Gurus Gone Wrong

[Babaly]

Hi everyone,

I wanted to bring up the the topic of 'Gurus Gone Wrong'.

Has anyone else been through the experience where they were following someone - even maybe became their disciple/chela and then were disappointed or saw something that wasn't quite right and chose to leave?

It has happened me, and it is a very painful process.

I would love to hear your experience and how you got through it.

Many thanks

[Richard]

Hello Babaly

Yes I know what you mean. I was unceremoniously dumped by a teacher of a path so different than this it wouldn't be appropriate to describe it hear, simply because I wasn't spending enough money with him. This was very hurtful and traumatic for me as his knowledge was indisputably huge on the subject that he was teaching.

This resulted indirectly in me finding AYP so perhaps I should be grateful to him rather than resentful as AYP has produced far greater and far reaching results than his teaching ever did.

All these things happen for a reason it is said that when you are ready the teacher will appear, for me that teacher was Yogani.

Blessings

RICHARD

[david_obsidian]

Babaly,

sorry to hear this happened to you.  It has happened to so many.

I'm not so sure how 'bad' this thing you saw was.  But if it taught you that that person was not perfect after all,  well,  that can be a good thing to learn early on.

My guess is that among the famous gurus anyway,  at least 90% have some serious dirt around them.  Let me be very clear that that's not a bad comment on the maybe 10% who do not get into any significant misbehavior.....

In my mind,  the root of the problem is the mythologization of  people beyond the correct bounds.  It's the building-up these people to be something much more than they are.  Mythologization can be a delicious process for both guru and chela,  and they find it irresistible.  It's a demand-supply thing.  The common guru loves being mythologized -- the common chela loves having someone to mythologize.

If you are looking for the same thing again,  be careful.  'The Perfect Guru' is very often sought, but it is as rare and unhelpful a goal as 'The Perfect Husband'.

Respect to all who are happy with their gurus.  This is not a diatribe against gurus.

[alan]

It is helpful to me to strive to find the Guru everywhere within and without under the universal guidelines of Divine Love. Just as god the guru is hiding behind all form and activity as Divine Love, a true human guru will only shine as That, humbly bowing his/her form in Divine Service to All. I also try to keep in mind that each form falls short of perfection as it is but one movement in the beauty of creation, preservation and dissolution and is never complete in itself

[alan]

P.S.  I forgot to mention that I sympathize with you and your experience, Babaly. It is painful when we are led astray by others, especially when we put complete faith in them. As I grow through such events and through my spiritual practice I finally begin to gain discrimination and see that by living in egoic ignorance I have led myself astray. I Thank Godguru She has led me thru it all as a mother does Her child and I am beginning to see Her more and more smiling as I take my first steps into freedom

[Shanti]

Why are you guys singling out gurus that let you down.. could you not apply this reality to everyone and anyone.. parents, children, relatives, friends, spouses.. just name it...  how many here have trusted a friend.. or a sibling or a parent or spouse.. and been hurt by them... let down in ways no human should be let down.. or at least know someone who was let down by someone they trusted...   This is life.. all these people who hurt us are our teaches.. they teach us some kind of truth about life.. they push us towards a path that lead us to the truth.. so if you want to discuss being hurt by someone.. don't just single out the gurus.
We have gone over this many times in this forum.. and it has never turned out right.. we have always landed up hurting someone, whether it is the one accusing or the one defending, someone was always hurt.. .. I am sure if we started a thread on how someone close to us hurt us.. it too would not land up too well.. when there is hurt involved.. people just want to lash out.. don't think before they speak..
Just want all of you to be careful what you say... there are many people here who have gurus.. many who are gurus.. many who will soon have a guru.. and I think they should all have a place here and not be uncomfortable... Yogani does not like guru bashing.. lets just keep that out of this forum.. as far as possible.. I know this thread has not gone out of hand yet.. but its is like a ticking time bomb..  
Just my 2 cents.

[alan]

Yes, I agree Shanti. I, for one, will not take part in the bashing of anyone's Guru. If I have already done so then I offer my sincere apologies[].  Besides, it's such a waste of time and energy!

[Babaly]

Hi Shanti,

Just to clarify. I am not interested in bashing Gurus at all.

I just need a little help getting over my experience which was painful and also a great teacher.

I in no way wish it didn't happen. It has and will serve me well. I would just like to hear peoples experience how they overcame their hurt when they had spent so much time loving this person.

It is taking me time - and I left my guru 5 years ago - to get comfortable meditating in a different way. All my wiring was wired up to her. I've had to dismantle it all and reconfigure. I think I have a handle on it now. It's taken such a long time.

Behind it all I see and feel God loving me through it all.

God/Guru/God - I know.........what is the difference.

[Shanti]

Sorry Babaly,
I did not say you were guru bashing.. you were just trying to get some help. I understand. The only reason I am scared is.. I have seen a couple of instances where it has gone too far.. it starts off as a small thing and takes on a life of its own. That is why I said "the thread has not gone out of hand yet".

I know many here don't agree with me.. they think they should be able to talk about anything they want.. which is true.. but some things are better kept out of an open forum.. esp. one that deals with yoga and meditation..

Babaly, Please do forgive me if I was out of line here.. and hurt you in any way..by posting this. I had decided to stay out of this, but it is hard for me to stay out... lived through a couple of these threads.. and they led to a lot of heartaches for a lot of people.

I don't expect anyone to stop posting because I said so.. just be careful what you say that's all..
Thanks
-Shanti.

[Babaly]

Thanks Richard for your post.

It obviously was not my karma to continue with that guru.

I am glad I have found you all and Yogani.

I feel so sad right this moment I think I'll sign off and have a good cry.

Blessings to you all.
Babaly

[david_obsidian]

Shanti said:
Why are you guys singling out gurus that let you down.. could you not apply this reality to everyone and anyone.. parents, children, relatives, friends, spouses.. just name it... how many here have trusted a friend.. or a sibling or a parent or spouse.. and been hurt by them... let down in ways no human should be let down.. or at least know someone who was let down by someone they trusted... This is life.. all these people who hurt us are our teaches.. they teach us some kind of truth about life.. they push us towards a path that lead us to the truth.. so if you want to discuss being hurt by someone.. don't just single out the gurus.

Shanti,  there are lots of good reasons why the question was asked,  and good reasons why there was an attempt to answer it.

But if I am to take your own question on face value,  I would say,  well, none of the parents, children, relatives, friends, spouses that I know of are willing participants in instituted relationship-forms which mythologize and inflate them out of all reason,  way beyond what they really are.  I have no parents, children, relatives, friends or spouses that self-mythologize enormously -- I don't know if you do[].  So if you get disappointed with the people I know of,  at least you don't have a huge mythologization you have of them to get through.  People who are disappointed with gurus often have to go through that.

[Shanti]

Well its not just mythologizing you know.. it mainly hurts when you are wronged.. whether it was because you believed that this is how a guru is supposed to behave or a relative. As a child you do mythologize your parents/uncles/aunts/.. when they hurt you.. that scar stays with you through life times David. Just the way when you believe with all you heart that a guru can show you the way and they hurt you. You may have been lucky not to have been hurt by someone close to you.. but not everyone is that lucky.. and although I was never hurt by a guru.. the hurt I received as a child from people I thought were cool grown ups... could never be bigger than that a guru could hand me. Just personal opinion I know..

[Jim and His Karma]

That must have been pretty wrenching.

A book Yogani recommends, "THE FOUR AGREEMENTS" by Don Miguel Ruiz" offers some insight into working through this sort of issue. More info at:
http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/index.php?topic=466

[alan]

Hi Babaly, I hope things are better for you[]

My experience with Yogananda in the early eighties and the church that was built around his teachings and how to sift through my relationship with both of them is as close as I can get to your experience. In '83 I had a vision of Yogananda and Sri Yukteswar before I fell the next day into a more solidified pattern of drug use which took me away from spiritual work for over twenty years. Though Yogananda has never told me he is my Guru, I always thought he was. That vision and a feeling of his presence in my life is the only thing that I can't call a guru mythology. Because I have seperated the mythology and its rules from the feeling of his presence I can once again accept him as 'real' to me. The whole thing was long term painful because I had to grow out of having accepted the mythology as real with all of the associated feelings of guilt for doing so. My Dad is a Methodist minister and I grew up with institutional guilt, so I guess that was part of my church karma to work out. Until God actually tells me who my Guru is, if that's necessary, I'll accept guidance from the highest ones that cross my path, and they do[]
I hope your healing brings you rich rewards!   Love alan

[Babaly]

Thanks Alan,

Your heartfelt words have helped me tonight.

I feel better now. I'm coming to a place where I am grateful all this happened. My karma was to go on to higher heights. It was God's will that I was freed from my then guru.

This interchange has helped me by just getting it out there. I feel more free.

Onward and upward.

Thanks for all of you being there.

God is Great:-)