sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 08:37:05 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Topic Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Message Delete Topic
Hi Friends,
Just wanted to talk to you all about relationships. I can count on my three fingers I have a hard time being around. The ego comes in forefront with them . Even the days when there is a lot of openness- the heart contracts and I get severe headaches. It always happens. I feel that this is the way it's going to be for the rest of this life. Even if I just reside in the openness, the body contracts. I guess the body recognizes the past pains and our energetic interactions.
I cannot avoid these relationships because it's my significant other's family. We see them once a week.
Life flows other than when I'm around them. I have even accepted the uncomfortable sensations being around them. But that does not make it any easier.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 14 2015 08:50:32 AM
So-Hi
USA
481 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 09:13:54 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Hi Sunyata have you discussed this with your significant other? This might go a long way towards lessening the impact on your very being.
There might be some friction but if the person in your life holds you in the position of importance they should, then they should honor and respect you and take your side. If they do not then it may just take them a while to work out whatever comes from discussing this; it could take years.
In the end though if they are not with you then it is a problem.
I have encountered similar issues with my relatives on my side that is and I actively avoid them and have made it known to others in the family that where they are to be found my wife and I shall be absent.
It took allot of trespasses on their part to get me to this point but once I had decided enough was enough, I pulled the rope and let the blade drop.
Yeah it hurt but you know what it is nothing compared to the ongoing crap.
Life is to short to be lived in the company of those that cause such a reaction, no one should punish themselves this way.
Sooner or later the disconnect will happen anyway so face it bravely and be true to yourself, it is not easy but then again who ever said relationships with people are?
My 2cents worth.
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Hi Friends,
Just wanted to talk to you all about relationships. I can count on my three fingers I have a hard time being around. The ego comes in forefront with them . Even the days when there is a lot of openness- the heart contracts and I get severe headaches. It always happens. I feel that this is the way it's going to be for the rest of this life. Even if I just reside in the openness, the body contracts. I guess the body recognizes the past pains and our energetic interactions.
I cannot avoid these relationships because it's my significant other's family. We see them once a week.
Life flows other than when I'm around them. I have even accepted the uncomfortable sensations being around them. But that does not make it any easier.
Edited by - So-Hi on Dec 14 2015 09:20:47 AM
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Charliedog
1528 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 09:54:42 AM Show Profile Email Poster Visit Charliedog's Homepage Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Dear Sunyata,
It is not easy, but I agree with So-Hi in this.
Speaking for myself I had a long time of exactly the same feelings as you have now. One day it was really enough I could not make another choice then for myself. I became physically ill if I forced myself to go on with holding up appearances. I broke up with them and I never regret it. It was a relief. Except for the quilt feelings there were to my husband because it is his family.
He did the same, not for me, but because he felt the same way in this. I however had for a long time quilt feelings to him in this. But if you ask me now many years later, I would have done the same.
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 10:24:13 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Hi So-Hi and Charliedog,
Thank you for your response. It's almost been close to a decade. My significant other likes to not see it and pretend everything is okay. He's been a little bit better at recognizing than before. But like Charliedog says- it makes me physically ill. My side of the family lives half way around the globe and I'm surrounded by his side of family.
It's not easy being in this situation.
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Charliedog
1528 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 11:38:41 AM Show Profile Email Poster Visit Charliedog's Homepage Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
I wish you much strength in this situation Sunyata.
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 12:21:11 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
You know what you are doing and I am confident you will make the choices that are right for you.
Just remember one thing you have the right not to suffer and no one has the right to expect you to suffer for any reason, as there is no reason sufficient.
This is your life too you know.
That you have brought this up in an open forum says allot, listen closely to yourself. This situation really is not alright with your inner self, otherwise it would not be coming out.
I can not wish you strength because you clearly posses that and endurance already, I can only wish you clarity in making your life path and perhaps the ability to endure change if needed, you will know..
quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
I wish you much strength in this situation Sunyata.
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Charliedog
1528 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 1:05:37 PM Show Profile Email Poster Visit Charliedog's Homepage Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
What I mean with strenght is that you need this to make a choice that not is easy. Nobody can take this for you. I know you understand what I mean.
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 1:35:55 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Charliedog
quote:
I can only wish you clarity in making your life path
Thank You, So-Hi. I've asked my Isthas for clarity . It's hard for me to make a decision. I don't know what's best.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 14 2015 1:41:11 PM
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 3:15:21 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Dear Sunyata remember to give yourself the freedom to make a mistake also have the wisdom to arrange conditions so that you can recover from a mistake.
For example before quitting a job make sure you have one to take it's place.
Before moving make sure you can cover a years worth of expenses; you know safety nets. Being bold and decisive is one thing being stupid can hurt allot.
I am certain you have discovered that in this life we often do not know what we want or what is best, but we almost always know what we do not want and if we are honest with ourselves we know that which is not good for us, even if we are not sure what is good for us.
Sometimes if we do not know what we want then we have to start enumerating the things we do not want and use a process of elimination and allow what remains to be our decision.
I would say start enumerating and see if the clarity does not come, you might be surprised by what you already know.
It is ok to be afraid also. It is also ok to continue to suffer but when you are at the point of discussion with others, well it just seems to me like you are coming close to making some decisions or at-least recognizing that you want to.
It takes guts to share as you have and I am sure everyone reading this can not only pick up on some of what you are going through but wish you our very best.
From me I say you are going to be okay whatever you decide or do not decide.
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Charliedog
quote:
I can only wish you clarity in making your life path
Thank You, So-Hi. I've asked my Isthas for clarity . It's hard for me to make a decision. I don't know what's best.
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1462 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 3:41:39 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Hi Sunyata
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
I guess the body recognizes the past pains and our energetic interactions.
Are you saying they treated you badly in the past and this is causing your present reaction? Or is there something they are doing now that is not OK with you?
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 3:59:18 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
I am certain you have discovered that in this life we often do not know what we want or what is best, but we almost always know what we do not want and if we are honest with ourselves we know that which is not good for us, even if we are not sure what is good for us.
You are absolutely right. I've taken your advise to my heart. Yes, there are various emotions that comes up. There is a sense of relief after sharing it here.
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 4:08:50 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
Are you saying they treated you badly in the past and this is causing your present reaction? Or is there something they are doing now that is not OK with you?
Yes, the past. I don't enjoy being in their company. Every exchange feels labored. I'm torn because it's his family and he would love for all of us to be together.
I recognize his good intentions and I've been going along as I know that it makes him happy. He's happy but I'm not. We talked about this today and have come to a decision that I won't be visiting them often and it's okay for him to go visit by himself with the kids sometimes.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 14 2015 4:14:45 PM
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1462 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 4:18:16 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Sounds like you know what you need to do. Being realistic about how much you can take on applies to people interactions too, doesn't it? Another kind of self-pacing.
When you feel strong enough to process that hurt from the past, then you will be ready to face this problematic relationship, but it's got to be in your own time. Perhaps you don't need to decide right now what is "going to be for the rest of this life" and what is not. Why not stay open, see how things pan out?
Wishing you the best
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Dec 14 2015 4:18:52 PM
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 4:27:05 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
Being realistic about how much you can take on applies to people interactions too, doesn't it? Another kind of self-pacing.
You are right.
quote:
When you feel strong enough to process that hurt from the past, then you will be ready to face this problematic relationship, but it's got to be in your own time.
I like to atleast say to myself that most of the past hurt has been processed. I will self pace in the relationship and try to stay open.
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
661 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 4:40:51 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
fellowship is really important thankyou fellow yogis
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Dogboy
USA
1547 Posts
Posted - Dec 14 2015 : 9:49:11 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
A lot of good advice and hand-holding already; you are processing it well. It doesn't necessarily have to be a shoutout at the OK Corral remember, you can withdraw your presence without uttering a cross word. There is dignity in the taking the high road and being cordial with them when their company is unavoidable, otherwise cultivate your peace of being and make yourself scarce. They have put you in this position by their inability to accept you as you are into their fold; you know you deserve better than that.
I pray your husband is strong enough to brush aside their nonsense and stick up for you.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 01:36:06 AM Show Profile Email Poster Visit Bodhi Tree's Homepage Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Dogboy!
Sunyata...maybe let the solar plexus take command! Creating boundaries, or dissolving them, as needed. Slightly below the heart, anchoring the upper regions to the lower jungles.
Stillness in action (radiance) surpasses all strategies. Become allied with the sacred geometry of inner and outer space. Let the narrative interpretation be bolstered by the genius of unfolding form. You are the goddess: unmistakably, undeniably, unrelentingly.
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Charliedog
1528 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 04:02:01 AM Show Profile Email Poster Visit Charliedog's Homepage Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
We talked about this today and have come to a decision that I won't be visiting them often and it's okay for him to go visit by himself with the kids sometimes.
This what I did first in the past Sunyata, only the opening up, and take this step can be a great relief.
I did not want him to break up with his family, not because of me.
But then I wanted to be completely honest and had to open up also to the family, that was the breaking point between them and me.
My husband choose for me, broke up with his family but that was as I said a big trigger for my quilt feelings to him. This all happened before my awakening, but I am sure I would have done the same afterwards, only sooner.
Most important is to be honest to yourself Sunyata.
Edited by - Charliedog on Dec 15 2015 04:17:54 AM
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 08:04:31 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Dogboy-- Taking the high road is what I've being doing for almost ten years. I think making myself scarce is the option for right now.
quote:
Stillness in action (radiance) surpasses all strategies. Become allied with the sacred geometry of inner and outer space. Let the narrative interpretation be bolstered by the genius of unfolding form.
I know Bodhi. But being run down a lot affects this mere mortal.
quote:
You are the goddess: unmistakably, undeniably, unrelentingly.
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 08:28:05 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
This what I did first in the past Sunyata, only the opening up, and take this step can be a great relief.
I did not want him to break up with his family, not because of me.
Oh Dear Charliedog,
My exact feelings. Especially after being a mother, I see the unconditional love for kids. Since we have agreed upon this, we'll see how things go. I heard Rupert Spira say -We can love everybody but we don't have to like them . Hearing this was a relief as well. I'm learning that not only being open but practical is important.
There is a constant recognition that we are here as humans for so long. The experience of the personality not being here makes me look at things from a bigger perspective. There is sometimes a struggle between the ultimate truth to what is happening. What is happening is part of the truth as well. Living as a human and trying to navigate through some bumps in the road does lead to more openings.
I really appreciate everyone of you here. I'm just sharing my thought process as well.
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 09:03:25 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
See Sunyata you do know what is best for you.
I think the phrase in the bible says it all.
he man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
in Yogic parlance we call this the blending of Shiva with Shakti.
You do not need Tantra for this either a Man and a Woman living in within the same household gain a similar benefit it is subtle but present.
Edited by - So-Hi on Dec 15 2015 10:30:26 AM
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 09:37:21 AM Show Profile Email Poster Visit Bodhi Tree's Homepage Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
But being run down a lot affects this mere mortal.
But you're immortal too. Tap into that immortality, and let it shape the mortal frame. Don't buy into passive spirituality and mental sedatives, which are dominating the market today. Lean towards the way of empowerment, which is much more active and outwardly influential.
"...we can become fierce warriors of Being." --Yogani, Lesson 333
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lalow33
USA
929 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 09:56:50 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Hi sunyata,
I had a similar situation with my in-laws, although I didn't see them every week. They didn't like me and we had some crazy scenarios. We actually spent 2 years not speaking with one another, but life or circumstances has a way of bringing you back together. At a certain point in time, maybe there's not some great opening or a moment you can pinpoint of forgiveness, you just realize you're stuck together whether you like it or not, and they start to become your family, too. I've been with my husband for 20 years. It takes a lot of effort to dislike someone for 20 years! I go over to their house even without my husband for the past 5 or so years. It's nice.
You do what you need to do now. I'm just telling you that it can get better. In my experience, there just doesn't have to be some miraculous acceptance that you have to do.
P.S. I read through the other replies. In my experience, it doesn't have to be "spiritual" or much effort on your part, although we "think" it should be. In my experience, there's an effort to disliking someone. At some point, that effort fades, or you get too lazy to keep it up. You can trust God, life, circumstances, or whatever. I guess I'm in the lazy spirituality group. LOL
Edited by - lalow33 on Dec 15 2015 10:40:29 AM
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 10:33:18 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Hi SO-Hi,
Relevant story. It's great how you handle the situation.
quote:
But you're immortal too. Tap into that immortality, and let it shape the mortal frame. Don't buy into passive spirituality and mental sedatives, which are dominating the market today. Lean towards the way of empowerment, which is much more active and outwardly influential.
Hi Bodhi,
Yes. I'm not buying into anything. You know I used to be confident and knew exactly what I wanted. Now, I'm trying to live this life as a conscious human being. How it wants to express outwardly is still developing.
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 10:41:48 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
you just realize you're stuck together whether you like it or not,
Hi Lalow,
LOL..yes this is realized. You know I don't dislike them. I prefer not to be in their presence. Being in the presence brings the discomfort these days.
quote:
I've been with my husband for 20 years.
quote:
I go over to their house even without my husband for the past 5 or so years. It's nice.
Wonderful, Lalow. Perhaps, one day it will be the same. May be it takes years for the karma between certain individuals to work itself out.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 15 2015 10:56:56 AM
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lalow33
USA
929 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 11:22:44 AM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
"Wonderful, Lalow. Perhaps, one day it will be the same. May be it takes years for the karma between certain individuals to work itself out."
No, karma or a spiritual framework is not part of my experience with my in-laws. I know this is a spiritual board, but there was no trying to accept or forgive or anything like that, and I don't understand or try to understand karma. Things can happen that bring you together. You might not notice, and it's okay. I'm just saying this can work it's self out without any effort or labeling. One day, you may find your in-laws becoming your family, telling them you love them even though they get on your nerves, for no reason at all.
P.S. I hope this doesn't come across as mean or whatever. What I'm trying to say is that everything does not need a " spiritual label" or framework. Circumstances or life or God, will give you repeated opportunities to find compassion for your in- laws. Through a life there will be joyous occasions and heartbreakers and everything in-between. There's no worries, sunyata. You'll find your place in this family. It could be much better than you ever expected.
Edited by - lalow33 on Dec 15 2015 11:42:23 AM
sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 12:09:41 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
No, karma or a spiritual framework is not part of my experience with my in-laws. I know this is a spiritual board, but there was no trying to accept or forgive or anything like that, and I don't understand or try to understand karma. Things can happen that bring you together. You might not notice, and it's okay. I'm just saying this can work it's self out without any effort or labeling. One day, you may find your in-laws becoming your family, telling them you love them even though they get on your nerves, for no reason at all.
P.S. I hope this doesn't come across as mean or whatever. What I'm trying to say is that everything does not need a " spiritual label" or framework. Circumstances or life or God, will give you repeated opportunities to find compassion for your in- laws. Through a life there will be joyous occasions and heartbreakers and everything in-between. There's no worries, sunyata. You'll find your place in this family. It could be much better than you ever expected
Dear Lalow,
It's not mean not all. What is coming through you is completely understood and appreciated.
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So-Hi
USA
481 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 1:50:37 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Sunyata the true story was for you and the few that read it.
After I felt it had been consumed it was removed. No need for unintended parties to read and become unhappy.
From my perspective all of life is spiritual and there is nothing that is not. In fact I will say that in recent times I am perceiving things in fits and starts as they are becoming known to my awareness that are taking me right out of this plane of existence and opening to a new level of existence that is oh so much more and this human life is such a very, very small part of it.
The only way I can describe it is it is like having lived under a sea of dense fog all your life, and you are conditioned to the heavy humid warm cloying fog and so is everyone else but in fits and starts you find yourself high up above in a crystal clear cool dry night sky with all the stars standing out in stark relief and you realize that you are neither of that nor the fog below it is such a clear cool perception free of all the waste heat.
Still this life is so very important because if not for this how else then shall we become more aware of our own reality. All these human interactions are spiritual because there is not one human being who is not of spirit.
Lol a great many do not yet know this much about themselves nor can they even conceive of it. Oh well all in due time.
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dv2014
USA
91 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 2:21:36 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Just want to offer my well wishes and prayers to you, Sunyata ...
I have also had tough times dealing with my husband's mom and extended family. But the relationship has become much better over the past couple of years. Several years ago my mother-in-law visited us for a few months and it was not at all easy for me in the beginning. But two things that helped me then were: 1) I consciously started reminding silently to myself one or two good qualities of my mother-in-law whenever I felt not so good. This was forced and kind of artificial at first, but gradually became more natural. After many years (now about 10 years or so) later, I truly admire her for those good qualities. 2) I decided to expect nothing from her, no nods of inclusiveness, approval or appreciation. I tried to be happy as an outsider in her picture of her family, which was my main internal complaint at that time. I used to feel that despite all my efforts to get integrated into the family, I was looked down on and placed at a lower level compared to others in the family ... Accepting that as such was a big step for me. Things have improved a lot since then though.
I am sure you have thought through all these and beyond ... but offering my two cents. I like BRC's idea of 'self pacing' on relationships. When we are completely purified, perhaps we would be able to take in all the diversity in nature without any discomfort, but till then, we can act in a measured way that is conducive to our progress. As long as we don't harbor any ill feelings toward them, it should be OK. Keep blessing them from your heart, you never know, they may change one day.
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 3:16:01 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
Sunyata the true story was for you and the few that read it.
After I felt it had been consumed it was removed. No need for unintended parties to read and become unhappy.
From my perspective all of life is spiritual and there is nothing that is not. In fact I will say that in recent times I am perceiving things in fits and starts as they are becoming known to my awareness that are taking me right out of this plane of existence and opening to a new level of existence that is oh so much more and this human life is such a very, very small part of it.
The only way I can describe it is it is like having lived under a sea of dense fog all your life, and you are conditioned to the heavy humid warm cloying fog and so is everyone else but in fits and starts you find yourself high up above in a crystal clear cool dry night sky with all the stars standing out in stark relief and you realize that you are neither of that nor the fog below it is such a clear cool perception free of all the waste heat.
Still this life is so very important because if not for this how else then shall we become more aware of our own reality. All these human interactions are spiritual because there is not one human being who is not of spirit.
Lol a great many do not yet know this much about themselves nor can they even conceive of it. Oh well all in due time.
Yes,indeed the recognition that everything is spirit is there. Not everyone recognizes it is true. This is the reason I'm here sharing this with the fellow travelers..
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 3:18:42 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
Just want to offer my well wishes and prayers to you, Sunyata ...
I have also had tough times dealing with my husband's mom and extended family. But the relationship has become much better over the past couple of years. Several years ago my mother-in-law visited us for a few months and it was not at all easy for me in the beginning. But two things that helped me then were: 1) I consciously started reminding silently to myself one or two good qualities of my mother-in-law whenever I felt not so good. This was forced and kind of artificial at first, but gradually became more natural. After many years (now about 10 years or so) later, I truly admire her for those good qualities. 2) I decided to expect nothing from her, no nods of inclusiveness, approval or appreciation. I tried to be happy as an outsider in her picture of her family, which was my main internal complaint at that time. I used to feel that despite all my efforts to get integrated into the family, I was looked down on and placed at a lower level compared to others in the family ... Accepting that as such was a big step for me. Things have improved a lot since then though.
I am sure you have thought through all these and beyond ... but offering my two cents. I like BRC's idea of 'self pacing' on relationships. When we are completely purified, perhaps we would be able to take in all the diversity in nature without any discomfort, but till then, we can act in a measured way that is conducive to our progress. As long as we don't harbor any ill feelings toward them, it should be OK. Keep blessing them from your heart, you never know, they may change one day.
Thank You dv2014 for sharing your story as well. Your points are taken and have worked on them as well. You are right-self pacing in this relationship seems to be the answer.
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lalow33
USA
929 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 3:41:06 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
What lovely replies. sunyata, I just didn't want to come across as knowing much more than you. I do spiritual practice, but I'm not super spiritual, just a regular gal. Things can get better without opening, karma worked out, whatever. Sometimes, we feel like we have to do something, but I'm just saying, sometimes doing nothing and letting has it's benefits. Everything will workout.
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 4:00:57 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
quote:
I just didn't want to come across as knowing much more than you. I do spiritual practice, but I'm not super spiritual, just a regular gal. Things can get better without opening, karma worked out, whatever. Sometimes, we feel like we have to do something, but I'm just saying, sometimes doing nothing and letting has it's benefits. Everything will workout.
Don't worry Lalow-I'm just a regular girl just like you. We are all trying to navigate through life. I asked my Isthas and they answered through you all. You have said wonderful things. It's my heart's desire to not only experience the bliss and peace by myself but to be able to share it with everyone. But when such situations arise, it gets hard and I cry out to my Isthas and here. You all i.e. my friends here echo the right answers at the right time.
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lalow33
USA
929 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 4:45:09 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Thank you sunyata. Just an example, my in-laws used to hate me. This year my husband's back was out; I drove 3 hrs on Thanksgiving with my kids without my husband to see them.( We moved a few years ago). I would not have wanted to do that 10 years ago. Oh, I have stories! None of that matters now. We had a good time!
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sunyata
USA
1386 Posts
Posted - Dec 15 2015 : 7:35:35 PM Show Profile Email Poster Edit Reply Reply with Quote View user's IP address Get a Link to this Reply Delete Reply
Very nice to hear how your relationship has evolved.
Edited by - sunyata on Dec 15 2015 7:35:54 PM
