quote:
Originally posted by karl
I have no idea if all this meditation and Yoga practise does anything at all. The reason I do it is that I enjoy the hour during the day. What results from that hour of practise is interesting.
The strange thing with Yoga is that it has no defined goal and I think you have to start with that. There are no milestones to count or measure by. No defined time. We cannot know what is achievable. By all normal measures it fails. This failure to deliver produces frustration.
Karl, your post was brilliant and very inspiring. I tend to have the same view. I am not very admitting sometimes of my skepticism of yoga because it puts me in an awkward place to be spending an hour every single day, plus diet and sexual conduct, on something that I'm not so sure I believe in. The skeptic in my mind is something that I see as a product of the mind - the unwillingness of it to percieve things outside of its preconceptions. Perhaps others don't have such a strong complex against metaphysical phenonema - due to how they were raised or who knows? And it's so funny because I have had VERY dramatic spiritual experiences via LSD and marijuana in the past...I mean, there is just no doubt about it! Yet, it wears off and after a couple of days I had the memory and its inspiring...yet doesn't pack the same motivational punch anymore. The mind resumes its censoring. It's amazing that everynight I have dreams - arguably the trippiest metaphysical expeirence available to everyone by default - and the skeptic still remains!
I resolve myself to just keep on keepin on with my practices and the true nature of them will show themselves. When I was trying to feel the energy ball I kept thinking "come on, anthony. quantum physics proves there is no distinction between the empty space between your hands and your hands so its gotta be true. don't doubt it...".
Giving up on the goal is a fantastic notion. That is the main reason I do yoga - almost hedonistically in that I like feeling peaceful and still on the inside. Occasionally blissful if I'm lucky and it's a sunny day. I ask myself why I do yoga quite often, and I really don't know. To me, there seems to be no other way then to continue "seeking". It's silly because I don;t know what I'm seeking, really. I was writing in my journal the other night and after spilling some thoughts I realized that my main motive it seems in yoga is to pierce through what I percieve and conceptualize as a "membrane" that keeps me from experiencing life directly - and the idea that I could percieve life in this way is both intuitive and based on my experiences with psychadelics. And this membrane is mostly composed of the usual fears, doubts, ect. I think Buddha had it most clearly right when he sold Dharmic practices as being The End of Pain. I think I can pretty safely say that;s my real goal. If I were to achieve kundalini, but still felt petty greed and insecurities, what good would it be? I doubt active kundalini is a quick fix for the pains of the ego.
quote:
Originally posted by riptiz
Hi Anthony,
The answer to your 'problem' is energy practice.
I have considered taking up Qi Gong or something like that. I don't have enough time to really take up a new practice regularly so I will have to wait until I graduate from school next month to consider it. Sometimes I try to play around with energy and sometimes I can feel it (I think), mostly if I am sitting in the sun or after a deep sadhana. But, the problem is that it carries for me a risk of frustrating me further. I can't explain it and I know it's silly, but I really do get quite frustrated when I cant percieve these things and I think it has a lot to do with the very unstructured and unscientific way it is proposed. "You just have to feel it", "Just sense the energy"...I mean, what the hell does that mean? I know its something that perhaps can't be explained through words, but there has to be a system out there that would work for people like me whose minds are so quick to attack.
At the end of asanas I have taken to trying to feel the energy ball for a few minutes and I have been able to feel what feels like two magnets repelling eachother and it feels pretty strong. But then if I try to do it, say, further down it's gone. Or I try to switch my hands and it's gone. At this point my mind says "ha, I knew I was right. There's no energy between your hands! You were feeling your own body-heat you new-age spacecase! It was your mind convicing your hands that there is something between them." Pretty frustrating having that dude in your head, don't you think?
quote:
Originally posted by snatha
Hari Om
Hi Anthony
just wanted to know if u have the same problem.checkout see u r degree of brahamacharya.check the ferquency of the fliud flow.dont let it flow outside tomuch.know the essense of it nad preserve and let it flow upwards.this is definetly going to help.
Jai shri Krishna
I do practice my version of Bramacharya in that I don't ejaculate, or try not to. I maybe ejaculate once a week but lately I think I'm getting even better at resisting. When I masturbate and get close to orgasm I recently have been able to clench the Perineum, suck in my stomach, and visualize energy going to my head instead of out of penis. This is done "past the point of no return", but it does not feel the same as "blocking" because the force of ejauclation is not very strong and I don't feel it going into my bladder. But, I don't really feel any energy afterwards, just a very trance-like state where I just want to lay down and close my eyes. More like a coma.
quote:
Originally posted by Parallax
Hey Anthony!
But a few things that have helped me. First, I have found the AYP practices have just about everything you need to get the energy going. If not doing so already, adding siddhasana, sambhavi and mulahbandha to your SBP can really help to jump start your energy--without adding any extra time to your sitting practices. Taking 2 minutes and adding Yoni Mudra Kumbhaka is also a strong stimulator of energy, again without much extra practice time. But remember to add all of these elements slowly as they really have a way of raising the energy.
If all of this isn't doing it for you, you can take a look at your diet as well. As a person who naturally gravitates toward a "heavy diet" I can attest that eating lighter throughout the day (and making sure you wait ~2yrs after a meal to do your practices) can also be a big help.
Within the past 2 months, I can feel the energy in my body dramatically more, to the point that I am having to "self-pace" for the first time on my journey (6 months ago I never thought I'd be saying that!!).
The other thing that I remind myself when I get frustrated with the pace of progress is the fact that I went to 8yrs of grade school, 4yrs of high school, 4 yrs of college, 3yrs for an MBA and additional course work--just to be doing the "worldly" job I'm doing now!! So the investment of a couple of years to gain proficiency in the spiritual realms doesn't seem so bad to me when I look at it like that. I know people spend many lifetimes on their spiritual path, and all the investment time in practices, will pay MASSIVE dividends in the future!! I know when I started to feel the impact of the AYP practices it was literally like a light switch being turned out...I bet you are just around the corner
All I can say is diligently keep up with practices, look for additional AYP "add-ons" to help stimulate your energy without increasing your practice time, and take a deep breath and try to let go of the expectations and it will all come together
Hope this helps in some way!! Keep us posted on how your progressing!!
Peace & Namaste
Lately, with pranayama sometimes I feel that I am making progress. Let me explain how. Visualizing the shushumna for me is a technique wrought with hazards because even after 2 years my mind still overanalyzes and constantly tries to screw with my visualization. So, lately I guess because my meditation is better, sometimes I am able to realize that my perception of the shushumna is based on my eyeballs. I realize that I tend to view it relative to my eyes, which for me is my main conciousness. So, SOMETIMES, I am able to just tune in to the shushumna, but not so much with visualizing which tends to engage my eyes and head. When I can do this I feel a sense of empty space and it turns very enjoyable. Not really ecstatic, just calming and peaceful. It is that idea of "just tuning in" that I feel is necessary for energy work, but it is something I can't do very reliably. As far as mudras and bhandas, I have felt that when I do sense it a bit that if I add on a mudra or bhanda willingly, the feeling tends to dissapear - almost as if the oppposite is happening. If I do them it is mostly because they engage themselves so I tend not to decide to do them, they just do themselves either because of energy or muscle memory.
I will look into Yoni Mudra Kumbaka. It;s not something I can do reglarly, however, because four days out of the week I have to do sadhana in a public setting and I don't wanna draw that much attention to myself.
Diet...eh, well that's a big one for me. Lately, I have been fruatrated because I like going to the gym and working out with weights. I used to be 127lbs (I'm 6ft) but after working out for a while I weight 146, feel healthier, and look more muscular. I'm 21, single, summers coming up...and as non-yogic as it may be, I don't wanna look like ghandi again. So, I'm afraid to take that step towards eating like a Sadhu. I eat a vegetarian diet and except for my sweet tooth I wouldnt say I have any bad habits. I really eat very well. There is something to be said of times where I ate little to nothing when I was sick and felt spiritually high...but I dont know if I would want to carry that over into everyday. I work out with weights in phases so dyuring the week or two that I am I will eat more, make sure I get enough proteins carbs ans fats. Nothing ridiculous, just a bit more. And I'll take some protein supplement. The last time I was doing this I felt "uncentered", but I wonder if it was all in my mind because eating for me carries a lot of spiritual guilt. I feel like everytime I indulge I am cutting myself off from enlightenment. It's stupid, I know, and I tend to do it anyway. I am seeing more and more how what I eat affects my conciousness, but I also feel like it would be a real strain for me to barely eat cooked foods (no Indian cuisine!) and things like that. I never know how extreme I'm supposed to be with diet. Many would consider me pretty over-the-top as it is.
Many thanks for everyone above for your help. I appreciate so much having this online community.
Much love.