Ways to relieve sexual urge?

[Alvin Chan]

Hi all. I'm 23, single. Hoping to preserve my energy, I haven't had any sexual activities since around 2 weeks ago when I started AYP practices. In was fine until yesterday midnight--I do have a very very strong urge to let the semen out. It took around an hour for me to settle the feeling down (actually, just down enough for me to get to sleep again, and I wake up a few times afterwards and still feel the urge). Really a tough exercise for my will-power! But I think in the long run it would be hard to resist the desire. I am just wondering if there is any ways to relieve the sexual urge even before it somes. (Besides, of course, having a sexual activity)

When we say a certain method "direct the sexual energy upwards" or something similar, do we also mean that the method can change the sexual urge (and thus relieve it) into something else? I tried mulabandha (on my bed) out of an attempt to relieve myself last night, seemingly it helps, but only a bit.

I have only read up to the blocking methods (which appears to be the main technique???) in the tanra lessons. But I am quite scary of this method, at least now. The method just sounds rather terrible for me--blocking what is supposed to come out?! Added to the fact that I am afraid I may misunderstand some points and thus do it wrong and eventually hurt myself, I just hesitate to try at this moment.

[david_obsidian]

Alvin,

I'm only going to partially answer your question,  and there is more than one point-of-view on what I am going to say,  and I know others (and various traditions) will disagree with what I am going to say,  but some will certainly agree.

An orgasm once every two weeks,  or even once a week,  is not even close to excessively frequent for most 23-year-olds.  You may be taking your abstinence to the point of excess if you are letting it go this far and are having these kinds of issues.

There's no hard and fast rule here --- things might be different if you perceived yourself on the edge of a definite transition for which you felt you needed to keep the seed.  But right now I see no reason for maintaining such difficult abstinence.

Here it is in code:

'God helps those who help themselves'.

[yogani]

Good question, Alvin. Good answer, David.

I would only add that as you get through the tantra lessons, Alvin, you will gain more perspective on this. Particularly lesson #T46 which ties much of it together in a practical discussion.
http://www.aypsite.com/plus/T46.html

Also, one of these days I will be adding an online lesson on masturbation in relation to the broader topic of spiritual self-stimulation.

The guru is in you

[Victor]

i would start with moderation and gradually extend teh cycle if that is your direction. At first it is as impossible to abstain from release as it is to abstain from exhalation during pranayama. Do not fight yourself excessively. A one or two week cycle for a young man is perfectly fine. Once established for a year or so you can work on lengthening it if you feel the bhakti to do so. I also have mixed feelings about "tantric masturbation" It can make you feel pleasure but also has the  potential for increasing the urge to release leading to more frustration. On the other hand suppressing your urges causes more problems. It is a very delicate yoga and should be undertaken with moderation and care looking at the long term rather than immediate results

[nearoanoke]

Hi Alvin,

I am 25. I also used to struggle with it since I started AYP, finding it tough to maintain at once-per-2weeks. But with ongoing meditation and other main practices both brahmacharya and tantric masturbation improved for me.

After I added siddhasana, I found a drastic improvement in my tantric masturbation sessions. But TM is kind of dangerous to play around in initial stages. Even if you have one successful session w/o losing seed, you will come back to it again and again till you loose it. I would suggest you to concentrate on main practices (meditation etc) and once in a while test your TM sessions for improvement.

- Near



The reason many people fail in spirituality is that they try but make no attempt - Anonymous

[Alvin Chan]

Thanks for all the helpful advices.

Actually, before I come to yoga practices, I tried abstinence a few times (when I was a Christian many years ago). And I always try to due with sex with moderation later on. What I find out was: once I allow myself to masturbate, the desire keeps coming instead of fade away. So these years, I seldom have moderation: sometimes I don't have any such desire for one or two weeks, sometimes I have orgasm for many consecutive days--very unhealth in any standard. It just seems that an orgasm can destroy my will power and make me feel uneasy, at least momentarily. (That's before I do meditation. Hope things would change......) that's why I try to avoid it all together as far as I could to prevent that. (though I know I will fail sooner or later......)

Also, I am not sure if it's just a coincidence-- I tried sitting on siddhasana for a short time and seemingly it ignited my sexual urge (not immediately, though). Originally I do that in attempt to prevent the urge--exactly the opposite.

I want to try tantric masturbation, but still hesitate. I would like to make sure about the techniques and all possible side-effects before I do anything on such sensitive organs. It would be better if I could see some pictures. I learn from yoga texts that perineum is the area between the genitals and the annus, the pressing point in Siddhasana. But "Blocking can be done by reaching to the perineum from either the front or the back" according to lessons. Are we actually pressing the same area, and "front or back" refers only to whether my hand are in front of/behind my leg??

Also, what feeling should I expect from an orgasm with a successful blocking, comparing with one without blocking? There is some pressure building up inside.... Would it be painful? And will it weaken the power of ejaculation in the long run?

[nearoanoke]

quote:Originally posted by Alvin Chan

Thanks for all the helpful advices.

What I find out was: once I allow myself to masturbate, the desire keeps coming instead of fade away.

That has been my experience too. Better try to avoid it altogether TILL you develop some inner silence with deep meditation. But after few months of meditation adding tantra practices will infact help. Then doing tantra is better than abstaining from sex. Because each time you stimulate pre-orgasmically and let go the desire for orgasm, you will have something added to your spiritual energy. That way tantra can be more helpful than plain celibacy.

quote:
Also, I am not sure if it's just a coincidence-- I tried sitting on siddhasana for a short time and seemingly it ignited my sexual urge (not immediately, though). Originally I do that in attempt to prevent the urge--exactly the opposite.

I think that's a good sign which shows that siddhasana is working. As AYP says, initially it will feel like that and things will settle down with time and you will feel a steady flow of sexual energy upwards in siddhasana. If you are feeling very uncomfortable do it only during pranayama and do your meditation normally.

quote:
Also, what feeling should I expect from an orgasm with a successful blocking, comparing with one without blocking? There is some pressure building up inside.... Would it be painful? And will it weaken the power of ejaculation in the long run?

I never tried the blocking. I think it will weaken the tendency to ejaculate in long run just like siddhasana. But that's not a practice just a tool to use in case things get out of control.



The reason many people fail in spirituality is that they try but make no attempt - Anonymous

[mystiq]

I am a new comer to this site. But its the place where the right discussions take place according to my opinion. Regarding sexual abstinence long years of practising (bhava advaita)or seeing the one in the many or seeing everything as Brahman will reduce our sexual appetite slowly. Also repetetion of the mantra OM mentally and audibly is supposed to help. This is what I have heard I may be wrong.

mystiq