Hi everyone,
I'd like to post about a technique I found very useful when I found I was in an abusive marriage and then repeated my behaviour in a following relationship.
During this time I was following a 'personal growth'
path and eventually had my kundalini awakened
spontaneously.
AYP has helped me immensly in this area by helping me settle my kundalini down to a more livable level and life isn't so crazy anymore...except with an occasional flare up.
To help me through what I considered my own addiction to abusive relationships - in addition to my regular meditation - was to create for myself an empowering self confidence booster by 'owning' my
own orgasm and sexuality while self pleasuring with masturbation.
The majority of Tantra lessons cover extensively the male orgasm/retention but it's difficult to find information for women.....especially as our sexuality can be different in some ways.
The technique I use is mainly what I created for myself by using loving caring thoughts for myself and my orgasmic energy...taking back my own power into myself and 'owning' it. I'm sorry if I'm not
providing a clear explanation but I believe there are some books and workshops that are available to learn these techniques.
I found it helped me emotionally especially as it
stopped the 'drain' I felt which was leading to fear, depression etc etc..
The method seems to have a flow on affect into all areas of my life, not only sexually. As women we are the nurturers, the givers, ruled strongly by our hormones and our emotions. By empowering ourselves it can make us deal better with children, lovers, life...
I was amazed though at how strong I felt to stop empowering myself because I felt I would be selfish if I did so...that I'm betraying my lover and my children....my sense of responsibility
I persevered and I soon realised overcoming the desire to stop because of selfishness was well worth it....the freedom and joy were wonderful rewards...
In my abusive relationship it helped me realise that we can't always change others, but by changing ourselves *really* does help and flows to those around us.
The practise may help and improve abusive relationships, or it may end them...as always, we just need to be faithful to ourselves and trust the outcome is the best for all concerned.
I'm very interested to hear other people's perspectives....
kindest regards
Amaargi
Moderator note: This beautiful Tantra post is related to AYP main lesson #272 at
http://www.aypsite.com/plus/272.htmland the follow-on forum topic on 12 step programs at
http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/index.php?topic=376