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Author Topic: Low desire  (Read 973 times)

Ecdyonurus

  • Posts: 389
Low desire
« on: February 16, 2015, 07:43:03 PM »
Hi, I have been doing AYP for a little more than a year, very very regular, two sessions a day like clockwork. My current routine is first asana, then 5‘ SBP, 20‘ DM, 10‘ rest (the asana routine duration varies according to daily schedule). I would call my practice stable and regular.

My problem is that my desire for practices is becoming very low, and I strongly believe that this has to do with the troubles I am currently experiencing in my family (dont’t want to elaborate on those familiy troubles here). My feeling is that the overall bad mood and high stress level in the family has a negative impact on my practices. This is disappointing because, actually, I expected my practices to be even more useful/supporting during hard times. But, no, this is not happening here : life became hard, my desire for practices is fading, and practices became unpleasant and even seem pointless to me. I didn’t stop practicing until now because those AYP sessions have become a habit and a part of my daily schedule. But my feeling is that I could also decide to stop everything.

I am sure that other members of this community already experienced similar situations, so I would really appreciate your advice. Should I take a break ? Reduce the practice time ? Or just go on with the same practice?

Thank you in advance. [3]
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BlueRaincoat

  • Posts: 757
Low desire
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2015, 09:58:22 PM »
Hi Ecdyonurus

Sorry to hear about your family troubles.
I couldn't really make a suggestion about your practice or practice time. I think that answer is inside you somewhere.

Have you tried asking for help through these difficult time? I'm speaking as somebody who used to be very poor at witnessing suffering in others . I would just crumble on the inside. But at some point I found a way to stay strong when seeing others in distress. What I do is place my awareness in the third eye and visualise something like light/energy coming through there. I would see myself as lightning rod, conducing that light and spreading it around. It seems to work. What is certain is that I can stay strong. At least I no longer run away and I can stay connected with others, listening and supporting, while they are suffering.

Maybe something along these lines could work for you?

Praying for better times to come for you and your family. [/\]
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Charliedog

  • Posts: 536
  • Be the change
    • Marjoleine Diemel
Low desire
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2015, 10:13:04 PM »
Hi Edyonurus,

I am very sorry to hear from your difficulties in family at this moment. My own experience is that it is worth to go on with your practice.... I know it can be challenging in hard times because it seems that your problems and thoughts about it come to you so extra deeply in meditation time. Surrendering to my deepest pain during meditation and ask what to do, helped me. I know it sounds strange but in my deepest pain, and surrendering to that pain there came so much love and healing to me that it changed my perspective completely. It seems that I had to go so deep, before I really could surrender. But it was worth it and I am sure that it not happened if I did not had done my practice. In my deepest pain I received the insights I needed....

I wish you that healing and love too.

[/\] [3]
« Last Edit: February 16, 2015, 10:28:35 PM by Charliedog »
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Dogboy

  • Posts: 718
Low desire
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2015, 10:27:51 PM »
Hello Ecdyonurus my friend,

So sorry to hear of your troubles, especially concerning family.

It would be easy to drop practice, especially when you are having difficulty mustering enthusiasm for it. IMHO now is not the time to quit. Your practice can be a venue to "be" with this trouble in self inquiry, to offer it to the silence as see what distills from that. Samyama can be a practice of healing, of mingling with the divine, a place to experience "who am I?" In a real and tangible way. You deserve these twice daily island of refuge to carry yourself through the suffering.

I recall you mentioning you have a history of depression and this could be acting on your thought process regarding practice and the troubles you are experiencing. As it doesn't sound as if you are overloading (and adding to your troubles) I encourage you to continue, if for nothing else, to maintain routine in uncertainty.

Keep your chin up, my friend.  I will keep you in my samyama [:)]. [3].
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jusmail

  • Posts: 67
Low desire
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2015, 11:38:31 PM »
Edyonurus,

Keep up the practices. All of us have lessons to learn on this journey on earth. Some have issues with family, others with health, yet some others with job/money. Some with love/relationships. You name it, and people are struggling with those issues. Yet, we all march on wishing the next day would be brighter than the previous day.

Ask God for strength through the trying times
The prayer
Feeling thy presence,
feeling thy grace
feeling thy radiance
you are my source   of faith and strength
you are my path and destination
and I am always connected to you
nothing of me, everything of you
lead me higher, lead me deeper
lead me beyond, lead me to you
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Bodhi Tree

  • Posts: 1957
    • http://www.codyrickett.com
Low desire
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2015, 12:40:13 AM »
Reach beyond your family. Get out into the community and find your niche. The whole purpose of practices is to live life fully. I had to be reminded of this early on, when I put practices on a pedestal. You have special talents and qualities of character--give them to the world! [:D]

Some members of my family have to be avoided. Others are more in line with my enlightenment quest. I've learned to let go of what I can't control, and to focus on what I can (The Serenity Prayer).

You can do it! This life's for us! It's all a gift! [8D]
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Ecdyonurus

  • Posts: 389
Low desire
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2015, 05:01:12 AM »
Hi all, thank you so much for your kind support!!

Not able to write a complete answer now because I have to look after my family (feels like a war field again here...) but will b back asap on this thread.

[3]
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SeySorciere

  • Posts: 828
Low desire
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2015, 05:22:49 PM »
Perfect opportunity for practice of surrendering.
Surrender, surrender, surrender... And feed your Bhakti


[/\]

Sey
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pkj

  • Posts: 141
Low desire
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2015, 03:27:21 AM »
Hi

Everybody goes through these lows in the life. One thing is DM and SB in this case definitely helps. One more thing is to surrender.
Also serving others gives lot of bliss and happiness. It returns in manifold when we serve others that is what i have experienced. I will pray for you in meditation.

Blessings

PKJ
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Ecdyonurus

  • Posts: 389
Low desire
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2015, 06:01:17 AM »
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat

I think that answer is inside you somewhere.
Praying for better times to come for you and your family. [/\]


Hi BlueRaincoat, after reading the answers from you and the other community members to my opening post, I thing you were right when you wrote that the answer is in me somewhere:  by asking on the AYP forum if I should reduce or stop practices, I actually called for support from fellow AYPers to help me keep up my practices. The next time I think SERIOUSLY about quitting AYP practices, I will post my doubts on another forum... [:)]
I really appreciate your prayer. [3]
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Ecdyonurus

  • Posts: 389
Low desire
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2015, 06:08:32 AM »
quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog



I know it can be challenging in hard times because it seems that your problems and thoughts about it come to you so extra deeply in meditation time.

[3]


Hi Charliedog, this is not really the way I experienced my practices: the current family problems are not so disturbing during the sits. It's more that I have to force myself to go on the mat/cushion to do my practices. So it like if my life was trying to keep me away from yoga practices. Don't know what this means.
Thank you for your beautyful answer. [3]
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Ecdyonurus

  • Posts: 389
Low desire
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2015, 06:18:32 AM »
quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy


I recall you mentioning you have a history of depression and this could be acting on your thought process regarding practice and the troubles you are experiencing. As it doesn't sound as if you are overloading (and adding to your troubles) I encourage you to continue, if for nothing else, to maintain routine in uncertainty.
Keep your chin up, my friend.  I will keep you in my samyama [:)]. [3].


Hi Dogboy,
You may be right about my depression history and its impact on my current situation, although I don't feel depressed (I would say that I am worried and scared about the things that are happening in my family, not depressed). Maybe I have a tendency to negative thinking as a heritage from those depression years.
You certainly made a good point when you say that overload would be the (only) good reason to reduce the practices, which is not the case here.
Thank you for keeping me up in your samyama! [3]
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Ecdyonurus

  • Posts: 389
Low desire
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2015, 06:20:08 AM »
quote:
Originally posted by jusmail



Ask God for strength through the trying times
The prayer
Feeling thy presence,
feeling thy grace
feeling thy radiance
you are my source   of faith and strength
you are my path and destination
and I am always connected to you
nothing of me, everything of you
lead me higher, lead me deeper
lead me beyond, lead me to you


Hi Jusmail, just beautyful - tank you so much! [3]
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Ecdyonurus

  • Posts: 389
Low desire
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2015, 06:26:46 AM »
quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree

Reach beyond your family. Get out into the community and find your niche.


Hi Bodhi Tree, I am very impressed by your statement because it is something that I would expect only from a person who knows me well (let's say a good friend, if I had one). Something in me says that you are completely right: I have to get out and find that niche. Thank you! [3]
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Ecdyonurus

  • Posts: 389
Low desire
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2015, 06:33:56 AM »
quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere

Perfect opportunity for practice of surrendering.


Hi Sey, you gave me a new point of view on my current problems. My intuition says that you are right... [:)]

[3]
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