I've been busy lately (not too busy to meditate, though[
]) doing taxes and other necessary financial "must do's" at work. Finally done with it
To celebrate, I went to this Indian restaurant downtown Oslo for lunch (yesterday....by myself). I had a nice vegetarien buffet, and as I sat there (the place was almost empty) I studied the wallpaper...it was full of colorful paintings of Indian Yogis and their elephants. I kept looking around for a picture of Krishna (thinking that "he must surely be here"), but I couldn't find it anywhere. So - I enjoyed my lunch, and finished it with a nice cup of Indian tea. (I LOVE tea
)
While drinking tea, I read the following words (from a book I had with me) - by Patanjali:
Now the discipline of yoga.
Yoga is the cessation of mind.
Then the witness is established in itself.Something happened....
Now the discipline of yogaI jumped! Yes....we agree! It is just that I have never labeled it "yoga". The discipline of yoga is the ability to fully be here NOW. (I am sure all of you here know this.....but I didn't.)
Yoga is the cessation of mind.Yes. These past couple of years this has gradually revealed itself to me. So I thought: "Oh good....we agree again" (this is my mind commenting; feeding itself on validations). So I felt myself relaxing into the next line:
Then the witness is established in itself.The world stopped! Something.....broke....inside. Something imploded. I dropped dead...I fell flat on the floor (don't worry, I didn't fall off my chair
).
It was such a simple revelation, it took me by complete surprise. I lost my breath.
Then the witness is established in itself.I understood! I understood how the duality arises in me....how the outward motion of my mind blinds me, how it pulls me "out of myself". How the perception of the witness is veiled. Since that moment, the scale tipped. I have felt the presence of the witness for a long time; but I have only identified with it in glimpses. There has been a perception of "the witness
and me". I perceived it as so different from me...that it was almost an analomy...alien...something unheard of....something from another planet. Yesterday...the illusion of two... broke. I am awake...and I know it. It became very clear that the sound (the full F sound I hear) is the sound of the witness. The sound of this presence is F. (Not that it matters much...it is just a fact).
There were no bells, stars, colors..hallelujas..or whatever. I simply consciously landed in myself. I am not enlightened....please; if I ever come here stating such a thing...please give me a cold shower
. But I am so full of laughter and joy
I understand that now the real work can begin! I can
never be lost again. Also.....the experiences I have had lately of being laughed at..by the houses, the trees, the air....all of it was me! The witness laughed! I laughed at myself! I am still laughing.....
Something funny did happen. The shock of the experience made me raise my eyes. Right in front of me...maybe 4 meters ahead...framed on the wall was a strikingly beautiful picture of Krishna with his girlfriend (what was her name again?)...standing in a forest with his flute. I started laughing.....I mean....it had been right there in front of me the whole time! How could I possibly have missed it ?! (too busy looking around
)
There was still one more sentence in the sutra of Patanjali. (This was the first time I read Patanjali). After a long time I read the whole thing:
Now the discipline of yoga.
Yoga is the cessation of mind.
Then the witness is established in itself.
In the other states there is identification with the modifications of the mind.I simply had to share this with someone. I am so glad you are here - all of you!
On the way home I felt some words emanating inside. This is the closest I come to express the experience:
Bliss
Now there is no hope
Now there is no morrow
Now I desire nothingYogani.....
...namaste
I don't know how to thank you. Ah... (I can hear you smile
)
Physically this experience coincides with the following:
No more pressure in my head. I can tolerate very strong currents from below....by simply "letting them flow out" through the ajna. The crown is gradually maturing....I don't worry or focus on it at all anymore. Sometimes I perceive it to be completely "gone"....as if..nothing is up there...as if my upper head is off. The spine is vibrant and ecstatic all the time....I can move the energy in it with my eye. I still don't see much....but that doesn't bother me. My eczema is all gone. The presence of the witness is everywhere.....I still feel that the navel is the first "entrance"...the physical connection point between the body and the witness.
Ps: Can anyone reccomend what to read by Patanjali?
May all your Nows be Here