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Originally posted by BellaMente
I have noticed that I have an addictive personality... I always have this feeling that I need something, I need something to make me feel better, I take this, I drink that, and it's not enough. I always need something it seems and I need to know how to stop this! I know it's irrational and I want to be normal! Does anybody know how to deal with something like this???
Every ego is addictive; it's simply a matter of degree.
Yoga *is* the cure for addiction.
Reality erases the illusion of thinking we're a separate self that needs something from "outside" itself to be whole.
In initial stages of kundalini awakening, such as you're presumably going through, sometimes this dynamic seems to be exacerbated.
Just be aware of it, and know that it's the perception of being a separate self that's at the root of all suffering and discomfort.
If the behavioral addictions really seem to be an issue, twelve step programs (as mentioned in the AYP Lessons) can be a helpful augmentation to daily practices.
The twelve steps are just a specific refinement of universal spiritual principles.
I realized sometime back that the trajectory of the twelve steps is identical to that of yoga;
*Recognizing that something better/different than "our own best thinking" is needed.
*Letting go, and letting God/"Higher Power".
*Taking the steps needed to liberate attention from memory and imagination, which primarily involves releasing memory and imagination, which are most often held in place due to lack of forgiveness for self and others.
*Maintaining conscious contact with God/Higher Power.
*Carrying the message (whatever message, in whatever way; shifting from the illusion of getting to the reality of giving that is the essence of all life, with the exception of the dream-aberration we call the human ego).
Is twelve step right for you?
Let intuition and/or wise advice from whatever source be your guide there .... if, as the first step says, your life has become unmanageable, you probably have a sense that this is so.
If the circumstances of your life don't seem that severe, and/or intuition doesn't impel you to do anything else .... I agree with Machart: continuing daily practices is the single biggest favor you can do for yourself, here ... regardless of whether or not you do anything else.
Daily practices will cause the spontaneous dissolution of the vast majority of "issues" that thinking mind is worried about; both the worry and the issues themselves start to dissipate, as an actual result of practices.
Thinking-worry can't imagine this.
It doesn't have to.
The dissolution happens anyway.
I hope this helps.
Wholeheartedly,
Kirtanman