Can no longer meditate or do any practices

[AumNaturel]

Please do keep us posted to any new developments. Such insight is valuable to us in the 'beginners to ayp' lot. With that kind of background in terms of momentum, energy awakenings, and improvements to quality of life, from my perspective it seems everything has been going well for you despite the current ongoing overloads.

This sort of experience seems to reinforce the notion I came across in the recent support forums book about approaching yoga from the doing while letting go of doing perspective, a concept also mirrored in ancient taoist alchemical texts. In light of your experience, I can't help but wonder if perhaps taking on this suggestion at an early stage of practice might help filter out the overloads carried over by the momentum while preserving the benefits you are clearly experiencing.

In my limited experience, this guideline, along with the solar centering enhancement, seem to have relieved the persistent light pressure in my head for at least a few weeks now, a symptom I've come across before in a more acute form in another practice prior to switching to ayp.

thank you for sharing

[Ananda]

It seems I am getting along with breath meditation... But I am using it for a very short time and when the ecstasy starts to pop up I stop...

Salam

[jeff]

Ananda,

Why are you stopping when the ecstasy starts?  

Ride the wave...

[Ananda]

When I used to meditate using the mantra for a specific amount of time, inner clock used to alarm me by sending big waves of ecstasy... This is the reason I am using it now also and it's turning out to be safe.

Now Light and ecstasy are present all throughout the day on and off... Plus I could create them waves of ecstasy and flows of bliss whenever I want (I've found the heart cave...) But the sad thing is that I always end up overloading big time...

Love,
Ananda

[AumNaturel]

The reply here was insightful to the variations that can be expected along the way. From that point of view, the experience of the original poster is less an effect of 'AYP practice' and more of 'this is how my approach to AYP has turned out for me'. AYP might be one standardized set of instructions, but along with that are also many guidelines and personal elements (inner guidance at every step, bhakti, etc.) that as a beginner I'm starting to realize may form a very large part in how they turn out, on top of the 'unique matrix of obstructions.'

[Ananda]

It's true what you said, thank you for sharing this old post[]

[Yonatan]

Hi Anthem

It is interesting I am seeing this post right now. For the last couple of months 3-4 I think, I have done almost no practices, a few sittings here and there, some self-inquiry (which, before this period began, I did tons, lots and lots...), which is also beginning to stop. Well this time there were just so many changes in my life biologically, mentally, emotionally, big letting-go's (people passing away). So practices didn't suit me, I just knew I wouldn't be able to practice (and it might cause an even bigger stir, whereas just being with it all in a gentle way was, for me, the best thing this time).

So I can really relate. (also like you, before this period besides tons of self inquiry, and watching youtubes of spiritual teachers like mooji tolle and adya, my sitting practice, though I did it once a day, was almost every day for 1 year and 7-8 months, without missing).

It feels right there are some good overall changes, and I will not "stop" practice .

If I need to practice then I would! And if there needs to be another period of 1-2 years of practices, there will be I'm trusting what is happening!

[Anthem]

quote:The reply here was insightful to the variations that can be expected along the way. From that point of view, the experience of the original poster is less an effect of 'AYP practice' and more of 'this is how my approach to AYP has turned out for me'. AYP might be one standardized set of instructions, but along with that are also many guidelines and personal elements (inner guidance at every step, bhakti, etc.) that as a beginner I'm starting to realize may form a very large part in how they turn out, on top of the 'unique matrix of obstructions.'

Hi Aumnaturel,

Yes and not only does a practitioner's approach to AYP impact their path, so do all the other practices taken on in addition to the core AYP practices. This would include inquiry and other daily practices that are additive. This mixed with our unique individual "matrix of obstructions", as you point out, makes for some interesting outcomes no doubt.

Hi Yonatan,

Sounds like you have a good handle on self-pacing, it has not come so easy for me.

A little follow-up:

It has been 3 and a half months so far with no formal sitting practices.   Meditation has been attempted on a couple of occasions to see if there has been any change to the sensitivity, so far it still leads to overload quickly.

Having recently been at my second Ontario retreat over the same time frame, it has been interesting to still have a wonderfully expanding experience despite not really engaging in practices.

My routine at the retreat has been to perhaps engage in a minute or two of either the alternate nostril breathing and/or the meditation, then to simply sit with eyes downcast as the others practice. The result, due to the power of the group meditation, has been to still experience deep absorption, despite not engaging in the practices.

There has been a lot of opening over the last few months. Despite not formally doing any sitting practicing, the inner landscape continues to change and reveal itself and the quality of life continues to improve.

[bewell]

quote:Originally posted by Anthem11
Having recently been at my second Ontario retreat over the same time frame, it has been interesting to still have a wonderfully expanding experience despite not really engaging in practices.

My routine at the retreat has been to perhaps engage in a minute or two of either the alternate nostril breathing and/or the meditation, then to simply sit with eyes downcast as the others practice. The result, due to the power of the group meditation, has been to still experience deep absorption, despite not engaging in the practices.

Hi Anthem,

Your approach to practices at the retreat is very, very understandable from where I sit.  Although I am still doing my AYPs daily solo, when I sit with others (who are not into AYP), which is at least twice a week, I do pretty much was you describe.

On another note, I was recalling your description of "malaise" and recently, I felt it, or a version of it.  It was kind of an "ugh" feeling in my core when I awoke one morning after a lot of inner pleasure the night before.  It has not been persistent, but I am glad I felt it, partly because I wanted to have empathy for what you are experiencing.

Peace

[Ananda]

Some quick feedback from here also[:I]

I've been still trying: Resting for a week, then one week of spinal breathing alone... But that have lead to a few overloading symptoms in the end... So I gave it a rest... Until yesterday, I tried five minutes of DM morning and evening... The sittings were really deep, but overloading again with some pretty violent dreams. I'd love to practice and meditate but apparently the price is high... So no more practices for me, at least for now... Anyways as what is happening with you brother Anthem, opening is happening naturally inside without practices...

Peace

[Nathan]

I recently gave up my DM practice because of difficulties I was having, although this was after only three months of 10 min twice daily. I was feeling weighed down, was over sensitive, especially to noise, had intermittent irritability, and was feeling desperate at times.

I actually was thinking of creating a thread to see if there were any ex-oversensitive meditators, or people you were having to self-pace a lot, but eventually were able to do the full time amounts, and it's interesting that the opposite seems to be happening.  

I may pick up the practice again, making sure not to let the negative symptoms reach that degree again.

Part of my downfall may have been due to not doing a good job of conserving the ojas. I wonder if this is a primary reason other men are having to cut down (not making any judgments).

My big question is: what would happen if a person went ahead despite persistent suffering? Would there eventually be a big breakthrough? I can't imagine that the negative symptoms could go on forever.

[Anthem]

Hi Ananda,

Maybe we should start a club then!?![] It's been 5 months now, no change here, still no practicing "allowed" either. Learning continues forever onwards.

Hi Nathan,

Have you tried breath meditation or mindfulness meditation as an alternative, if DM isn't working for you?

What do you men by "ojas"?

In regards to your big question, I personally wouldn't be looking for any big breakthrough and certainly not by enduring any suffering from practices. Suffering from practices speaks to me of imbalance. Too much of a good thing is still too much.

This video I recently saw comes to mind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29atSZKbmS4&feature=player_embedded

[Ananda]

[nearoanoke]

Hi Nathan,

As Yogani says, "Suffering/Pain is not a pre-requisite for enlightenment".

The whole concept of self-pacing is that. Adjust your practices so that you continue with no pain and continue making progress. We dont need to continue in suffering. Enlightenment doesn't ask us to do that

- Near

[jeff]

quote:Originally posted by Anthem11


What do you men by "ojas"?

Anthem,

Ojas is part of the Nectar cycle.  Ojas seems to effect the brain by supporting higher thinking or insights.  It actually feels like a "higher" gear. A few times, I have been convinced that a drop of it has come out of the top of my head and rolled down my hair.

A random question about your not being able to practice... Do you still feel anger?

Thanks, Jeff