Author Topic: hold back question  (Read 276 times)

AYPadmin

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hold back question
« on: July 22, 2019, 10:44:44 AM »
Chard
247 Posts

Posted - Dec 05 2017 :  12:08:35 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Topic  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Message  Delete Topic
Hi All,
So I'm focusing on sex being an extension of my spiritual practice for me and I'm finding that although there has been so much sexual energy within me that when I do release it, it's just not helpful and is depleting- as we all know. Yet I'm finding it hard to bring all of it upward and there's still at least a bit of a release. Am I focusing on tracing the spine and curving and ending at the 3rd eye like spinal breathing? Perhaps I need to start it earlier on in foreplay? Doesn't seem like I'm mastering it too well.

Also another question while I'm on the topic that keeps nagging me... I've noticed since I've had the resurgence of kundalini energy in April that the nature of my orgasms are in fact vaginal ejaculations rather than your classic orgasm almost as if the substance is not merely vaginal but a full-body release. The liquid substance has different qualities. The first time it happened I was in awe that this could happen to women as opposed to merely men. Has anyone experienced this? I assumed it was related to kundalini?
Not exactly your cocktail party conversation, lol!!
Thank God I can ask these questions here!!
C
Charliedog
1552 Posts

 Posted - Dec 05 2017 :  03:54:20 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi chard,

It is a proces and will change over time from sexual to spiritual. Take care and self-pace accordingly. Reading the tantra lessons will give the insights needed.

From lesson 15: Solo masturbation could also be explored in tantric mode, if you are already inclined toward it. In that case, when you masturbate, see if you can develop a habit of staying in front of orgasm using the solo version of the holdback method. With all this, in time, your desire for lustful pleasure will lose some of its luster. That is because the inner spiritual pleasure will be coming up more and more, and it is very satisfying, not just for the moment, but ongoing day and night.

A strong libido is actually a great advantage in spiritual practices, assuming you can bring some discipline to your stimulative practices. That is really the key. Passion with a purpose, you know. You will know you are making progress when you can just be aroused without having to go to climax. It takes time. Siddhasana is a great practice for cultivating that mode of constant stimulation without expectations. The "bucking bronco" of siddhasana will settle down eventually. Then you will find ecstatic bliss trickling up and down all through you. Lustful pleasures will seem a small thing then, and will slip from consciousness during yogic sexual stimulation, and in regular daily activity as well. Yogani

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capucine
France
63 Posts

 Posted - Dec 05 2017 :  05:44:47 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Chard,

I feel concerned with your post because I have the same problem, how to well manage the sexual energy.

During a meditation, I had an energy release in February and since, my sexual energy increased a lot. Before to know aypsite, I had no satisfying solution excepted small orgasm time to time when I had really too much pressure.

In August, with aypsite, I began spinal breathing added before meditation and it helped sexual energy to go upward. I had a blockage at coccyx, but with time and spinal breathing, it disappeared. Since some weeks, I had siddhasana (not during all meditation time because it?s very powerful and I go slowly to self-pace). This practice is incredibly powerful to bring upward the sexual energy. For me, it?s really THE solution I was looking for. Now I don?t feel the needed to have classic orgasm to release sexual pressure. If I try to arouse myself (not too much) to have a classical orgasm, it just goes somewhere upward.

In fact, I don?t know if the most useful is spinal breathing or siddhasana or meditation or the three together. Do you practice siddhasana ?

For another question, I?ve never experienced it!
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 05 2017 :  07:04:07 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
HI Chard
quote:
Originally posted by Chard
I've noticed since I've had the resurgence of kundalini energy in April that the nature of my orgasms are in fact vaginal ejaculations rather than your classic orgasm almost as if the substance is not merely vaginal but a full-body release.

I wouldn't pay too much attention to these. The real loss of energy in a woman is through her monthly cycle. Every month the womb builds up a new lining, which is then thrown out with a significant loss of blood and the whole process starts over and over. The tantric techniques men use e.g. blocking are of course no use to us. There is a technique called the deer exercise (there is a long thread about it somewhere on this forum). What I personally found out was that the periods get lighter and then disappear when the system can integrate all sexual energy. If the system is not ready, the deer exercise causes massive overload. The same experience men have with abstinence. The moral is that we need to carry on with purifying the system, then brahmacharya will happen naturally.

Happy practice!
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Dec 05 2017 07:05:20 AM
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Dogboy
USA
1585 Posts

 Posted - Dec 05 2017 :  6:59:30 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
So I'm focusing on sex being an extension of my spiritual practice for me and I'm finding that although there has been so much sexual energy within me that when I do release it, it's just not helpful and is depleting- as we all know. Yet I'm finding it hard to bring all of it upward and there's still at least a bit of a release. Am I focusing on tracing the spine and curving and ending at the 3rd eye like spinal breathing? Perhaps I need to start it earlier on in foreplay? Doesn't seem like I'm mastering it too well.


Siddhasana, SBP, brahmacharya, and tracing the shushumna all work toward sexual energy moving upward. As Blue mentions your practice eventually makes it automatic. I know this is so because the action has become a physical sensation, in meditation as well as sexual arousal. It has become a taste in my nasal passages. In arousal allow the energy through the third eye, and even from your Solar Center rather than "hoarding it inward", a surrender, both doing/not doing.

I love what Yogani states in the excerpt Charliedog posted: passion with a purpose. That yoga intertwined with sexual arousal purifies my system, that I may be closer to realizing Self just by opening and "surfing the sexy" is a life affirming revelation! I treat arousal as an ember encouraged by gentle attention and appreciated, an ongoing condition of various intensity in moments of the day. Arousal alone is my endgame.

Having said that, one should allow for an occasional release, a reboot, without shame, frustration, or negativity. It's all good, knowing I'm wired for the long term.
Edited by - Dogboy on Dec 05 2017 7:01:26 PM
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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 06 2017 :  3:19:28 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Chard,

Good advice from all.

I've started a thread in Plus titled : Effects of spiritual practices on monthly cycles.

I started with sitting practices in AYP. I was not interested in Tantra. But as we know spiritual practices affects all aspects of life. When I started to notice changes in the body that is when I dove into reading the Tantra lessons.

Yes, multiple orgasm is depleting. Preservation and cultivation of the energy is most effective. Charliedog has already pointed to the lessons. The experience here is energy follows the breath without using any techniques (i.e Spinal breathing), just letting it rise it's natural way.

And as Blue mentioned, you will start noticing it's affects on your cycles if you haven't already done so.

Second Dogboy- Take it easy.You have a lot going on at the moment. Self-pace when needed.

Hope this helps.


Edited by - sunyata on Dec 06 2017 3:20:55 PM
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Chard
247 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  12:47:22 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Great responses everyone! Thank you so much!
CharlieDog, Good suggestion about getting in front of orgasm. I was able to get in front of the orgasm the other day more successfully and really brought the energy up and felt the ecstatic bliss all around my body. I've done a few tantra workshops w my husband in the past and you see people having whole body orgasms and it's like their whole body starts to spasm... I don't know the word for it but perhaps you know what I mean. But I noticed that happening for the second time the other day. I think it was because I get in front of orgasm and started breathing earlier. I wasn't left depleted but felt more radiant after. Not sure if that all makes sense...

Hi Capucine/Dogboy, Yes I keep hearing about siddhasana, but I assume pple mean practicing siddasana during meditation and not during sex obviously (that would be difficult wouldn't it!) I'm also a bit confused... so I know that I really need to be grounding myself alot right now and I wouldn't doing spinal breathing and siddhasana be less grounding. Although there's been alot of sexual arousal there's also a feeling of ungroundedness, so do I really want to be bringing energy up? Sorry, confused here...

Blueraincoat/Sunyata, I haven't noticed any changes in my cycles in general related to spiritual practices and any mood shifts and physical changes are not ever related to my cycle- I've always considered myself lucky in that realm!

Thank you all for your responses!! C
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  05:33:56 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Chard
I haven't noticed any changes in my cycles in general related to spiritual practices

It will happen with practice and time.
This is less charted territory than male yogi's sexuality simply because historically there have been fewer women yogis and they have not written on this topic.

What is written about men's tantric sex is hardy applicable to us. For women there is no end point, no climax. I don't see that the hold back method makes any sense to us. Women do not lose energy through intercourse, but through menstruation.

It does of course matter where you direct the energy. A lot of focus on svadhisthana chakra without lifting the energy towards higher centres will cause more energy to 'leak' into sexuality. On the other hand, directing the flow of energy upwards has to be self paced, as every yogi and yogini knows only too well. Brahmacharya is not attained in one day - that is as true for women as for men. At energetic level both sexes are the same, but not in our sexual bodily functions.
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Dec 11 2017 07:11:58 AM
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Charliedog
1552 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  07:54:26 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Chard,

Quote BlueRaincoat,
quote:
For women there is no end point, no climax.

I do not agree in this with Blue, women can have a climax, the climax is in swadistane. After this we are not depleted but radiant. If it is this way we can practice to stay in front of orgasm and lead the energy upwards (bramacharya)
Maybe some women are born natural bramacharya but not all of us.

Quote chard,
quote:
I don't know the word for it but perhaps you know what I mean. But I noticed that happening for the second time the other day. I think it was because I get in front of orgasm and started breathing earlier. I wasn't left depleted but felt more radiant after. Not sure if that all makes sense...

Yes to me it make sense, it is a proces and not an overnight happening to lead the energy upwards. It is powerful and not allowing yourself can lead to overload, so practice wisely and stop on time. Allowing yourself to late will lead to overload or depleting afterwards.

Keep breathing and relax. It is a not doing, it is an allowing to let the energy rise, and this works the same way as siddhasana in meditation.

This is a powerful energetic practice so if you do not feel grounded at this moment this could be the reason. Self-pace and ground.

When further in the proces sexual orgasm will change in divinity, we can have orgasms all over in balance, or no orgasms at all because we don't need them anymore. Life becomes divine.

The most important is to develop inner silence by two times a day meditation, you need balance.

https://www.aypsite.com/T45.html

https://www.aypsite.com/T62.html

PS: After reading the lessons of Yogani, I personally found there is not so much difference between male and female experiences, so read along 
Edited by - Charliedog on Dec 11 2017 09:49:33 AM
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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  08:51:59 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
I don't see that the hold back method makes any sense to us. Women do not lose energy through intercourse, but through menstruation.


Hi Blue,

It is true that the loss of energy through monthly cycles is much higher than intercourse (non tantric). But, I would say that Brahmacharya is as important for women as it is for men for spiritual advancement.



quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
the climax is in swadistane. After this we are not depleted but radiant. If it is this way we can practice to stay in front of orgasm and lead the energy upwards (bramacharya)


Yes.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 11 2017 08:58:37 AM
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  09:04:58 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Chard,

quote:
Although there's been alot of sexual arousal there's also a feeling of ungroundedness, so do I really want to be bringing energy up? Sorry, confused here...


If you are feeling ungrounded, then that is a sign that you need to self-pace your practices. That would mean cutting back especially on energy related practices such as siddhasana, pranayama, mudras and bandhas, as well as things like Tantric sexual practices.

Also, engaging in grounding practices is helpful. This is all covered in lesson 69:

Lesson 69 - Kundalini Symptoms, Imbalances and Remedies



When it comes to Tantric sex, simply staying in front of orgasm will help the energy rise upwards through the body, even if no other methods are used. It is a more stable and reliable method than attempting to divert energy at the last minute, by using the breath or other techniques such as sambhavi mudra. Those things certainly can work, but it can be a hit-and-miss affair, with less reliable results.


Christi
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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  09:08:33 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Chard

Great responses everyone! Thank you so much!
But I noticed that happening for the second time the other day. I think it was because I get in front of orgasm and started breathing earlier. I wasn't left depleted but felt more radiant after. Not sure if that all makes sense...



Hi Chard,

As Charliedog already mentioned.You can practice staying before the orgasm. And if there is a need to climax, it happens at Swadisthan. That energy travels throughout the body and surroundings.The radiant feeling that you describe. It's subtle yet it feels solid like you can grasp it.

May be just relax in the Stillness/Beingness rather than worrying about the breathing.

We don't have many spiritual literature on this topic so far from women's perspective. But, these days it's the rise of Kali- fierce tenderness. I'm sure we will see more of them in years to come.

Here's to Divine intoxication!



P.S. Christ- we cross posted.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 11 2017 09:25:29 AM
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  10:55:12 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
But, I would say that Brahmacharya is as important for women as it is for men for spiritual advancement.

OK, there must have been something very unclear in the wording of my post, because I never meant to imply that Brahmacharya is any less important for women than it is for men.

What I'm saying is that there are obvious physiological difference in male and female sexuality and most of the tantric techniques male yogis apply during intercourse are not applicable to women.

quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
After this we are not depleted but radiant.

My point exactly. There is no loss to a woman, so there is no reason to hold back, other than energetic overload. More to do with self-pacing, nothing to do with avoiding energy loss.
There is a caveat for women - if the energy is not ascending, it will stagnate on svadhisthana, resulting in heavier periods. I hesitate to say sexual intercourse is the culprit, because I know the lack of sex life in a woman often result in energy stagnating on lower chakras, and painful, heavy periods.
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Dec 11 2017 11:18:23 AM
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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  11:06:00 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat

quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
But, I would say that Brahmacharya is as important for women as it is for men for spiritual advancement.

OK, there must have been something very unclear in the wording of my post, because I never meant to imply that Brahmacharya is any less important for women than it is for men.

What I'm saying is that there are obvious physiological difference in male and female sexuality and most of the tantric techniques male yogis apply during intercourse are not applicable to women.



Yes, the physiology is different but the techniques are similar.
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  11:21:30 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Yes, the physiology is different but the techniques are similar.

The techniques we use in our sitting practices are the same, of course.
The techniques that are useful during sexual intercourse are not the same. How many women here have used blocking?  Hands up any one?
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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  11:23:12 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat

quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Yes, the physiology is different but the techniques are similar.

The techniques we use in our sitting practices are the same, of course.
The techniques that are useful during sexual intercourse are not the same. How many women here have used blocking?  Hands up any one?


Obviously not the ones which are directly related to the physiology. I'm bowing out.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 11 2017 11:24:00 AM
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  11:58:58 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Obviously not the ones which are directly related to the physiology.

Those are the ones I was talking about.

You see, I'm trying to infuse a bit of feminist spirit here  Just because men have written a lot more than women about sexual yogic practices and evolution, we don't have to assume everything that applies to them applies to us to the letter. Energetically it does, but the "hardware" is different, yes? That has some consequences at physiological level.

So blocking is the obvious technique with no relevance to women whatsoever. The other one that I seriously question is staying ahead of orgasm. Why would a woman do that? As Charliedog said, we get more radiant as a result of it. In my experience, sex gives a push upwards to the energy. That means self-pacing becomes a consideration. I have had highs after sex that led to serious overload (it depends on what kind of sex as well).

The question I'd put to other women here is: Have you experienced a loss of energy after orgasm? Please think about your pre-yoga days too. Has orgasm ever made you feel depleted? Because if it doesn't, what would be the point of avoiding it? Are we just complicating things for ourselves by thinking we should be holding back when if fact there is no benefit to it for a woman?

I have highlighted the word "energy" above because I would not assume all physiological discharges to equate to energy loss. Some of the stuff released is for lubrication only, so I would think there is no loss of vital fluids (like sperm), which is energetically costly for the body to replenish.

I'm asking what your experiences are, fellow yoginis. Not what you think they should be to match what guys are describing. Let's not worry about them for once  We need to write part of the tantra book for women. Copying everything from the men's book won't do. At least that is my impression.
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Dec 11 2017 12:05:26 PM
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  12:14:49 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi all,

quote:
The techniques that are useful during sexual intercourse are not the same. How many women here have used blocking? Hands up any one?





I think blocking is the only Tantric sexual practice that can be used by men and not by women. All the other left-hand tantric practices such as the hold-back method, siddhasana, sambhavi mudra, mulabandha, pranayama and so on, can be used by both men and women during tantric sex. "Advanced siddhasana for men" cannot be used by women, but then there is "advanced siddhasana for women".

On the subject of energy depletion after orgasm for women, I have had women tell me that they do experience energy depletion after orgasm, some say that they would only experience energy depletion after multiple orgasms in one session, and some say that they do not experience energy depletion at all. So it could be the case that it is different for different women?

Added to that, is the fact that there are two different kinds of orgasm that women can experience, one based in the pelvic area and the other being a full-body orgasm. Some women report that they experience energy loss from the first kind of orgasm, but not from the second.

Eventually, both men and women are able to become fully orgasmic (whole body), all of the time, with no energy loss. So, the whole process of sexual transformation is quite a complex one, where it is difficult to make generalizations. Some general patterns do exist though and there is a process of becoming increasingly refined and ecstatic 24/7, as the process continues. The physical differences between men and women become increasingly less important as this process refines, because the sexual act becomes increasingly an energetic union, rather than a physical one.

Looking forward to the "Tantra for women" book!


Christi
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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  12:29:01 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
On the subject of energy depletion after orgasm for women, I have had women tell me that they do experience energy depletion after orgasm, some say that they would only experience energy depletion after multiple orgasms in one session, and some say that they do not experience energy depletion at all. So it could be the case that it is different for different women?

Added to that, is the fact that there are two different kinds of orgasm that women can experience, one based in the pelvic area and the other being a full-body orgasm. Some women report that they experience energy loss from the first kind of orgasm, but not from the second.

Eventually, both men and women are able to become fully orgasmic (whole body), all of the time, with no energy loss. So, the whole process of sexual transformation is quite a complex one, where it is difficult to make generalizations. Some general patterns do exist though and there is a process of becoming increasingly refined and ecstatic 24/7, as the process continues. The physical differences between men and women become increasingly less important as this process refines, because the sexual act becomes increasingly an energetic union, rather than a physical one.


Christi


Yes!
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  12:43:40 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Bodhi Tree's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Yay for full-body orgasm!

Consult this song for further guidance (seriously): https://youtu.be/hi4pzKvuEQM

It's not merely about holding back, or being celibate, or any of those other minor details. It's about throwing oneself into a spiral of making love with all of life through every action and gesture. That's what the sutra "inner sensuality" is targeting.

The women who are rollerskating in that video are clearly orgasming through every muscle in their body (in a subtle, graceful way), and they're doing it for the benefit of all (service). Real tantra is not just about indulging in ecstasy with your personal partner; it's about spreading the good vibes through artistry and craftsmanship that reach beyond our privacy.

Then we can all be gliding in ecstasy together, regardless of the sexual context.
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  12:55:11 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
I have had women tell me that they do experience energy depletion after orgasm, some say that they would only experience energy depletion after multiple orgasms in one session, and some say that they do not experience energy depletion at all. So it could be the case that it is different for different women?
That is a fair conclusion, based on those experiences. In which case there can't be a hard and fast rule that prescribes all women should stay ahead of orgasm. For some of us at least, it would be attempting to fix a problem we don't have.
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
Looking forward to the "Tantra for women" book!
It sounds like you have enough material to write it, Christi

quote:
Originally posted by Christi
The physical differences between men and women become increasingly less important as this process refines, because the sexual act becomes increasingly an energetic union, rather than a physical one.

Of course, when we're there, we no longer need the book. But let's not forget there was a time for each of us (or most of us) when the book was useful. That doesn't include you Cody, since you've always been enlightened, as we all know
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Dec 11 2017 1:05:08 PM
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  1:27:56 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Bodhi Tree's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat

That doesn't include you Cody, since you've always been enlightened, as we all know

Finally, the truth is spoken!
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  2:01:54 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi BlueRC,

quote:
That is a fair conclusion, based on those experiences. In which case there can't be a hard and fast rule that prescribes all women should stay ahead of orgasm. For some of us at least, it would be attempting to fix a problem we don't have.


That is not a conclusion I would like to jump to, too quickly. As you probably know, the hold back method is about more than retaining sexual energy. It is also about retaining sexual fluids, that are used as part of the production of amrita in the head. So in theory, even if a woman is experiencing orgasms, but not losing sexual energy through orgasm, she could be losing fluids that are important in the process of spiritual transformation.

So, that would be another question that could be put to women, whether orgasm affects the production of amrita? And if so, what kind of orgasm and how does it affect it?


Christi

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yogani
USA
5152 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  2:01:55 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit yogani's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat

The real loss of energy in a woman is through her monthly cycle. Every month the womb builds up a new lining, which is then thrown out with a significant loss of blood and the whole process starts over and over.

Hi BlueRaincoat:

This is very true and a distinct difference between female and male inner ecstatic energy dynamics. As has been discussed in the Plus Forum some time back, yoginis (female yoga practitioners) tend to have significantly less loss of energy in the menstrual cycle, in some cases having it cease altogether for months at a time. It is part of the process of human spiritual transformation, along similar lines as tantric "holdback" practices leading to the rise of sexual energy into the nectar cycle, resulting in full time whole body ecstacy.

Lessons T32, T74 and T77 go into more detail on the relationship of yoga and the menstrual cycle, including additional means for reducing menstrual symptoms and flow, effect on fertility, and related matters.

All the best!

The guru is in you.

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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  2:24:09 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Christi

That is not a conclusion I would like to jump to, too quickly. As you probably know, the hold back method is about more than retaining sexual energy. It is also about retaining sexual fluids, that are used as part of the production of amrita in the head. So in theory, even if a woman is experiencing orgasms, but not losing sexual energy through orgasm, she could be losing fluids that are important in the process of spiritual transformation.

So, that would be another question that could be put to women, whether orgasm affects the production of amrita? And if so, what kind of orgasm and how does it affect it?



That's exactly the experience here. With the practice of Brahmacharya- sweetness of breath, sweet intoxication has become part of life in spite of being only on Stage 1.5 of Kechari. The transformation is at the cellular physical level as we all know with these practices.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 11 2017 2:28:05 PM
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 11 2017 :  2:48:10 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
With the practice of Brahmacharya- sweetness of breath, sweet intoxication has become part of life

AYPadmin

  • Posts: 2269
Re: hold back question
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2019, 10:45:56 AM »
Charliedog
1552 Posts

 Posted - Dec 12 2017 :  06:06:54 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Great replies all
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
So, that would be another question that could be put to women, whether orgasm affects the production of amrita? And if so, what kind of orgasm and how does it affect it?



Having read this question, for me it depends on the stage we are in the process. It is possible to have orgasms at all chakra areas.

At a certain stage of inner lovemaking, bramacharya and the flow of amrita there is a choice. To choose for an occasional pelvic area orgasm, gives an extra strong upward flow of amrita, physical easy noticeable, it could bring one in 7th heaven or samadhi for a very long time.

Having said this, it's a proces, the pelvic area orgasm transforms, it's less easy and has no preference to bring the energy down and have a peak experience in the pelvic area. The whole body orgasm is more balanced without high peak and is in a way never ending. This makes it for filling all one needs. It fluctuates, sometimes incredibly sensual with a strong amrita flow, sometimes softly radiating and intoxicating like sunyata mentioned. It rejuvenates all cells of the body, that's the feeling.

With full body orgasm I mean the inner lovemaking allover if this makes sense.
This has nothing to do with sexual intercourse or a partner or so called tantra parties, however we can have that simultaneously of course if that is the preference.

PS Keep in mind that this proces is divine and delicate and I don't have so many English words in my vocabularies as you English natives.

 






Edited by - Charliedog on Dec 12 2017 06:22:32 AM
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 12 2017 :  07:17:04 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:

Having read this question, for me it depends on the stage we are in the process. It is possible to have orgasms at all chakra areas.

At a certain stage of inner lovemaking, bramacharya and the flow of amrita there is a choice. To choose for an occasional pelvic area orgasm, gives an extra strong upward flow of amrita, physical easy noticeable, it could bring one in 7th heaven or samadhi for a very long time.

Having said this, it's a proces, the pelvic area orgasm transforms, it's less easy and has no preference to bring the energy down and have a peak experience in the pelvic area. The whole body orgasm is more balanced without high peak and is in a way never ending. This makes it for filling all one needs. It fluctuates, sometimes incredibly sensual with a strong amrita flow, sometimes softly radiating and intoxicating like sunyata mentioned. It rejuvenates all cells of the body, that's the feeling.


Hi Charliedog,

What you describe is the same for men. An orgasm based in the pelvis, will tend to produce a strong temporary flow of amrita. However, repeatedly bringing the energy down into the lower chakras would not be desirable, as it would lower the whole energetic vibration of the body. Eventually it could even stop the natural production of amrita from happening.

quote:
PS Keep in mind that this proces is divine and delicate and I don't have so many English words in my vocabularies as you English natives.


Even a native English speaker is quite limited here. We only have one word for orgasm, and no word for amrita. Yogani once said that just as the Eskimos have many words for snow, one day we will have many words for bliss. I suspect that we will also have many words for orgasm and many words for amrita, to be able to describe the different kinds.


Christi

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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts

 Posted - Dec 12 2017 :  10:18:19 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Bodhi Tree's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Christi


We only have one word for orgasm

Hmmm...I'm not so sure about that...a few derivatives come to mind. #UrbanDictionary 
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Dogboy
USA
1585 Posts

 Posted - Dec 12 2017 :  10:33:39 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Bravo everyone! Great information, and thank you Chard for starting the thread, hope your concerns are being touched on.

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Chard
247 Posts

 Posted - Dec 14 2017 :  12:37:30 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Well this is a heck of a juicy topic -no pun intended (sorry if my sense of humor is offensive!!
Some great responses! A lot to respond to...
Bodhi, I like your perspective about tantra- I agree that its a practice that extends beyond merely the partners. I also often think of it as two people availing each other their bodies so they can make love to the Divine seen in each other?s eyes.

Christi/Blue/CD/DB/Yogani, thank you!
A lot to absorb...
I never made connection re loss of energy and menstruation although it makes sense. A point was raised re types of orgasms. From my perspective a pelvic orgasm can be energizing while the whole body orgasm depleting-maybe that?s not universal. I heard Sacred Chalis Awakening as another reference for this type of full body orgasm.

Wondering if anyone has participated in any tantra workshops you?d recommend? I?ve got enough on my plate now to do one but would be good to earmark for future.
I get a chuckle remembering that my husband and I participated in tantra workshop on topic of Orgasm, 6 mos after having our second child and were sleep deprived as hell and we started arguing about the electric bill to the point where teacher had to take us out of room and coach us on our budget! Needless to say I absorbed nothing about orgasm but got clarity on our finances! It?s amazing what comes up in tantra work!


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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 14 2017 :  07:34:38 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Chard,

quote:
A point was raised re types of orgasms. From my perspective a pelvic orgasm can be energizing while the whole body orgasm depleting-maybe that?s not universal. I heard Sacred Chalis Awakening as another reference for this type of full body orgasm.


Yogani's advice when it comes to tantric sex, is to avoid doing anything that would be depleting energetically. That means it is up to each individual to decide for themselves what they feel is energetically depleting and what is not:

"If there is no depletion, and an increasing energy flow, then what will a climax in that situation matter? If there is depletion, then it will matter more. What we are doing through a range of means is cultivating the neurobiology to continuously expand in ecstasy without depletion. Both the underlying principle and the practical metric are found in that, and the practice can favor it when we are able to choose in stillness. In fact, the entire process depends on stillness, which is the other half of the marriage of stillness and ecstatic conductivity occurring within us.

The guru is in you. " [Yogani]

from here


Of course, things can change for each individual over time, as Charliedog mentioned above, so what may be depleting for you today, may not be in 5 or 10 years time. Or even in 6 months time.


Christi
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1152 Posts

 Posted - Dec 14 2017 :  08:40:42 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Ok, I will throw in my two pence. I?m afraid I have neglected the tantra lessons and forum somewhat and there are stuff in this thread that I would have understood better had I paid it the attention it deserved. But from early lessons I got the impression that the techniques applied to men or couples. Like BR, I cannot see how the ?hold back?method is applicable to women. Seriously, can someone give a better description how that works for women?
I have lately experienced the whole body orgasm a number of times. I have realized what triggers it for me is a new attraction /connection to a man - not necessarily that this attraction culminates into physical relations. Side effects, as it is happening is giggling. I can?t stop giggling. Everything is suddenly hilarious. It does not result in an immediate energy loss but more radiance like reported. However, what is up must come down. Day one I am extremely radiant, day two I am depressed (is being depressed same as energy loss? )
And yes, normal pelvic orgasm during normal sex does result in an immediate energy loss for me. I will glow but feel drain right after sex.
As for effect on mentruation cycle - I missed that memo  . I started AYP at 40 yrs old, my period started getting phased out by 44 and stopped completely by 46 yrs old. I thought it was kind of early to be menopausal (not the case in my family) but did not associate it with practices.


Sey


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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 14 2017 :  10:02:21 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Sey,

The "hold back" method for women works like this: At a certain stage during love-making, when you feel that you are approaching orgasm, and you want to refrain from orgasm because it results in an energy loss, or a loss of sexual fluids which you wish to retain for the production of amrita, then you simply do less of the things that you would normally do to bring yourself to orgasm, or encourage your partner to do less of those things.

In that way you would "hold back" from reaching orgasm. Or, what can also happen, is that you can "hold back" from reaching one kind of orgasm, and instead achieve a higher form of orgasm, as the prana rises up through the body to the higher centres. So what could have ended in a second-chakra orgasm, becomes instead a heart-based orgasm, or what could have been a heart-based orgasm, simply dissolves into transcendence, moving beyond the sexual process all together into Pure Bliss Consciousness.

More from Yogani:

"Favoring pre-orgasmic cultivation is favoring pre-orgasmic cultivation, whether it is genital or higher up. The fact is, we are going to go for what we are inclined toward, and forcing it the other way will not help. But when we have a choice (increasingly with the rise of inner silence), we can gently favor pre-orgasmic cultivation. The tool of holdback works in any situation, always going higher and higher, dissolving in transcendence.

In time, sex expands to become full time ecstatic bliss and almost entirely non-physical, as some of the beautiful posts here have described. Whether we are having orgasms or not in that situation is almost beside the point. We will know what to do based on our own inner process and bhakti. " [Yogani]


And yes, I would say that feeling depressed is a sign of energy depletion. Of course with the whole process of energetic awakening, there are ups and downs in the process, so it is just a case of managing them as best we can.


Christi
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Charliedog
1552 Posts

 Posted - Dec 15 2017 :  05:05:15 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Thanks Christi for the old threads

Great information. For a long time I didn't know what I was doing after sudden kundalini awakening. These are not the questions we will easily ask to the yoga teacher we just met, and not even later on the journey. It is not easy to express if we just started with inner tantra work. Even many years later at teacher trainings, only the traditional Shiva and Shakti came along and questions never where answered directly. I missed that dearly.

Yogani is however right with this
quote:
We will know what to do based on our own inner process and bhakti. " [Yogani]
AYP answered all my unasked questions, first there was the process then the discovery of AYP.

One of my old favorite books is from Osho. Tantra. It is his translation or perspective on 'Song of Mahamudra" from the Indian mysticus Tilopa. That book gave me many answers, not about the physical side and practice, but about the yoga process behind, the transformation from conditional to unconditional love. I can easily resonate with the books of Osho, he was an important teacher to me.

Quote Sey,
quote:
I have lately experienced the whole body orgasm a number of times. I have realized what triggers it for me is a new attraction /connection to a man - not necessarily that this attraction culminates into physical relations. Side effects, as it is happening is giggling. I can?t stop giggling. Everything is suddenly hilarious. It does not result in an immediate energy loss but more radiance like reported. However, what is up must come down. Day one I am extremely radiant, day two I am depressed (is being depressed same as energy loss? )


Hi Sey,
This could be the moment to practice hold-back/bramacharya. Allowing the sexual energy to rise to the higher centers gives the freedom to be 'radiant' all the time and have the 'inner lovemaking' going on and on. This is not depending on touch or physical connection. We will be complete independent of others, at the same time we will be connected with everyone and everything.

As said the tantra lessons of Yogani are for male and female of high value and useful for couples and to use all by yourself (solo).
Edited by - Charliedog on Dec 15 2017 05:47:35 AM
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1152 Posts

 Posted - Dec 15 2017 :  07:26:47 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:


Hi Sey,
This could be the moment to practice hold-back/bramacharya. Allowing the sexual energy to rise to the higher centers gives the freedom to be 'radiant' all the time and have the 'inner lovemaking' going on and on. This is not depending on touch or physical connection. We will be complete independent of others, at the same time we will be connected with everyone and everything.

As said the tantra lessons of Yogani are for male and female of high value and useful for couples and to use all by yourself (solo).


Other activities that trigger it for me is anything that has pushed my Bhakti really high. Like you say -this is not dependent on touch or physical connection, I am not touching myself when it goes off nor do I do so during the course of multi-orgasm that follows until it they die down - I just hold on for the ride (giggling)
As for the radiance after the event - the other day it was so powerful, I could see it a couple of meters in front of me as I walked through the airport. It was so strange, I was practically gliding on air within a sphere of light. time appeared to have slowed down. People simply parted in front of me to let me through, others stopped and stared.

I do not have control on when it will happen either. So like Yogani says - maybe not the most consistent form of practice.

@ Christi - thank you.

Sey
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 15 2017 :  1:41:25 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply

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Chard
247 Posts

 Posted - Dec 18 2017 :  11:49:59 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
So speaking of orgasms, on the heels of this thread ironically I had a client the other day discussing with me the different types of multiple orgasms that she has with her ?twin flame boyfriend? (literally what she calls him!) and she was talking about crying while having an orgasm and I?ve heard of that referred to as ?crygasm.?
I was reminded about being 17 yrs old and having sex for the first couple times with my now husband (my only sex partner) and crying hard feeling like it was a divine sacred experience and feeling so connected to God. In those moments I felt the sacredness of sexual union as a way to connect with God more fully and i think through this realization casual sex with random people was never my style - just never appealed to me.
Has anyone had a crygasm?
Once again grateful for this forum to share safely such personal things.
C
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 19 2017 :  08:01:26 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
So in theory, even if a woman is experiencing orgasms, but not losing sexual energy through orgasm, she could be losing fluids that are important in the process of spiritual transformation.

Not something I've ever noticed, apart from lubricating fluids, which occur at the beginning of sex and surely must continue being produced while having tantric sex, otherwise intercourse would be rather uncomfortable!

On the other hand, I've just read in Wikipedia, under Skene glands, that a number of women report losing a significant amount a fluid as a result of vaginal stimulation. Which brings me back to the conclusion that there is no hard and fast rule about the suitability of the hold back method for women.

I think Yogani just hit the nail on the head when he wrote:
"If there is no depletion, and an increasing energy flow, then what will a climax in that situation matter?"

quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere
It does not result in an immediate energy loss but more radiance like reported. However, what is up must come down. Day one I am extremely radiant, day two I am depressed (is being depressed same as energy loss? )

I would say that is a bit of an energetic overload. Highs are inevitably followed by lows and we can get this from overdoing yoga practices. When the system is cleaned it will be all peaceful radiance, but in the meantime some emotional swings will occur.
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 19 2017 :  08:05:01 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
With the practice of Brahmacharya- sweetness of breath, sweet intoxication has become part of life in spite of being only on Stage 1.5 of Kechari. The transformation is at the cellular physical level as we all know with these practices.

Sunyata, what did you mean by Brahmacharya when you wrote this? No periods? Sexual abstinence? Both?
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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 19 2017 :  09:19:18 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat

quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
With the practice of Brahmacharya- sweetness of breath, sweet intoxication has become part of life in spite of being only on Stage 1.5 of Kechari. The transformation is at the cellular physical level as we all know with these practices.

Sunyata, what did you mean by Brahmacharya when you wrote this? No periods? Sexual abstinence? Both?



Hi Blue,

Hugs.

I'm in a partnership so abstinence is out of the equation. I've already explained the monthly cycle situation in the plus forum. No loss of sexual fluids, letting the energy rise to higher centers as Christi has explained in detail. It has been this way for few years now and greatly enhanced the quality of life.


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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 19 2017 :  10:05:01 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
A good advertisement for AYP Plus, Sunyata 

quote:
Originally posted by Chard
I never made connection re loss of energy and menstruation

It is not something we can easily observe because, unlike men, who can (with a bit of luck) abstain from ejaculating, a woman cannot directly influence her cycle. The amount of energy the body puts into it can only be reduced with yoga practice. How much energy is saved becomes obvious only when periods reduce or stop.

That is why I think it is useful to hear from women who can compare sexuality before starting on the yoga path with sexuality as experienced by an advanced yogini. And by comparing our experiences, we may be able to figure out what practices make a difference to women. It seems the jury is still out on the hold back method. You'll have to keep an eye on your own energy level. If there is a dip after orgasm, then it makes sense to hold back. If there isn't, not much point bothering with it. With rising inner silence, you will know what is right for you.
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 19 2017 :  11:54:14 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Blue,

quote:

Not something I've ever noticed, apart from lubricating fluids, which occur at the beginning of sex and surely must continue being produced while having tantric sex, otherwise intercourse would be rather uncomfortable!

On the other hand, I've just read in Wikipedia, under Skene glands, that a number of women report losing a significant amount a fluid as a result of vaginal stimulation. Which brings me back to the conclusion that there is no hard and fast rule about the suitability of the hold back method for women.


Yes, as I understand it, there are at least two different fluids that women can produce during sex, the vaginal lubrication fluid which is produced by the Bartholin's glands and another liquid which is produced by the Skene's glands. The latter can be produced in quite large quantites and is only released during orgasm. A woman can lose a lot more fluid than men can. The most recent studies show that only about 40% of women experience the release of this second kind of fluid.

I believe that the lubrication fluid that is produced naturally is not an issue when it comes to brahmacharya. It is the loss of the second fluid that can be released during orgasm that could be an issue.


Christi
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 19 2017 :  12:06:00 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
I think you mix two things, (please correct me if I am wrong) the periodes and the sexuality.

You are not wrong and I mix them on purpose. I do not think you can talk of women Brahmacharya without including the menstrual cycle in the picture. It is a very obvious sacrifice we are making to reproduction, of which the periods are only the visible sign. Between the periods the loss of energy continues, every minute of every day, as the womb prepares itself for pregnancy. And every month it throws all that effort away, only to start over.

In fact, when I first posted on this thread, I was wondering if engaging in sex belongs in the Brahmacharya picture at all when it comes to women. Judging by my own experience, I might have concluded it's nothing but a red herring. But it seems there may be women who do lose energy through having sex, so the picture there appears to be quite mixed.
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 19 2017 :  12:20:09 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by Christi
The most recent studies show that only about 40% of women experience the release of this second kind of fluid.

That's interesting.
What the research does not tell us is whether these 40% of women are the ones who feel energetically depleted after sex. Of course the substance secreted by the Skene's glands is not the perfect homologous to sperm, as the later includes many millions of reproductive cells.
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 19 2017 :  1:06:08 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi BlueRC,

quote:

What the research does not tell us is whether these 40% of women are the ones who feel energetically depleted after sex. Of course the substance secreted by the Skene's glands is not the perfect homologous to sperm, as the later includes many millions of reproductive cells.


I think it would be safe to say that none of the sexual fluids produced by women are homologous to sperm. However, the important questions would be whether loss of fluids are energetically depleting, and whether it affects the production of amrita and if so, to what extent?

Then of course, there is the broader question of energetic depletion, regardless of any loss of fluids, and how much that effects women.

Certainly more research is needed into the whole subject of brahmacharya for women and it is clearly not as simple as it is for men.


Christi
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1152 Posts

 Posted - Dec 20 2017 :  07:06:51 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
I don't think it is the loss of fluids that is energy depleting in women, it is the build up of energy required to climax and of course, depending how active and intense sex was.
And yes, Blue, I agree - I am definitely overloading with my recent highs and lows. Unstable. I am trying to self-pace.


Sey
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Charliedog
1552 Posts

 Posted - Dec 20 2017 :  07:29:42 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Blue,

Thanks, what you say makes sense to me, reading the whole thread again, you showed me the bigger picture

Still it is my believe I personally needed 'hold back' at that time to let the energy rise.
Edited by - Charliedog on Dec 20 2017 07:48:36 AM
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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 20 2017 :  09:09:17 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Excellent points and explanations everyone.

I agree with Charliedog that hold back method is as equally effective for female practitioners as it is for males. It's part of the inner alchemy for higher functioning of the nervous system. Highly energetic requiring self-pacing at times. Hold back is the natural evolution of the physical body where embodiment happens.

Using hold back vs not using is like flying in Business class vs Economy in an airplane. Yes, there will be turbulence experienced in both as they are in the same airplane. But, there is more spaciousness, lightness and comfort in Business class. Just the overall experience is much sweeter.

Edited by - sunyata on Dec 20 2017 10:56:09 AM
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Charliedog
1552 Posts

 Posted - Dec 20 2017 :  10:50:42 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Charliedog's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
 
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1490 Posts

 Posted - Dec 20 2017 :  1:42:22 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by SeySorciere
I don't think it is the loss of fluids that is energy depleting in women, it is the build up of energy required to climax

That is exactly what my experience points to.
Energy loss through sex has never been a issue for me, ever. The issue is rather the opposite. It's more like there is no vent through which the energy will be released, so it builds up and can become too much. That's the "Enough sex for now" moment, "I need a break".
It's an issue of self-pacing rather than energy loss.

AYPadmin

  • Posts: 2269
Re: hold back question
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2019, 10:46:10 AM »
Chard
247 Posts

 Posted - Dec 20 2017 :  9:39:24 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Sunyata I love your analogy of the airplane...I?m laughing thinking about how I posted under Satsang section about my fear of flying...I should just seat myself in business class and have start having multiple orgasms...that shall surely handle my fear of turbulence!!! Then I?ll write book called Airplane Tantra: Flying By the Seat of My Pants!!
Hysterical!! Oh god!!

By the way, great posts everyone and great thread!
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Christi
United Kingdom
3543 Posts

 Posted - Dec 21 2017 :  04:34:20 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
 


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sunyata
USA
1395 Posts

 Posted - Dec 21 2017 :  08:10:24 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Chard,

There you go..the rise of creativity. It's always a joy to read your posts.You had me rolling for few days with the tantra workshop and electric bill story.

In divine intoxication & friendship.
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Chard
247 Posts

 Posted - Dec 23 2017 :  12:10:16 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Thank u Sunyata for appreciating my posts! Glad u got a chuckle

My apologies for diverting the flow of conversation...carry on!