Handling Weird Energy and Overall Transformation

[Jim and His Karma]

We get a lot of postings asking about whether it's "ok" if we get flashes of heat or energy or other sorts of drama. I thought I'd share my observations.

I sometimes feel like I'm living an episode of Bewitched or something. Sometimes it feels like steam geysers are shooting out of my hands or arms, I get buzzing as if cell phones are going off in "vibrate" mode in different parts of my body. It's not "normal" stuff, it feels positively inhuman, and for a while it made me feel special.

But after a while, it stops feeling unusual (ala Bewitched). It's just stuff. If you get these little zany indications, don't be alarmed, your body's become a construction zone - and you have nothing to do with it anyway, so just let it happen. The letting it happen is part of the whole process, too. I don't pry/analyze/probe around much, which is surprising, because I'm the analytical type. It's just like "A nova just shot out of my nose. Heh-heh. Cool." I notice it with bland detachment.....very Beavis and Butthead.

And the practical applications are pretty much null. The energy effects don't allow me to "do" anything special, and nobody else notices or cares, and, really, it's all just side effect. The good stuff is that I'm gradually losing my tendency to love the universe less when I don't get my way and things aren't "just right".

[Kyman]

Expectation forsakes the prize, for the fight.

[Etherfish]

I get weird vibrations too, and i haven't even had a kundalini stir yet. i've always had some weird vibrations, so I thought it was one of those. If I lay down and listen to music in the headphones, at the point where I almost drift off to sleep but am still listening, I feel the bass and drums in my feet. Years ago it startled me, and I would jerk off the headphones thinking somebody was knocking, or earthquake or explosion. Then I eventually noticed that it coincided with the music.
But now sometimes my body vibrates like that without music playing.
I think it's an earthquake, but realize it's a vibration, completely unlike any of the many earthquakes I've been in. I never attributed it to meditation, but now i'm wondering. . .

[Kyman]

Does it start at your toes and then move up?  You might be experiencing the nervous system in a sort of shutdown mode.

Feels tingly, and often, extremely extremely good.

[Scott]

Consciousness transforms too...it's not simply buzzing parts in the body.  It can become scary because you lose control.  I have to try to stay away from all things spiritual, otherwise I start flowing and it affects my brain.

I even notice it when I come to this website, or when I go to church.

[Jim and His Karma]

Scott,
You never had control in the first place. It was an illusion. When you start to drop your delusion that you are in control, the energy that has always been around and in you (you're steeping in it...in fact, you ARE it) becomes more free-flowing. If it seems scary to lose your illusion of control, consider, by contrast, how well the so-called control has worked for you all your life. How much peace and happiness have you found by grasping for things and trying to make the world be as you'd like it? Does it feel enduringly great when you get the results you want? How does it feel when you don't? We're in hell. It doesn't get scarier than that. If you think about it, there's literally nothing to lose. So we might as well let it all go. You won't bump your head as you fall, promise.

Flowing is good. That's what the universe does, in spite of our determination to freeze ourselves and our environments into a static safe zone. But if you start feeling overwhelmed, take long walks. They're grounding. Your stillness is rock-steady and unchanging. So any disorientation is literally just in your mind. Just don't lead with your mind.

Oh, and the consciousness and the energy are one and the same. Everything's consciousness. It's unfathomably beautiful.

[Scott]

Good advice, Jim.  It seems I just need to avoid all things spiritual.  I was listening to the radio today and a piece of news came on about the pope, and they played a sound clip of him speaking in his native language.  When he started talking "it" started happening intensely, so I had to shut it off and put on a rap cd.  Otherwise I don't know what will happen to me..."it" is like a drug.  Not good to have happen to me while driving...because my mind alters.

But even if I'm not driving, I still become afraid.  I guess ultimately, I don't want to lose my life as it is.  I'm afraid of that.  Logically, I know I have no control.  Yet, I have no control about how I feel about this.  You know?  It's not something that can simply be pacified by kind words, or by thinking rationally.  It's just something I've gotta live through, and learn the hard way, it seems.

So I'm just trying to live my life now.  I can't even go to church with my family without getting some weirdness.  It's not even just energy anymore.  Energy things happen in the body all the time, whether or not I do anything about it...but it's consciousness now.  My sense of things in the world..my subjective experience...it changes when "it" happens.

All I can say is that whoever is on the path has my respect, because I'm almost too wimpy to continue on..if I have a choice, that is.  All the talk I've done before about spirituality has been in vain.  It was always about feeling like I was accomplishing something, I guess.  Then when the reality of it hits me, I'm the one that's absolutely not ready.  It's so easy to say "let go!" yet so so so so so so so so hard to actually do it...at least for me.

Anyway, thank you for your words Jim.  I appreciate you trying to help me out.  Hopefully it has helped in one way or another...unconsciously maybe.

I just want to say, also, that it's very easy to let things go when you're not forced to let things go.  It's hard to let things go when you're confronted.  And by letting things go, I mean mentally letting completely everything go.  When you stand on the edge of a cliff not having packed your own parachute, but just trusting that it's been packed....I guess that's a good comparison.  Or you're standing on the edge of a cliff...it'd be scarier to be pushed than to jump yourself.  That's how it is with me lately, when "it" happens.  "It" happening is like the unknown, and I'm about to dive into it head first.  What's at stake here?  Everything I've built up in this life.  My relationships, my sanity...all the things I value can be torn to shreds.  That's how it seems to me at least, when "it" begins happening.

Anyway, I don't mean to hijack your thread Jim.  I just wanted to add that there's more to it than bodily changes.  Way more.  If you think about it, all of the chemicals and hormones being released as a result of the kundalini rising must cause great changes in how the brain functions.  That's what it seems like to me, when "it" begins happening.  That a chemical is being released by my body, and it begins reacting to it.  It is kind of like crystal meth, which I have tried twice in my life.  The same type of brain activity.  To describe it with simple words: hyper awakeness...clarity.  It's not what it seems like when you read those things, and you try to imagine what that would be like, of course.  (Also, I hope no one tries crystal meth because of this.  That drug ruined some of my friend's lives)

Hope this message has helped in some way.  Maybe in bringing more understanding about the subject of kundalini.

[weaver]

Hi Scott,

Thanks for sharing this.

This is what I understand too, that kundalini brings way more than bodily/energetic changes, it changes the entire consciousness of the individual from being ego-based to being universal. This includes, as you say, our values, beliefs and entire view of life. Kundalini will do this in any case, when she is active, whether we want it or not, there is no way to prevent it, except by making her dormant again. Resistance only causes pain or confusion.

This is where inner silence comes in, with enough inner silence the changes will not be overwhelming but can rather be seen as liberating. However, anyone who starts on this path should keep in mind (in my opinion) that they will be transformed and become one with God (can be expressed differently depending on one's faith, like Katrine so beautifully describes in being Home, or simply Being), and be aware of that "consequence", because that will be the ultimate outcome.

[Jim and His Karma]

Scott, if you're having kundalini energy issues, I completely understand what you're saying, and want to reassure you that a bit of grounding (which includes avoiding inspirating stuff, as you're doing) is helpful and appropriate. The problem is temporary, don't worry.

If that's not the issue, I believe that what you're experiencing is an emotional or mental issue.

But it sounds like the former. If so, your issue isn't with spirituality, the path, the practice, etc. it's just coping with a physical energy imbalance. I did, too (I carefully avoided music, art, attractive women, etc, for a couple weeks). It smooths out, don't worry. Long walks! And avoid spicy food, that's a big one. And if you have a skin rash, great. Watch it to gauge progress on the energy issue.

Things don't change as much as you think. Give it time. As you've noticed before, every opening brings a giddy feeling of bliss and excitement, and the impression that you're on the verge of something momentous. This is the mother of all openings. It's just more of that. Life goes on, believe me. You'll learn to integrate this, as you've integrated previous yoga openings.

[Kirtanman]

quote:Originally posted by Scott
 It is kind of like crystal meth, which I have tried twice in my life.  The same type of brain activity.  To describe it with simple words: hyper awakeness...clarity.  It's not what it seems like when you read those things, and you try to imagine what that would be like, of course.  (Also, I hope no one tries crystal meth because of this.  That drug ruined some of my friend's lives)

Hope this message has helped in some way.  Maybe in bringing more understanding about the subject of kundalini.

Hi Scott,

Thanks so much for sharing so much of your experience, so openly - I fully respect where you're coming from, and genuinely appreciate your comments.

I have also tried crystal meth - a bit more than twice.

It's as "bad news" as a chemical can be (and in my opinion, is by far the worst drug ever created - makes heroin seem benign) - but addiction to anything, especially strong chemicals, can ruin your life and/or kill your body.

If, per your post, someone is interested in similar experiences, I do recommend they try AYP, and specifically Tantric Sexual practices, instead of crystal meth.

Why?

As some reading this likely know, stimulating the second chakra - sexual energies, specifically -- acts as kind of a turbo-charger to Kundalini - and ultimately, over time (per AYP Tantra Lessons, and other yogic information) the essence of sexual energy is literally changed, and raised up through the sadhaka's system, to enhance its evolution.

How does this relate to what you wrote about crystal meth?

Well, as you may know, in recent decades, Western science has mapped the chakras to the body's endocrine system -- and related biochemical activities and effects.

One of the main bodily systems stimulated when sexual energy is activated is the adrenal system - which in turns gives us some of the common effects of sexual stimulation - dilated pupils, increased heartbeat, rapid breathing, etc.

When we snort a line of crystal meth, one of the main bodily systems that is activated is the adrenal system - which in turns gives us some of the common effects of crystal methamphetamine use - dilated pupils, increased heartbeat, rapid breathing, etc.

So, it's no wonder that some of the effects "seem" similar -- neurophysiologically, they are!

I would just much rather get there by caressing a beautiful female partner, than by nasally ingesting powdered poison.

And seriously, though - I've told some of my long-term friends (who knew me in my "never met a substance I didn't like" days) that the ecstatic conductivity I experience now, is FAR better than the best combination of all the sex and drugs I ever experienced.

Yogic bliss IS that great!

And I do fully respect that the way through can be scary.

I certainly don't know how to advise you there, other than to simply remind you that the guru is in you.



And, that the bumps get smaller, and the payoff gets bigger, as you continue.

Even today (all weekend, actually), I've had some weird stuff come roaring to the surface - very acutely -- memories from when I was in high school, or in my 20s -- strongly enough that I once shouted out a terse scream / shout, and another time, simply "F***!!"

(I don't know how the forum is regarding profanity -- but knowing it's all-ages, thought I should "asterisk appropriately"!)

The nature of the exclamation was my own sense of guilt, over the way I'd been in a given situation (different ones; little vignettes or memories popping up.)

Nothing like this has happened in years.

When it would happen before, I'd kind of obsess, or be afraid of "more".

Now, it's like, "Oh - weird --- but just thoughts. Just emotions. Some purification stuff going on. If it gets to be too much, I'll back off -- but maybe good to let it go, too."

Like that.

So, very un-fun -- but recent progress has enabled me not to be bowled over by it, and to realize that it's likely a good thing / release, as long as I can handle it -- and so far, it seems I can.

I used to let my mind scare me away from things. I don't do that any more. Doesn't mean I don't still get plenty scared at times - I just no longer think myself down roads that aren't in my best interest, by letting my mind run with "what if this?" and "what if that?"(hopefully; no claims to perfection in that, or anything else, mind you).

And I'm not saying this is how you should proceed -- just as you don't want someone trying meth due to your post, I don't want to hear that you drove off the road, because you let "it" happen fully, due to my post!

By all means, let your inner wisdom be your guide.

The guru IS in you.

Peace & Namaste,

Kirtanman

[Scott]

Weaver,

Thanks for your reply.

quote:However, anyone who starts on this path should keep in mind (in my opinion) that they will be transformed and become one with God (can be expressed differently depending on one's faith, like Katrine so beautifully describes in being Home, or simply Being), and be aware of that "consequence", because that will be the ultimate outcome.

There's a big difference in hearing or reading that, which seems great, versus going through it.  Though I'm sure it's not as scary or devastating for everyone.  Only for those with big nasty egos...like myself.  Thanks again, Weaver.

Jim,

Thank you as well.  You've always got level headed replies, which are the best kind.

 

quote:Scott, if you're having kundalini energy issues, I completely understand what you're saying, and want to reassure you that a bit of grounding (which includes avoiding inspirating stuff, as you're doing) is helpful and appropriate. The problem is temporary, don't worry.

If that's not the issue, I believe that what you're experiencing is an emotional or mental issue.

But it sounds like the former. If so, your issue isn't with spirituality, the path, the practice, etc. it's just coping with a physical energy imbalance. I did, too (I carefully avoided music, art, attractive women, etc, for a couple weeks). It smooths out, don't worry. Long walks! And avoid spicy food, that's a big one. And if you have a skin rash, great. Watch it to gauge progress on the energy issue.

Thanks...I'm sure it will smooth out.  I think it's a combination of the energy and an emotional/mental issue.  It's my feeling of being in control that's being threatened when the energy stirs.

As for grounding, I try to live my whole life as grounding.  I take several long walks a day...never meditate anymore...never do kundalini yoga activities...try to avoid reading anything about it...if I'm thinking about it I try to move onto something else.  I eat a normal diet, without much spice...even though I do really like spicy mexican dishes.

So I think I'm definitely good on grounding.

quote:Things don't change as much as you think. Give it time. As you've noticed before, every opening brings a giddy feeling of bliss and excitement, and the impression that you're on the verge of something momentous. This is the mother of all openings. It's just more of that. Life goes on, believe me. You'll learn to integrate this, as you've integrated previous yoga openings.

Very true.

Kirtanman,

Thank you for sharing YOUR experiences.  Namaste.

quote:And I'm not saying this is how you should proceed -- just as you don't want someone trying meth due to your post, I don't want to hear that you drove off the road, because you let "it" happen fully, due to my post!

LOL.  Don't worry, I'm too big of a wuss I think.

[Jim and His Karma]

quote:I'm sure it will smooth out. I think it's a combination of the energy and an emotional/mental issue. It's my feeling of being in control that's being threatened when the energy stirs.

quote:
I...never meditate anymore...

Now I get it. I understand exactly what you're describing and what you're experiencing.  Your kundalini awoke prematurely, before you had sufficient stillness to live harmoniously with it, and it's creating stress because you are not at peace enough to allow the energy to direct you.

This is not a conflict you will ever "work out" with your cognitive mind. The best route is to unclench and get clearer on how things really are beyond the drama of the tempestuous, grasping narrative mind. I'd strongly suggest you cultivate stillness (not increase energy, not make big changes in your life, just cultivate stillness), and that can ONLY happen via meditation.

My strong suggestion is that you resume meditation (following AYP instructions (which is likely different than the meditation you'd previously done), suspending all energy-cultivating practices. Enough energy! I'd meditate in simple cross legged position, in bed with a pillow propped up behind your lumbar. No siddhasana, no asanas, no extras or tricks. Don't direct your mind, just let the mantra "do" you, like an internal masseuse.

If you're not happy with the result (judge results by real world feelings later on, not by the experiences during meditation), shorten the meditation time a bit.

I'd really urge this, Scott. My kundalini also awoke before I'd gotten far enough in stillness. I didn't quite hit the hump you're hitting, but I understand it. You're in a beautiful position to cultivate the stillness that will resolve the conflict. Just keep it real real simple.

[Scott]

Jim,

Do you think it will work itself out, without meditating?  It seems to me that meditating will just make it more intense.  Meditation is the only possible way to stillness?  I figured just living would eventually even itself out and bring stillness...and a balanced kind of stillness at that.  I am not sure..what do you think?

The Maha Siddha guru I had been talking with said to not meditate anymore, as well.  That I was just simply not ready for the path..."far far far from ready".  Dealing with that guru was tough, because it seemed like there was a blockage in communication despite us both speaking the same language.  She thought I was arguing when I was just simply seeking answers.

But about this whole thing...don't get me wrong.  My situation is not too bad right now.  If this is a premature awakening, then I hit the jackpot because it's a piece of cake.  I've heard some real horror stories.  Like people going nuts, and not knowing what they were doing.  Kind of like LSD trips.  I've experienced nothing like that.

quote:The best route is to unclench and get clearer on how things really are beyond the drama of the tempestuous, grasping narrative mind.

That's exactly the route that I seem to feel the best about taking.  K.I.S.S.  "Keep it simple, Scott!"

I just don't feel comfortable sitting still and meditating.  Especially cross legged.

[Jim and His Karma]

quote:Originally posted by Scott
Do you think it will work itself out, without meditating?

No. Energy issues work themselves out over time. Silence/stillness comes from meditation. If you don't cultivate it, it gets plastered over with the residues of the preoccupations of daily life. And having had a taste of higher states, you'll find it extra horrible sinking back into that muck (it'll become apparent how far you've sunk when things don't go your way and you find yourself CAUGHT). The problem is that the sinking happens faster and less consciously than the purifying, so it's like a ratchet wrench going the wrong way (hope that weirdo image is somewhat picturesque for you!). That's why I'm suggesting meditation with a good deal of vehemence.

If you're really concerned about meditating, balance with extra walking, physical exercise, and (as you're already doing a great job doing) staying level-headed and grounded. You're not looking to go places or develop anything. You just need to empty out and quiet down, and that's ONLY possible with meditation IMO.

Yep, you didn't do so bad considering the premature awakening. A bit worse than I did, but not by much. But I'm a year or two past it now, and I've got some perspective.  What I do NOT have is lots of details on your life (I haven't been following your postings...I haven't been reading this forum much, just happened to catch this thread). So while I'm pretty sure I'm giving good advice, do whatcha gotta do.

quote: I just don't feel comfortable sitting still and meditating.  Especially cross legged.

This sounds like an "issue", and I don't know enough about you to try to resolve it. But, in the end, you seem conflicted and stressed and in need of some level clarity and peace. Meditation is the ages-old presecription for  all that. Especially for you, with tons of energy trying to travel in knotted channels. Pretending the energy doesn't exist isn't a great solution. Untying some knots is more efficacious.

Your reluctance to do anything to increase the energy is very good, and surely stems from your inner guru. In my opinion, you're confusing the energy issue (which is in surplus for you) with the stillness issue (which is in deficit). It's not one whole ball of wax, so don't throw out the baby with the bathwater!  At very least, please browse the AYP main lessons for "silence". This, for example: http://www.aypsite.com/plus/235.html

Lots of Indian gurus think westerners are too materialistic for meditation, out of pure spiritual snobbery and xenophobia. I'm not saying that's the reason for your guru's statement, but do bear in mind that it's a common bigotry.
[/quote]

[Anthem]

Hi Scott,

Great advice from Jim, nothing to add there, just wanted to say that there is nothing to be afraid of and that as you go on with the process you will find more peace and love in your life. This is a good trip that you are on, don't worry it will all work out, the further you go, the better it gets.

Kundalini started off in a big and intense way for me where my perspective on life was thrown way out there, it was a bit of a re-learning process, but it all came around over-time, no doubt helped immensely by AYP practices. Now it is quiet and in the background for the most part, a silent friend making the trip easier for me (and more enjoyable).True my perspective on life has forever changed but in innumerable positive ways that have come to make my life a dream come true. It is an amazing ride, enjoy it!

A