride.
Hi Near,
I hope that quote is true.
I was doing okay for a while (probably on the edge even then) and wanted to add even more time, so I was kind of unwilling to decrease time, which got me into trouble. It seems counter-logical that less time can be better, but I guess I'll have to accept that that might be the way to go.