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Originally posted by kamiCould not agree more about surrender - even Babaji and Yogani are, ultimately my own projection of my highest ideal. So is my Ishta. This is why I'm considered a rebel in my circles; I don't buy into blind faith or outward surrender.. The guru within is the only one I can surrender to, who continues to guide me in every moment.
Yes, this! ^^^ It is quite foolish to abandon all critical thinking and objectivity. Yet, hand-in-hand with such even-tempered level of equanimity, we must surrender to the higher spiritual principle, wherever and within whomever it freely blooms.
And I feel that the whole Shaktipad phenomenon is one which pulls on our mortal heartstrings, draws our rapt attention and ignites a deeper fervor in our own unique Sadhana (as well it should). But if it does not lead us to unite immanently with the living presence of Brahman/God within us... it just becomes an addiction of sorts and to some degree or another, manifests as a cult of personalty worship and a
merry go round for the ego-mind.
When I wore a younger man's cloths (muslin cotton cloths, mala beads and very long hair), I spent a lot of my time seeking inspiration from others... those outside of myself, cloaked in the form of the Sat Guru. Like most of us here, I wanted to have the kind of experiences that folks like Sri Paramahansa Yoganandaji had had. We all seek spiritual immersion and that special kind of Sacred love which alone can still the mind's heart. Plain and simple, I wanted a mentor to gift me the experience of the Godhead.
When I met Sant Keshavadas, back in 1979, I was granted my wish in spades! And his energy was sooooooo very powerful, I was immediately put into Savikalpa Samadhi. His touch was so electrifying, my mind stopped thinking at once, my crown bloomed exponentially... and I tasted a flood of Amrita, instantly! I was walked/carried over to the side of the Satsang hall and was gently leaned against the wall, where I melted into the Infinite presence of the Divine. I was so immersed in the Spiritus, that I was unconscious of anything around me for over an hour. Santji said, "Just leave Govinda alone for now, he is with God." He then chuckled loudly, burst into joyous giggling, much like a small child, as he was evidently enjoying my intoxicated enrapturement.
![[:D]](http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/Smileys/akyhne/icon_smile_big.gif "Big Smile")
His auric body was the most advanced and soul-stirring, that I have ever seen or felt. he was surrounded in rich purple and turquoise blue clouds of energy. Being of a remarkably humble character, he emphasized that he was only a messenger. He was, "Sent by Sri Babaji Maharaj, to reach sincere Chelas in the western world". He knew I had been doing the Kriya Yoga of the SRF but he wanted to lead me beyond mere techniques or methods, into the living reality of the Divine Being. And boy, did he ever!
But within a few weeks, I was left with
me-myself and I, Mego the humanoid personage, once again. It was not so different than a very positive psychedelic experience, in that I still came down... and was once more, struggling with my mortality and searching outside of myself for the
Ultimate Truth.
I continued my meditation, my internal cultivation practices and in the process, studied with teachers like: Swami Amar Jyoti, Swami Satchidanada, Joshu Sasaki Roshi, Pir Valayet Khan, Sant Ajaib Singh and many, many others... but none had
the juice that Santji effortlessly had emitted with unreserved expression.
I November of 1981, I was touched by my Ishta, Sri Babaji Maharaj. It was beyond anything I can feasibly express in words. Furthermore, I still feel most unworthy of his Grace. Ironic, isn't it? And for over 30 years now, he has been my guiding light and cherished Gurudeva. His effulgent emission of spiritual Light and limitless Love are constant, whereas, my receptivity had gone in and out of focus and attunement.
More recently, he had has touched me twice and I am becoming more and more certain that my highest self... is that which Sri Babaji Maharaj, truly is (in mirrored reflection). A more refined and perfect reflection of the Supreme Godhead but one will all expressions and manifestations. The membranes of subject and object have largely dissipated, the separation of master and disciple has been somewhat erased by Sri Gurudeva's enigmatic touch.
I have honesty come to see that there is only one of us existent. We are each and all of us the Omniself, cloaked in many garbs and temperaments. So odd, really. Why doesn't he place any emphasis on the technique and methodology of Kriya Yoga, as he had with Sri Shayama Charan Lahiri Mahasaya? All of my direct lessons are about transmutation of intent, merge within the fulcrum of the mind's heart, thus achieving an attunement to higher frequencies of conscious-awareness... and fully "allowing" myself to shift my attention from the relative to the Absolute. It's ALL about Shakti transmission and incremental integration of the Sacred Current.
![[OM]](http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/Smileys/akyhne/om.gif "OM")
There is but the Cosmic Dance and Lila of the Omniself. I/you/we/all of us... are but the same Divine energy, enacting our lives in a dream-world. Playing
hide and seek with the Omniversal. Whose dream is it? The dream of Godself, awakening from the Maya, within the realm of duality? Who then, becomes "enlightened"? We are all undifferentiated conscious-awareness, each in our own way, entering into full-bloom modality. And throughout the seeming illusion, there is naught but Brahman/God being Godself.
Ultimately, we as individuals, have never actually existed, despite having careers and families, proclivities and aspirations. Only the appearance of separation lingers before our impermanent subjectivity. Nor will we ever exist apart from That. Tat Tvam Asi. All is Brahman/God, nothing else exists. As the Sufi Sants proclaim, "La Ilaha Ila Allah Hu!"
![[/\]](http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/Smileys/akyhne/namaste.gif "Namaste (guru in you)")
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About Buddha - in these circles, the belief is that it took him 8 years because he had no guru; that he "could" have gotten there sooner with one. The type of thinking I cannot relate to.. And so I am ostracized.. The spiritual path can be muddied substantially with such notions which are more binding than freeing IMHO..
What I'm seeing on a daily basis is that it is one thing to preach, another thing to live what one preaches. And no discordance between the two is allowed in my life - I get physically ill when there is the slightest non-gelling between thought, speech and action, especially the last few weeks. The Divine Mother will not allow anything but crystal-clear authenticity.. The more I abide in that pure light of stillness and honesty, the more vibrant I am on all levels and all work just happens through this apparatus. Another example of the inner guru's workings here.
Much love to you.![[3]](http://www.aypsite.com/plus-forum/Smileys/akyhne/heart.gif "Heart")
Agreed, my dearest Sister! And so many people, have said so many things about the lives of: Sri Krishna, Gautama Buddha, Lord Yeshua (Jesus Christ), Prophet Mohammad, Sant Kabir, Sri Ramana Maharshi and many other Sants... that it behooves us to stop thinking and fully empty our minds of any conceptions about any other beings lives or other incarnations of the One. For we exist within ourselves, right here & now, awakening to this present moment before our witnessing.
On my own path, this demands complete attunement to the Unified Field of Being and surrender to
That (the cessation of the play of relative ego's adherence to any membrane of form and substance). Easier said that done, right? And so we each undergo our practices, silence our personal thoughts and echo/reflect something of
That... insomuch as our daily lives allow (often, in small, simple ways).
I have not had the pleasure of Amma's Dharshan but some of my local friends have. She seems sweet. I have heard her compared to Sri Ananda Mayima... but I honestly feel that there may not be another Saint as sky high as Sri Ma, for millenniums to come. Her's was a case of being an Avatara, cloaked in the simple guise of deepest, childlike humility (much like Mother Teressa). Even now, I feel Ma's immense love and sheer power, although I never had her Dharshan while she walked this earthly plane. Yet, I call her my Mother and she replies with motherly love, from above.
But Dharma blossoms effulgently in all eras. I sense in Amma the love and serenity of the Divine Mother. But at this point in my journey, I have already found the Mother within my own mind's heart. She is forever alive and eternally Supreme. She is everything and so too, nothing at all describable in words. She is who I/you/we all are deep inside... in our most quintessential nature, we are love itself!
May we each follow Amma's example, in our own unique ways and shine brightly from within, upon all we perceive without. Not to behave like Sat Gurus or gather large followings... rather, to completely know directly, that Brahman/God is the
All in All. Everything else will take care of itself, no matter how seemingly trivial or troublesome.
After all, there is only one of us, Omniversally present and we are incrementally awakening to the blissful expression of Godself, embracing the Gnosis of the Absolute reality behind the relative appearances. We are the Dance of Nataraja, joyfully and eternally pulsing with the Light of conscious-awareness!
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti 
