adishivayogi
USA
197 Posts
Posted - Nov 24 2018 : 9:32:27 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Topic Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Message Delete Topic
A few years ago I was too heavily focused on pranayama and sort of threw myself off the path. At least my mind told me that . I invoked the goddess kali to come and destroy my ego around that time as well. A month or two I met this woman . She introduced me to opiates and quickly I became an addict . I love this woman however we are not together. Today . She is a sociopath and bipolar . I say that with utmost truth . Me myself I?ve never identified with much. My parents were abusive so I never saw myself as a son. My brothers were all in college and getting married in my early childhood as well. So I was never a brother to anyone. Didn?t have much friends in high school didn?t play sports . I smoked a lot of weed though . So I dentified as a pothead . Later after finding kriya I dentified as a yogi. Heavily attached to the path in an egotistical way. Then I met kali. And picked up my last identification . I was her husband . So as I became a heroin addict I obviously quit sadhana completely . I was no longer a yogi in my mind . Just a husband and a drug addict . Well sh*t went south with my marriage . Kali had been sleeping around with god knows how many men and women so I realized my marriage was a sham. All of a sudden I was just a drug addict. And I didn?t want that . In one final act of surrender I dropped and lost my desire to use drugs and for three days after that I watched as my ego disassembled itself . Everything about me has changed since . I now meditate effortlessly . My intelligence has exploded . People who I?ve known muni whole life say that it?s like a completely different person . My mind has become still . Along with a few other odd physical changes . For the first time in my life I feel home within myself. I feel whole . No longer seeking . Fullfilled
SeySorciere
Seychelles
1139 Posts
Posted - Nov 25 2018 : 02:54:22 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Dear adishivayogi,
Sounds like you have had a hard life -
Yogani recommends to keep practicing no matter whatever stages we are going through, even one where we feel we have arrived. Life is continuous changing, there are always more openings, more to experience. Enjoy this phase but best you get back to practices.
Good luck
Sey
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
661 Posts
Posted - Nov 25 2018 : 03:34:27 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Thank you adish blessing on your path
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adishivayogi
USA
197 Posts
Posted - Nov 26 2018 : 07:28:14 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
I?ve just been sitting with my being . No concentration , no effort, no pranayama . May be against some advise but the guru in me has inspired me to take this approach
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Nov 27 2018 : 10:21:59 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere
Yogani recommends to keep practicing no matter whatever stages we are going through, even one where we feel we have arrived. Life is continuous changing, there are always more openings, more to experience. Enjoy this phase but best you get back to practices.
Sey
Yes.
