Interreligious marriage

[Maximus]

I understand that many people who actively practise their religion only want to marry someone of their own religion. Since Yoga is all about getting a real understanding of things, has anybody of strong religous faith after started practising Yoga, gave up their preference to have a partner from the same religion? I would think that would be a natural outcome of Yoga. I don't want to offend anybody's faith, but some religions do forbid you from marrying someone of different religion, which to many people seem like nothing to do with maintaining one's relationship with God.
I had a very heated discussion about this topic on a dating website, and everybody there bashed me saying that religion is very important in marriage. I would like to see if people practising Yoga have a different opinion on this. My take on this is that it is already difficult to find a good life partner without all the restrictions on religion so why not simply fall in love, and like a true Karma Yogi say "Consequences be damned".

[weaver]

...it is already difficult to find a good life partner without all the restrictions on religion so why not simply fall in love, and like a true Karma Yogi say "Consequences be damned".

Hi Maximus,

Yes, there is of course (in most jurisdictions) no law stating that you can't marry someone of a different religion. So why not dare to see issues like this with an open mind, like you do? However, most have probably found through history that life in a marriage has a higher chance of success and mutual understanding if the partners have the same religion. But I don't think that is because of the nature of religion itself vs. marriage, but rather because many may have a limited view of religion and how it can apply in their life.

If both partners are able and willing to live up to the highest principle of any religion, which is unconditional love, and see that in this there are no conflicts between any religions, then they could live happily together and understand the other's religion perfectly. However, if not, then it's good to be aware that it will take a lot more effort to share a life with someone of a different religion, even if there is a lot of "falling in love", which may not be unconditional, and which may not last through the whole marriage. It's good to be aware of possible consequences, because otherwise things may turn out very unexpectedly.

[Etherfish]

I think something we learn as we get closer to God is that he doesn't favor one religion over another. Religions are preferences people have, not God.
As Weaver said, what God honors is whatever causes people to treat each other well, not the little rules they impose on each other.

So there is a whole spectrum of people, from those who hold religious rules to be all important, to people (like me) who honor religious beliefs, but don't like organized religion. People like me believe God is to be found in yourself, no matter what your background.

So whether people from different religions can intermarry also depends on whether people believe God is committed to the minor rules of their religion.

[sadhak]

Hi Maximus,
These strong feelings about religious identity are, in my view, the result and cause of much of the divisiveness in our world.

I agree with Etherfish and Weaver that when people are focused on 'God' or 'truth' rather than only the means (which for most people is an end), there will be no religious issues in an inter-religious marriage. In fact each stands to learn from the other and expand too. But if both partners don't share this view, there could be trouble.

I have an inter-religious marriage and we feel both of us have grown a lot more than if we had shared the same religion.

[Etherfish]

I bet the worst problems are caused by the families.

[sadhak]

True Etherfish, but if you're not sure of what you're doing and what you believe in, only then can any serious damage be done by anybody including families. The rest only test your conviction and commitment.

[david_obsidian]

but if you're not sure of what you're doing and what you believe in, only then can any serious damage be done by anybody including families. The rest only test your conviction and commitment.

I think that over-reaches quite a bit. Families (and others) can do damage even if you are sure of what you do and what you believe in.

[sadhak]

Hey David,
Sorry to be stirring so late... I've become very irregular here, as is apparant. (And I can't blame external factors for this -- it is definitely me )

Maximus's question was whether the religion of your partner (being the same as yours) is important when practising yoga. And Ether said, I bet the worst problems are caused by the families. .

In this context I'd say(and I just bounced this off my partner) external factors can cause damage only to the external self. (physical, financial). But if the partners in their relationship are internally strong, and believe in each other's freedom, there can't be an internal damage.

Somewhat like our sitting in meditation. When you are internalised, even extreme external noises, distractions, etc do not disturb. If not, even the smallest discomfort, the smallest noise, smell, etc is a huge problem.

This is what I meant when I said serious damage can't be done to the relationship by families and other external factors. The relationship's strength is an internal force.

[Etherfish]

The damage they can do is by forcing you to choose between your family and your lover. Not just for a day or week. You'd be surprised how many couples are forced to leave their families forever, so often they leave their lover instead.