quote:
Originally posted by Jack
Guys, help me understand myself here.
When I read this stuff on how we are supposed to be this, do this, women want this, you've got to be this kind of man, etc..
I feel anger.
Like.. why should I contort myself to what a 'woman wants'??
Like, banging head against a brick wall. Sickness in the solar plexus!
Yes Jack, that is one way of looking at it, and there is absolutely no reason to try to change yourself to accomodate what other people want. That is assuming you have everything you want from life, and are perfectly happy.
What I was writing about is for people who are frustrated and aren't getting what they want out of life. And in particular guys who have problems communicating and dealing with women.
Why would someone want to change themselves to communicate better with others? because differences in biology and environment we grew up in cause people to have different world views. It is helpful to be able to see the world the way other people see it. This gets rid of the frustration of dealing with people you don't understand.
So it is not so much about the need to change yourself for other people.
But what it is about is understanding how women see the world. The kind of reactions Miguel and many other men have, are uncomfortable because sensitive guys try to change themselves to please women. They do this because of a desire to be close to women. But they sabotage themselves because they are acting from a logical perspective. This is natural for men but not women.
So if you are sensitive and are trying to change yourself so women will like you, then you need to understand how they see the world. That doesn't come naturally for men.
From a yoga perspective, this can be applied to dealing with people in general. if you are the kind of person who is liked by everyone, and people reach out to communicate with you, then don't change.
But if you constantly have probelms communicating with people, are not well liked, and if you are frustrated with the way other people see the world, then it would benefit everyone if you look into the reasons. It's a kind of self inquiry, and makes life more peaceful and fun.
