quote:
Originally posted by 11jono11
"So just continue to be celibate" I here you cry
Actually, "So just continue to be celibate" you hear
you cry.
Life unfolds as it does; all the thinking and wondering and worrying just takes the fun right out of it, is all.
quote:
So to cut a long story short do you reckon it would be easier for me to just refrain full stop?
The only thing that's truly easy is to live naturally. The only thing that's truly holy is to live naturally.
"Convenient, that!"
Conditioned thinking over-complicates things (situations)
amazingly.
You like a girl.
You feel a sense of emotional and sexual attraction to her.
You feel somewhat of a draw to sex, but a much higher draw toward the emotional connection that can, and usually does, happen in relationship (specifically between a man and a woman, in this case).
Sound about right?
If you start dating her, what does it mean?
It means you've started dating her.
If you have sex with her, what does it mean?
It means you've had sex with her.
quote:
Is tantric sex worth it? Does anyone here know what I am talking about? / Where I am coming from?
I feel fairly sure I do, yes.
You like a girl; you're attracted to her. This is literally the most normal thing a human male can experience.
You're concerned that starting a romantic or sexual relationship may negatively affect your practices.
You're also wondering, in the event that you do begin having a sexual relationship with this girl, would tantric sex, presuming she's interested in this too, be helpful, spiritually (yes?)
I would say, again: all the thinking is causing the disturbance/confusion. Disturbance and confusion can only be caused by thinking.
A fairly short while ago, you posted about surrender. Surrender is an awesome and powerful tool. Life knows what it's doing --- thinking does not.
Relax; enjoy --- life is beautiful, fun and wonderful -- and connections between people, whatever the exact nature of those connections, are among the sweetest aspects of all, for most of us.
quote:
Also is it good that I have not finished in a while? How often if at all is it ok to finish?
As I've posted, and others have posted in the past, not ejaculating tends to be more important earlier-on in practices, but then, it can be useful. Yogani discusses it in the lessons, and I think (I haven't looked in years) -- he suggests something like a time or two (of ejaculating) per week, as the maximum, or "you'll mess up your yoga" (I'm pretty sure he said).
quote:
Does finishing have a direct negative effect on practice?
Usually only if it's done really often. A lot of (non-tantric/non-yogic) men ejaculate at least once a day, or once every other day ... and that may be too much, because the energy that is "cultivated and preserved" (as we say in AYP) can offer fairly major energetic benefits -- and, conversely, ejaculating often can have the opposite effect.
I was always a "push the envelope" kinda guy, so when I started AYP Tantra, I stopped ejaculating for a week or so at a time, at first; then went to two weeks, then went to about three months on average, and went maybe six months, once, over a period of a couple of years, or so.
The last couple of years, I haven't paid much attention to it, at all; the inclination to monitor kind of fell away -- and I haven't experienced any sense of energetic loss in connection with ejaculation, for at least a couple of years. I'm probably kind of in the middle of where I used to be (less often than before I started Tantra, more often than the longer periods described above) - but there's no purposeful monitoring of it; it (all
) happens as it happens -- I just trust and enjoy.
It's working out very nicely.
Wholeheartedly,
Kirtanman