quote:
Originally posted by adrift05
Thanks for the reply. I just can't help but be drawn to meditating. It helps with the chaotic motions both internally and externally. Do you think meditating for about 15 minutes a day is overdoing it? How much is too much? I have been also experiencing on and off intense desirous feelings that occur in my lower chakra and sometimes expanding upward to create a large, occluding pressure in my forehead--i don't understand this and I'm not very much liking it, because it makes me feel very...sexual, of which i'm pretty uncomfortable with. The breathing techniques seem to only help a little. Ah. I don't know what to do anymore besides riding with the flow, and complying with whatever my body wants. I wonder how long this process will last, because this is getting to be too overwhelming considering my current environment.
Dear Adrift,
You are not alone in this. There are many people here who have experienced or are experiencing the same journey.
The fear that all this might overwhelm you in the wrong way, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, is more the problem than whether it actually will.
Physical exercise and solid grounding food (pasta, potatoes, pudding) should not be overlooked as basic aids to stability. Keep busy too. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you need to stop normal life until the process of change is over. Persevere as you are with daily life.
There are those on this forum who do less than 15 minutes a day meditation when experiencing turbulence such as yours. Only you can work out how much helps and how much makes life more inconvenient
As time goes by, if you can relax and not become preoccupied with them, you will become more used to these phenomena and less troubled by them, and they will eventually turn into an openness, freedom and peace that in an obscure way you already know is your true state. They will themselves lead you there, and tell you how much practice and of what kinds to do, and you really won't be given more than you can handle.
Trust, courage, patience, are the dispositions to cultivate, and prayer can help here.
If you experience fear, just internally turn towards it and face it, 'stare' at it, it is a paper tiger and will abate. Don't internally 'run away' and try to elude it, this will encourage panic.
One of the saints I have known in my life, a spiritual director to many people, as he got older abandoned all the books he had written and his enormous erudition about medieval mystics and spirituality, and said that at the end of the day, all he was teaching was 'letting go', this was all that was necessary. The phenomena you are experiencing leave you nowhere to go but to let go. They point you in the direction you need to go.
It's an entirely natural process. Go with the flow as you say, but as sensibly and gently as you can. There's no rush. Be kind to yourself. All will pass, and peace will come.
chinna
