1118 From: "Rasa Von Werder" <rasa@womanthouartgod.com>
Date: Sun Jun 26, 2005 4:12pm
Subject: SECRET DOOR TO HEAVEN rasavonwerder
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CELIBACY - A SECRET DOOR TO HEAVEN
PART I BY RASA VON WERDER
Now we come to one of my favorite - albeit counfounded - topics - one
which few people understand. That is why I must speak, because so
little is said about it and that which is said is repressive rather
than enlightening. It is the "Just say no to sex" that makes sex sound
like an illegal drug that must be avoided at all costs, and with
little or no explanation of what the goal of celibacy really is, makes
people afraid of sex, but at the same times, does not help them to get
over it and reach the Nirvana of celibacy - and there you have it: a
world of confusion and hypocracy.
Celibacy sounds, to most people, like a bad diet. You think of
deprivation and hunger and want. Here you are giving up something with
much benefits - something you don't think you can live without. And no
one is teaching you anything but just say no. Just stop. Just take a
vow and cut it out. Sex itself is a center of our society, but it is
spoken about with humor or snickers, never in that great positive
light that each person seeks sex for. For sex is not seen as an evil
to the indidivual. It contains within it the promise of all that is
good, and should not be, the individual reasons, either repressed,
laughed at or perverted. There must be a healthy, sane, decent
application of sex. Then why isn't society addressing it that way?
This is part of the complication of culture. The answer to the
question of why sex is so maligned is Patriarchy. In Matriarchy, sex
was not evil. In Patriarchy, sex is used to control women, and
therefore it is maligned. The proscriptions against sex are mostly
used against women (but also homosexuals) in order to judge and
condemn women; to have the liberty of calling women sluts, whores,
nymphomaniacs and red-lettered adulturesses. In this double standard
men are virile and have a lust for life when doing the exact same
things. Only recently - in about the last twenty five years or so,
(since 1979, when a Manhattan Beach child care center was accused of
abuse, starting the whole child-abuse discovery revolution) have men
actively been prosecuted for sex crimes.
That first issue - repression and the double standard - is confusing
the whole idea of celibacy. On the side of the "sex is natural"
argument, people are trying to remove repression, double standard and
mockery of sex. That is well and good. A big hand for freedom of good
and natural sex. It is as Matriarchy would have it. But please hear me
- THAT IS NOT THE ISSUE WE ARE ADDRESSING HERE.
The topic at hand is the path of mystical theology, the land of the
saints. It has been spoken of as asceticism and death to self. This
death to self, this denial of the flesh, is a two-sided coin or
double-edged sword. On the one hand, it is an ending, but on the other
it is a beginning. It is like darkness and light. Light follows
darkness, there is no mistake. In the spiritual life, light also
follows the dark night of the soul. Dark night - which I have spoken
of time and time again - is a necessary part of spiritual life. It
cannot be avoided. I attribute dark night to the time of actual
spiritual growth - although the victim feels none of it at the time -
but after the dark night, you see the results of the growth. The
recipient of dark night sees it as a negative, a temporary
chastisement from God and loss of God. When the light returns, the
punishment is at an end, and relief is at hand. The soul rejoices. The
soul usually does not see dark night as a gift, but rather, some
negative thing, probably caused by one's transgressions, at best, the
grace of reparation for sin for other souls. So dark night is a
hardship to be borne but not something anyone yearns for.
I urge the listener to take another look at the dark night of the soul
and all it entails. I preach that something good is happening here,
albeit in the unconscious. You must have faith that when the light
returns, you will see the result of the dark night. The dark night is
not a negative, but an absolute positive to the spiritual life. For an
example, the greatest Dark Night ever told was the story of Our Lord
Jesus Christ, from the night in Gethsemane to the " My God, Into Thy
Hands I Commend My Spirit" words that He spoke. Was not His Dark Night
the Apex, the Climax, the Grandest moment of our deliverance? Without
it, would not His life seem incomplete? It is this fitting climax
which tells the whole story. He gave all, he lost all, and He found
all for himself and us.
Now we come to the teachings of every saint who ever lived. The
greatest saints had the greatest sacrifices and pains. They suffered,
and they strove to achieve that death to self. And they had terrible
dark nights of the soul. Every biography of every saint tells the same
tale. The greater the saint, the greater the deprivations and
conversely, the mystical experiences. Can you see the connection here?
Granted, I will admit to this: Not everyone can travel this path.
There are souls who will march to Hell down the broad highway where
most go. There are souls who will coast through spirituality lukewarm
and passive, their spiritual life sporadic and meaningless. Perhaps by
the skin of their teeth, through someone's prayers, they will make it
to heaven into the lowest place. There are others who do not lose
their souls, but have to live again and again before they can even
think of final repose in the glories of heaven. However that works,
even the smallest degrees of sainthood are not for everyone.
But here, I am not speaking to these. I am speaking to you who hunger
for enlightenment, and thirst for Truth. You are of God and for God,
and you cannot rest till you find Her. You follow the beat of another
drummer, and I will say whatever I have to encourage, shame, and force
you to take a look at yourself and decide what you have to do to gain
the Kingdom of Heaven. So in this article let us forget the
not-ready-for-prime-time-players and concentrate on you, who are
headed for holiness.
In life, all motivation is with the stick and the carrot, the
punishment and the reward. Now I will help you rethink death to self
in general and celibacy in particular. As I said before, society
mostly talks about the stick. You've heard enough of the stick, in
terms of diseases, lack of respect for women, rules of religion. That
goes on hypocritically every day, and we are all sick of it. I will
speak of the downside of sex but from a very different angle, the
spiritual one. But first, the rewards.
THE REWARDS OF CELIBACY & DEATH TO SELF
The human creature is composed of two elements, the physical and the
spiritual. The spiritual may not be active in each person, but when it
is active, the following is true: Spiritual acumen is different from
wordly acumen. Since the spirit world or metaphysical is unseen and
unheard it cannot be measured and understood in an ordinary way.
Therefore, how is it perceived and understood? How does anyone know
what is going on in the non-physical reality? How could all scriptures
have been written, where countless people are communicating with
"God," listening to God, hearing the rules and admonitions of God,
hearing God's answer to prayer and rebukes? How could saints like
Thomas of Aquinas figure out what types of angels there are, and what
kind of sections they are in, like choirs and seraphs and so on? How
could anyone figure out what is the Holy Trinity, and who saw the
Angel Gabriel speaking to Mary about being pregnant with the unseen
Holy Spirit? The entire Bible and all scriptures of all religions have
to do with the unseen and the unknown, and so, how is this seen and
become known?
Have I made it clear that there are two sets of seeing, and
understanding and perception of reality - and they are the physical
and the spiritual? Then my simple answer to the above is that physical
is seen with physical faculties, and spiritual with spiritual
faculties. Now what are the spiritual faculties? They are the
following, first: INTERIOR SENSES, which is seeing, tasting, feeling,
smelling and hearing the metaphysical. Second there are the Gifts of
the Holy Spirit. Most notable, those that deal with knowledge,
understanding and wisdom. Through these three Gifts, a person
perceives the other side in a variety of ways. There is teleportation,
for instance. (Not bilocation, which is fairly common and does not
require holiness.) I myself have teleported to Purgatory and Heaven,
which are miracles of the Holy Spirit. (I have never been to Hell
although I have had visions of it and dreams, and have had my share of
hell on earth.) There is the ability to see the inside of the souls of
others on earth, and to know the secrets of their hearts and minds.
This is like looking into the "hard drive" of a computer, or the
inside of a person's soul. This is a great gift of the Holy Spirit
which I have. There is the gift of seeing things of the past and of
the future, and this could come under the heading of "prophecy" or
"word of knowledge" or "knowledge" or "understanding" or "wisdom,"
depending on how you interpret the Gifts.
Who has these Gifts? Who has interior faculties that work? Who has
Consciousness?
I assure you, right now, that those who follow the world and the flesh
do not have them, but those who pray and practice death to self or
death to one's dependence on the world and flesh develop these
faculties and receive these gifts.
Now it follows then, that the person who does not have these abilities
will not understand them. And such a person will be attached to the
things of the world and the flesh and live in that world in their
consciousness. This lower consciousness can be defined in a number of
ways. Yogis call it delusion, and delusion it is. I will also refer to
it as the world of the shallow and also the world of ice, snow and cold.
So now, be aware of the two worlds: the Kingdom of God and the
World/Flesh Domain - two opposing realms (except in miracle vision
where the two become one, the way God sees it.) Now to be absorbed in
God is to be abstracted from the world/flesh, and to be sunk into the
world/flesh is to be absent from God.
(Don't oppose me on this statement but just bear with me.) It is true
that when a person wants to join with God they leave all things
behind, and they work on this more and more diligently until all
things pass away for them, and then their ego, and then, there is
nothing left between them and God, and the two become one. I went
through this in January, February, March 1982. Unfortunately, you
cannot stay in this place forever. The world/flesh comes back - the
consciousness of it. Now in the case of myself and those who are
enlightened, this sense of world/flesh can pull you down and deceive
you to some degree. To beginners and those who are not yet enlightened
- to a great degree. Like cataracts which ever so slowly block out
more and more light, a person sinking into the flesh consciousness
notices nothing until God is not there. Then he or she blames God for
being absent, but it is you, not God, that is at fault. Of course, in
the dark night God allows it, but here we speak of darkness that comes
not by grace, but absorption in earthly things.
One of the easiest and quickest ways to fall into the lower
consciousness is through physical attraction to another person or the
idea of sex/lust of itself. I noticed right away that the devotees are
"falling" by sex - or interest in sex, through that process we call
romantic love or infatuation, or the promise of what earthly love
brings. This is truly the linchpin of mystical attainment or lack
thereof. The men I have are falling by the wayside through sex. Either
they cannot bear the thought of giving up sex, or they know they
should be celibate and want to be, but they are so hysterical at the
thought of giving it up they walk away from the calling.
WHAT TO DO ABOUT SEX
My advice to all those who want to devote themselves to God and myself
completely is not to even think about the vow of celibacy yet. Take
temporary vows - to yourself - of how long you can stand. I did it for
years, one year at a time, then off the wagon. Then again, two years,
then one year later. This went on and off for about ten years before
Our Holy Mother appeared to me and asked me to take the vow. She gave
me the grace to keep it. Was it easy? It was painful, but decreasingly
so. I ask the devotees to follow my path. Struggle for a long time and
pray. Then wait for the Feminine Divine to appear to you and suggest
taking the vow. That means it is time. When you are with me, of your
own free will, you are not on a permanent vow. You try and keep
celibacy, but if you cannot, it is not a mortal sin. You have not
broken a vow to God, only your own discipline. This will keep the
anxiety from overtaking you.
THE DEVIL WILL ATTACK WHEN YOU ANTICIPATE CELIBACY
Here is how the devil works. As long as you are living a normal life,
he usually leaves you alone. But the moment you undertake grand
things, one of which is celibacy, you stir him up. You also awaken
your own anxiety. The devil will quickly use your anxiety to show you
how terrible it will be as a celibate. He will paint a dreary picture
of all the love, romance and fun you will lose. You will be lonely,
alone, without intimacy and companionship. He will stir you up so
badly that you will be ready to run to a brothel and spend your life
savings on a binge.
I like what Oscar Wilde said, "I can resist anything but temptation."
This is why the dispensation I am giving you - my devotees - of ten
years of struggle before the final vow. Here you will allay your
anxiety and get prepared for the final decision. We don't want you to
take a vow you cannot keep. Then you would hate yourself and feel you
have failed. What a blow to your self esteem that would be!
Here is what a person thinks they are losing - and sometimes do. What
you must bear in mind is that for everything that you lose - GOD WILL
REPLACE IT WITH SOMETHING BETTER, HIGHER AND MORE BEAUTIFUL. But in
the beginning, you don't see that. (Yes, in some cases, grace comes
strongly and it blows out any need for sex for a long time. This
happened to me when I went deeply into yoga at times. I scarcely
thought of sex when grace was that strong. It simply replaced the need
for it. But that strong grace eventually leaves, and the flesh
returns.) Most times you do not see the ecstasy God will bring when
the sex drive goes away, when everything of the world dims. All you
think of is the loss. This is how it goes:
"I will lose the intimacy. I will not be able to bond, to find
consolation from the mind, heart and body of another person. I long to
feel wanted, to belong. I long to be accepted. How can I cut myself
off from love? Love nourishes me, it comforts me. I will give up all
chances for that. I will be all alone, with my hand. My hand isn't
going to make me feel accepted and loved. I will feel unwanted. How
can I bear this?"
It is true that even the very sex act itself - without love or
intimacy - conjures up the "feel good" hormones. Just banging away,
with a stranger, or masturbating, does have physical/emotional/mental
benefits. This cannot be denied and it would be foolish to do so.
But I must admit, that the sex drive is also torture. It is the
torture of a need that surfaces again, and again. The need says, "I
must have orgasm." This need confuses the mind, as all such needs make
the mind lower itself to them, and thinking changes. So that a person
starts to make excuses around that need: "I love God, and this does
not interfere with God." (Yet you have no idea how much closer you
will come to God when your sex drive diminishes.)
About excuses people make when they have needs and addictions. A
friend of mine has been saying for years, "I can give up smoking if I
want to. But I don't want to."
He's been smoking for over forty years. Then people say they can "take
or leave sex," yet they are doing it regularly. They do not realyze
how attached they are to their partner - be it wife or girlfriend.
They don't notice any pain because the need is always satisfied. This
very same person would see how needy they are if their mate left them.
Frequently we center our lives around our needs - otherwise we could
not fulfill those needs. If you need a drug, life revolves around it.
If you have a great habit, life has to be shoved here and there to
make allowance for it. Sex is like that. Without realizing it, the
need to fill that sex drive with a partner will touch much of your
life. Your time, attention, spending, mental, physical and emotional
energy and focus. All this does take away from the pursuit and the
love of God. I know there will be many objections here concerning the
need for marriage and the greatness of it. Marriage is a bit
complicated. Marriage might be a good thing, in some cases. But for
me, marriage meant sex, and sex was a stumbling block. I no longer
wanted to indulge in it. I had gotten it out of my system and did not
want my system to awaken the need. Luckily, my husband respected me
and did not push for sex. In fact, he feared offending God as much as
I did, and told me that companionship was the most important part of
our relationship.
I learned that when I gave up sex, all the things that I yearned for,
in the flesh, by having sex, were given to me by God. To be perfectly
honest, sex itself usually held great promise, but in the end, brought
dissapointment and pain. You imagine all sorts of love. For women,
it's the Knight in Shining Armor, Sir Galahad. The Hero types only
appeared AFTER I became celibate! The selfish, lower nature men
surrounded me when I was doing sex, each waiting to be chosen. But
when that was not forthcoming, they left, and the men of a higher
nature became my friends. I no longer chose my companions for looks
and sex appeal. That was one of the smartest decisions I ever made!
Now I took men for their character, intelligence and dependability.
These men strengthened me instead of draining me and my self esteem
went sky high!
THE MASCULINE DIVINE
The intimacy - romantic love that I had sought in men was replaced by
God in what I call "The Masculine Divine." Once I sacrificed sex, it
happened. It did not happen right away, but a few years later. And
thereafter, it became stronger and stronger. God began to appear to me
as the men who were the handsomest and sexiest I had ever imagined.
God appeared as movie stars and tv stars. But it was under the image
of these bodies that God entered into me ecstatic grace. It was better
than sex. I assure you, Jesus appears to me as Tom Selleck at certain
times. When he is Tom, it is something very special. It means "divine
spouse" in the most intimate way possible. That way is The Stigmata.
This is a long story and deserves another article, so I will leave it
at that. Succinctly I will say that Jesus as Tom means,
"You died with me on the Cross, and now I am here for you as your
lawful wedded husband. We have had lots of children before, and now, I
will put grace into you again (through his heart, mind and penis) and
you will be pregnant with another child. Another child will be born of
us into the Kingdom of God."
Things like this transpire that could have never happened had I held
on+to sex. You cannot compare sex with Jesus to sex with a man. God
does something to you that is indescribable except by the term
ECSTASY. I had read about saints having ecstasy, but until it happens,
you cannot imagine it. It is like winning the Lotto - the joy of
suddenly having millions of dollars. I have awakened many a day with
such experiences and a warm glow held me throughout the day. God loves
me! It is so wonderful to be loved, and this cannot be taken away!
When Jesus appears to me as husband it is always because some souls
are going to receive the born-again experience. This is the process of
birth into the Kingdom of God. Jesus uses me as His conduit of grace,
and symbolically, His penis is the funnel of grace. I never feel his
penis in the gross way that sex feels on earth. On rare times, I know
he is on top of me and it is happening in a subtle way, but there is
no hint of grossness, only spiritual, emotional ecstasy.
This subtle consciousness cannot be given you until and unless you are
cleansed of strong physical attachments. The sex drive will definitely
keep you on the "animal" level. Your consciousness on this level is
gross. It sees things in a crude way. But when you rise in the
spiritual realm, your mind and senses become "soft and warm" like in a
good trance. Your being dilates. Your unconscious is opened, and the
windows and doors of your faculties open up to greater power, greater
vision. This is hard to understand for earthly people. You have to
experience it to understand.
Rasa Von Werder
June 17, 2005
END OF PART ONE
PART II
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) 2004 - 2005 RASA VON WERDER
1120 From: "david_obsidian1" <david_obsidian1@yahoo.com>
Date: Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:19pm
Subject: Re: SECRET DOOR TO HEAVEN david_obsidian1
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> This is part of the complication of culture. The answer to the
> question of why sex is so maligned is Patriarchy. In Matriarchy,
sex
> was not evil. In Patriarchy, sex is used to control women, and
> therefore it is maligned. The proscriptions against sex are mostly
> used against women (but also homosexuals) in order to judge and
> condemn women; to have the liberty of calling women sluts, whores,
> nymphomaniacs and red-lettered adulturesses. In this double
standard
> men are virile and have a lust for life when doing the exact same
> things. Only recently - in about the last twenty five years or so,
> (since 1979, when a Manhattan Beach child care center was accused
of
> abuse, starting the whole child-abuse discovery revolution) have
men
> actively been prosecuted for sex crimes.
Hello Rasa,
you are in something of a rant there, and you are over-simplifying
tremendously. Watch out for the Patriarchy/Matriarchy dichotomy,
which is largely mythical, and is often used to further good-tribe
versus bad-tribe dynamics and get some hate going along gender lines
(although it sometimes does occur in a hate-free context). I've
seen some of your messages before, and they all seem to have this
same rant going somewhere. If you can work this issue through in
yourself so that the rant does not appear, your message would be
more clearly, and more exclusively, one of love. And with that it
would shine a lot more.
Best of luck to you on your path.
Blessings,
-D
