quote:
I'm sounding the warning for you and others: again, it gets worse. Fears and desires keep intensifying as silence grows. It's the opportunity to really put one's detach/surrender/love reflex to the test. How deep is your bhakti?
Hi Jim,
I appreciate this has been your experience, but this hasn't been what I have noticed for myself as silence grows. It hasn't gotten worse, life has only improved in all areas. Certainly at times of intense clearing out, it can definitely feel temporarily like the opposite.
From my perspective, silence grows and thoughts diminish. They have become less frequent for me and don't carry the same emotional punch they once did. What used to take me for a 3 week emotional roller-coaster ride is now handled within hours or minutes thanks to increased inner silence (presence, witness etc.). Detachment grows as we become more identified with our witness self and less identified with the virtual world of our thoughts and their corresponding emotional reactions.
Fears certainly do come to the surface and we become more aware of them through the clearing out process. I can see how this could be perceived as an intensification as they come to the conscious foreground after laying somewhat dormant in the unconscious background. The fact that we can now face what once had to be buried deep within, because it was too much to digest at the time, is a testament to the capacity of what our inner silence can now handle and absorb.
Looking at desires separately, from my experience things I used to want to be or get are no longer appealing. That flat screen TV is just not that exciting and it is no longer imperative that people think I’m wonderful. In general, many things that I used to feel were supremely important no longer hold the same appeal. They have been replaced by new desires that correspond more closely to my spiritual practices.
My greatest desire is to live in reality, to not miss a single second of this gift of life, to be of service to others (because it feels so good) and to be firmly rooted in the here and now.
Please God make it so!
Amen