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Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Aug 09 2018 :  5:49:51 PM
Will this really happen? because before the problems appeared I was exceptionally well. with an absolute mental power.



BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1486 Posts

 Posted - Aug 10 2018 :  01:39:04 AM
It's hard to improve on the absolute.
What I can say is that people report improved mental abilities as a result of consistent meditation practice.



Blanche
USA
555 Posts

 Posted - Aug 10 2018 :  06:08:41 AM 
Hi Delfos,

You are going through a process of transformation. At the end, you will find yourself at another level, in another state of equilibrium. It will be different than the one you had before all this started to happen. It took you time to get here, it took time to start getting spasms, so it is normal to take some time to get better. From time to time you might still have spasms, and this is normal. Things take time to change.


The fact that your attention is different shows that this transformation involves not only the body, but also the mind. You are changing like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly! Something to keep in mind: The AYP lessons are verified by the experience of hundreds of practitioners. Most of them go through this transformation without a lot of difficulties. You may want to read the lessons and learn the practices gradually, for a easier journey.

Best wishes.



Christi
United Kingdom
3541 Posts

 Posted - Aug 10 2018 :  06:48:01 AM 
Hi Delfos,

You have received very good advice from others already.

Spasms are a symptom of kundalini that some people experience from time-to-time. As you mentioned, it often only happens when the attention becomes focussed, so avoiding this can prevent the spasms from happening, or can make them happen less.

Gradually, over time, the spasms will turn into a trembling sensation in the body and from there will turn into a light vibration. At some point they will become ecstatic and very pleasurable. The ecstasy will often be localised at first, but will gradually expand to include the whole body and will expand from there beyond the body. Other transformations will take place as well as the process unfolds.

Just to mention, the meditation technique that you described, where the attention is moved around the body, is not necessarily a safe one and people do often experience issues with it, such as the issue you are describing here. It could be advisable not to go back to that. There are much safer forms of meditation. In general, a full-scope yoga practice which incorporates all eight-limbs, is the safest and easiest path to follow.

Be patient with yourself and take the time needed to integrate what has happened in the past and move forwards from there.

It will be alright!

Christi



Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Aug 11 2018 :  7:40:13 PM 
I'm having these tremors described by Christi. Only I have a doubt:
I was meditating, and suddenly my feet began to shake, spreading all over my leg. I at first stopped the mantra, and began to pay attention to my leg. But later the question came to me: should I stop or not with the mantra?
I mean, what am I supposed to do in this situation? Stop with the mantra and watch the movement, or ignore it and continue meditation?



yo_gi
Germany
42 Posts

 Posted - Aug 12 2018 :  02:39:53 AM 
quote:
Originally posted by Delfos

what am I supposed to do in this situation? Stop with the mantra and watch the movement, or ignore it and continue meditation?


https://www.aypsite.com/15.html



There you find the appropriate method how to deal with those kind of situations...

Here is an excerpt from this lesson:

*Sometimes physical discomfort can happen during meditation. This is usually a symptom of the release of obstructions in the nervous system. If it interferes with the easy process of meditation, then pause with the mantra and allow the attention to be drawn to the physical discomfort. Just be with it for a while. Usually, this will dissolve the discomfort naturally. Once it does, go back to the mantra and continue your meditation until your time is up. Count the time you spent with your attention on the physical discomfort as part of your meditation time. If the sensation does not dissolve, lie down for while, until the sensation subsides. It is a good thing. A big obstruction is going. Let it go easily, naturally. The same procedure applies if you are overcome with a barrage of overbearing thoughts, which may or may not be accompanied by physical sensations. If you can't easily go back to the mantra, just be with the thoughts until they dissipate enough so you can easily pick up the mantra again. Remember, meditation is not a fight with physical or mental activity we may have. These are all symptoms of the release of obstructions from deep in the nervous system. We just let them go. Our job is to follow the easy procedure of thinking the mantra and allowing the process of inner cleansing to happen. This is not a war on the level of the conscious mind. You can never win it that way. We are working from the inside, within and beyond the subconscious mind. In order to do this we must allow the natural ability of the mind to take us in. So learn to think the mantra easily, and let it go in.*

All the best




Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Aug 15 2018 :  8:00:18 PM 
I was walking and suddenly I started reciting the mantra automatically in my mind. I interrupted when I realized. What I did is correct? is not clearly the mantra, but one of the ways in which it appears in my meditation.

The ayp method is good for those who have adhd?

I always had a vision, from meditation as a way of developing intelligence, the ayp method helps at that point?


Charliedog
1543 Posts

 Posted - Aug 16 2018 :  06:12:12 AM
We practice two times a day deep meditation. We never use the mantra outside the practice. You were correct to stop it.

Those who have the diagnose ADHD and can have the discipline to practice daily will for sure benefit, this is because AYP calms the mind.

AYP is a methode to purify the whole system. With daily practice we remove the veils of ignorance. All becomes available, All is in us. Love, Wisdom and many more qualities.

If we practice daily, in time we develop the quality to focus, one pointed concentration (dharana). One of the benefits of dharana is, you can study without the mind continuously running from here to there while you are trying to concentrate.




Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Sep 08 2018 :  1:19:14 PM 
Have I completed 1 month of meditation for 10 minutes? Can I do it for 15 minutes now?



BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1486 Posts

 Posted - Sep 08 2018 :  3:27:35 PM
Hello Delfos
Good to hear from you.

That's great. Have you been doing 10 minutes once a day or 10 minutes twice a day?



Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Sep 08 2018 :  6:15:47 PM
10 minutes twice a day



BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1486 Posts

 Posted - Sep 09 2018 :  01:48:51 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Very good. You've got the regularity in your practice and 10 minutes in a good length session for somebody who has had sensitivity issues.

Tell us how you are feeling in day-to-day life. Have the spasms you mentioned before been bothering you in the last month?



Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Sep 10 2018 :  10:30:22 AM 
Okay, I'll continue meditating for 10 minutes.

The problem still continues, I can not pay attention due to spasms or altered breathing.

A silence has taken possession of me. A sense of emptiness rising inside my body. Things seem to be quieter, I feel it. Even once he had been trying to sleep in the bed and all this emptiness possessed me, I went into shock. But it only happened once, and I'm fine.

But what I am trying to do is relax and just continue with the meditation routine. I am confident that this will all improve one day and I will be able to pay attention without any adversity.



BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1486 Posts

 Posted - Sep 14 2018 :  10:40:12 AM 
Hi Delfos

If I understand correctly, these spasms are preventing you for getting on with your daily activities, whether it's study or work, right?

If that is the case, then the yoga routine you are currently on is not sustainable. The advice is to switch to a milder form of meditation. Instead of mantra meditation, you can try using the breath as your meditation object. The procedure is the same - easily favour the sensation of your breath. Have a look at Lesson 367 - Suggestions for Over-Sensitive Meditators



If this form of meditation is still too much and your symptoms do not subside, then you need to spend some time just grounding, and no practice. That time will not be lost. You will be integrating the energy that has been stimulated by you past practice.

Take care and all the best.



Will Power
Spain
415 Posts

 Posted - Sep 26 2018 :  03:56:26 AM 
Hi Delfos,

Besides all the advice that you have received, I?d like to mention that there is an exercise called skeletal shaking that you can use to ground yourself, which will improve the circulation of energy in your body, which you need to ease the automatic movements. Don?t supress the automatic movements (unless you are in a place you feel you need to supress them, but then find a place where you can let your body move).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRIbHhvY64s
Lifting heavy weight also helps to ground.




BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1486 Posts

 Posted - Sep 26 2018 :  3:44:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Will Power
Lifting heavy weight also helps to ground.

It might for some people. Does not happen here - intense physical exercise, including weight lifting will hyke up the prana, so I have to self-pace my fitness routine when I experience kundalini overload.



Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Nov 22 2018 :  7:24:36 PM 
the problem I was making is that I was very forcing attention, and it was making the energy focus on my head all the time. I stopped it, went back to doing the meditation and everthing is right.
One thing that has happened to me now is that I feel a slight pain in the top of my head, sometimes it even gets worse. And I also have thoughts that make me scream, they are not bad thoughts, but they are thoughts in which I find myself in embarrassing situations. When I have them, I feel like screaming. Before, in the beginning, I had them and spoke mentally "NO". It has evolved and now I feel like screaming. I notice also that meche with my energy from the top of the head.
But that's it. I think I'm on the right track now. The error, which was giving the spasms, is that I was forcing my attention, and consequently forcing energy.



AnotherYogi
Ireland
6 Posts

 Posted - Nov 24 2018 :  05:38:17 AM 
Hi Delos,

I have been dealing with thoughts relating to embarrassing things also for the last few months. I feel to urge to shout out as well as well as thinking negative thoughts about myself "I'm so stupid" etc.

I believe that the practice brings up these unpleasant thoughts and feelings for a reason, so that we can develop a new and better relationship to parts of ourselves we do not want to feel. So I try be compassionate towards myself when I have these memories and thoughts and not to push them away. This is very hard thing to do! We can't only welcome the pleasant thoughts, feelings and sensations. When I have the urge to shout out or run away from these thoughts I remind myself its OK, I even say in my head "It's ok " and try to breath thought the unpleasantness.

With time it gets easier. Best of luck



Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Feb 08 2019 :  6:49:24 PM 
coming back here for more questions haha .
says that masturbation and sex life is important to appease kundalini energy, but how long can I stay without masturbating? should I masturbate daily, weekly, monthly ... how long?
thank you for the attention



Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Feb 13 2019 :  10:19:45 AM 
someone to answer me?
I'm divided. Science says that it is not good masturbation, and here it says that without marturbation or sex can worsen the state of kundalini.
Just wanted an average time anyway.



Dogboy
USA
1581 Posts

 Posted - Feb 13 2019 :  12:25:52 PM
Hey Delphos

Having sex to ejacultaion should ease strong kundalini symptoms, just be cautious, having extended relations amps this energy up. Daily? Weekly? Monthly? Ask ten men, get ten answers. This decision should be based on your experience and libido. Here's a few of the free tantra lessons here on AYP, you might consider reading them all.


https://www.aypsite.com/T18.html

https://www.aypsite.com/T9.html

https://www.aypsite.com/T15.html

Edited by - Dogboy on Feb 13 2019 12:30:17 PM



Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - May 20 2019 :  6:05:21 PM 
hello my friends, I'm back.
the spasms have turned to heartburn, I feel stomach burning. That's when I force attention, when I'm studying, watching classes, activities that demand attention.
I have some questions to ask:
1 - Does that mean any progress?
2 - When I have the symptoms, due to being paying attention, do I return in relation to kundalini? What I had integrated is lost and back to what I was before?
3 - Are there any estimates of when I will be normal, healthy, again?
Thanks for the attention, fellows.



BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1486 Posts

 Posted - May 22 2019 :  03:25:13 AM 
Hello Delfos
quote:
Originally posted by Delfos
That's when I force attention, when I'm studying, watching classes, activities that demand attention.

This is a typical kundalini issue - any form of concentration intensifies the energy. You need to use any methods available to ground and reduce the energy.

quote:
Originally posted by Delfos
Does that mean any progress?

Yes, the energy has cleaned up (or partly cleaned up) an area, the symptoms there will stop or reduce, and you will begin to feel the purifying effects elsewhere. Nothing is lost, but you need to manage this process so that you can get on with your day to day life, whether this is work or study. So grounding and reducing any yoga practices to a sustainable level is what you need to be thinking of.

quote:
Originally posted by Delfos
Are there any estimates of when I will be normal, healthy, again?
I'm afraid there is no rule. It could be some months or some years. It's different from person to person. That's why the priority has to be on attaining some sort of stability. Blasting through with the practice may mean years of discomfort. You need to self-pace.



Delfos
Brazil
25 Posts

 Posted - Jun 27 2019 :  2:48:32 PM
Lately, in my walks, I have had involuntary breaths, involuntary steps, blinking eyes. Nothing that disturbs me much and that prevents me from walking.
Sometimes I also feel like running, my steps speed up, and I just run, giving up.
Anyway, is all this normal? Thank you.



Dogboy
USA
1581 Posts

 Posted - Jun 27 2019 :  7:41:52 PM 
Automatic movements, mudras, bandas, asanas can be a byproduct of the process and quite normal.



Delfos
Brazil
27 Posts

Posted - Nov 23 2019 :  10:04:39 AM
Hello
So I'm feeling little electric shocks on various parts of the body. Wanted to know if this is part of the process?
I feel that I am also more sensitive to the effects of kundalini
Edited by - Delfos on Nov 23 2019 11:18:58 AM




Dogboy
USA
1711 Posts

Posted - Nov 23 2019 :  11:56:25 AM
If you have a dedicated practice, I would consider any unusual, temporary symptoms to be a result of purification. If symptoms become persistent, sharp in expression, or cause you concern, have it medically evaluated.

https://www.aypsite.com/plus/15.html#15.1. This lesson can enlighten you on finding relief in and outside of practice.




Delfos
Brazil
27 Posts

Posted - Nov 23 2019 :  2:01:58 PM 
It is nothing very worrying and painful. It happens a lot when I'm using an electronic device (notebook, smartphone ...).
It happened after I forced my attention to read a college text. Then I started to feel bad, but nothing very unusual, because always when I force a lot I feel bad. However, after that I became more spiritually sensitive.
But I was happy before that, it seemed to be evolving, beginning to have the awareness I had before the kundalini was awakened.
2
Yoga and Relationships / Re: marriage and moving
« Last post by AYPadmin on May 04, 2020, 12:57:56 PM »
Chard
239 Posts

 Posted - Oct 12 2017 :  11:58:11 PM
Hi All, just wanted to stay connected to this group on my transition journey here...I had a most memorable dream last night about my mom that I felt nudged to share...It was one of the most real dreams I've had and in the dream she even said that i wasn't dreaming- it was like an astral traveling experience. She was waking me up in the morning like when I was child so nurturing to me and I woke up crying when I realized it was a dream. I miss my mom so much.
When I left my parents on the east coast and moved to CA recently a part of me felt like I'm leaving them forever because the thought occurred to me that they will grow older and probably eventually pass away without me living near them and I feel so enormously sad to know that's that's a likely reality.
I've been really honoring my grief and loneliness that comes in waves and just being w it and at the same time there's been moments of joy too. So much of my spiritual journey is about me growing more and more inwardly solid and deepening that self love and seeing how humanly fragile I still am all the while. It helps to share this
I really appreciate hearing your support. It really makes a difference for me at this time.
Thank u all!! Blessings, Chard




Charliedog
1528 Posts

 Posted - Oct 13 2017 :  04:10:14 AM 
Love & Light to you dear Chard 




Chard
239 Posts

 Posted - Nov 05 2017 :  02:18:24 AM
Thank u CharlieDog!
It continues to be helpful to reach out for support during this big move. Long story short, the transition has been a bit of a drawn out process in terms of physically settling into our new home which has felt unsettling.
With my husband traveling back and forth I was pretty much a single mom for 2 months. I have a new respect for single parents - I?ll say it?s lonely and bitter hard w 2 young often rowdy young boys... and there?s a noticeable shift in the kids? behavior w 2 parents versus one.
I continue to feel unsettled though in my marriage internally (my true heart?s just not in it and I cannot will it to be) and yet I feel a solidity within our family unit and the boys do too when he?s co-parenting w me and at home.
Among many awakenings this year, one of which has been this more outward yearning to do my spiritual work as opposed to feeling very inward and maternal w little babies. It?s like I?ve transitioned to a new stage in my life. I yearn to serve in my professional work and it brings me great joy and purpose and my soul says ?aghh?. My husband is on a totally different plane and cannot appreciate ?all that spiritual stuff.? Perhaps if I were really spiritually advanced it wouldn?t matter who I were married to because I could just be in my bliss regardless - but to what degree do we remain in a marriage just merely making it an opportunity to serve, especially when children are involved? At what cost? My husband is an amazing wonderful man who I love deeply (who I?d always choose over single parenting) but my heart is elsewhere. I?ve shared about most of this before so it?s no surprise but I?d love to hear responses at this point.
I feel safe enough to be totally honest and transparent here regardless of the audience. Love to hear your responses.
Much love, Chard



Dogboy
USA
1547 Posts

 Posted - Nov 05 2017 :  08:59:37 AM 
You have endured a lot of changes these past few months and are still adjusting to your new home. You love your husband but are not in love with him. Perhaps that is enough for now, for you have much on your plate and a lot of unsettled feelings inside and out. As long as respect and safety is present in your marriage, you both have time to figure this out.




sunyata
USA
1386 Posts

 Posted - Nov 08 2017 :  09:39:41 AM
Perhaps bliss is in also accepting our heart breaks. I know easier said than done.

As the saying goes ?Inch by inch, life?s a cinch. Yard by yard, life?s hard.?

Much Love
Edited by - sunyata on Nov 08 2017 11:09:07 AM




Chard
239 Posts

 Posted - Nov 10 2017 :  01:41:53 AM 
Dog boy, I really appreciate your words...I could feel the divine wisdom flow through your words. Thank you. It is true- there?s a lot on my plate in just getting settled here on the outside. All I can really handle right now anyway is just focusing on organizing and setting up our home here. I?m utterly grateful too that I married a home designer who can look at a room and know exactly how to design and decorate it and bring beauty where it does not exist. So right now I?m just enjoyed witnessing him and assisting him in this process and anchoring our family here more and more- so it?s just trusting that that?s where I need to be now and also continuing to focus on my service work and God will guide me to the next right action in my life. I don?t need to know how the future of my life will play out but I?m often impatient.

Sunyata, thank you so much for your words of wisdom...yes, it?s all about acceptance of every bit of how my life is today...the heartbreak, the deep peace, the pain, the confusion, the shame, the disorientation in a new place, the loneliness, the laughter, the passion, the divine love, the selfish love, the anger, the serenity, the humility, the courage, the nostalgia, the aloneness, the yearning, the joy, the trust, the clenching, and the increasing love for myself in the midst of what I?ve been living.
All the while just accepting that this is the ?what is? of my life right now- so be it.
I can sit with it all. I will sit with it all.
I humbly thank u Sunyata and Dogboy. Love always all! C



Dogboy
USA
1710 Posts

Posted - Jan 28 2020 :  6:34:45 PM 
Peace to you!




Presence Light
Algeria
10 Posts

Posted - Feb 05 2020 :  6:36:30 PM 

peace




jclone
United Arab Emirates
5 Posts

Posted - Mar 12 2020 :  03:18:38 AM
love and light to you
3
Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP / Re: Renouncing sex completely, a goal?
« Last post by AYPadmin on April 30, 2020, 09:55:33 AM »
interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Oct 13 2019 :  10:07:30 PM
CharlieDog and BlueRaincoat, Thanks for your support. I am really being challenged in my marriage to truly take on the big issues that have controlled me for most of my life. I suspect most men's behaviors are controlled by the sexual drive. I truly hope the wisdom shared here are not just platitudes/ideals but the best path forward. I have heard therapists say unconditional love is unrealistic. As a a young man I held off on having sex till much later than most men based on platitudes/ideals I heard from people in the religious community. Ultimately that led to a lot of low self esteem and missing out on opportunities to have meaningful sexual experiences when most young people have these experiences. I just don't want to make another mistake and have regrets later in life.



Christi
United Kingdom
3684 Posts

Posted - Oct 14 2019 :  05:28:46 AM 
quote:
Thanks for sharing your experience. I realize yoga can't change my wife. I do believe it has given me new tools to change myself. Where I struggle is a more fundamental question regarding how important sexual relations are to our general health. Having achieved non ejaculatory orgasms that are truly blissful I have reached a place of deep satisfaction internally without as much need for outside sexual relations. I wonder if I truly let go of any expectations of any further sexual relations with my wife and went deeper into these practices if this would free my wife from guilt she has related to her lack of libido. Would this free her up emotionally to reengage more with me in other spheres of intimacy. Ultimately are we here on this physical plane to have physical relations or is there a time in life where we can let go of attachment to physical pleasure generated thru sexual relations and instead move deeper inward?


Hi Interpaul,

Yogani once said that Tantric sexual practices are the only spiritual practices that we eventually transcend. So yes, there is a stage where we simply no longer need to practice tantric sexual practices (or engage in any kind of sexual activity) and all of the work happens internally. There are many spiritual practitioners and teachers who live in this condition. And of course there are many people who are simply naturally celibate and don't engage in sexual activities at all.

If your wife does not want to have a sexual relationship, then that can be a good opportunity for you to spend more time doing the inner work. This will change your relationship to personal desires, including sexual desires. It will mean that you are free to be in relationship with your wife, without personal desires getting in the way. It would be a more meaningful and liberating form of relationship for both of you.

Christi



interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Oct 14 2019 :  12:47:02 PM 
Christi, Thank you. Having glimpsed the ecstatic bliss a few times I may be ready to go deeper into the practice. If this practice was a practice of self denial and suffering I don't think I could find the motivation. It is a bit scary taking the plunge into this truly inner journey, although I have realized the bliss it creates gives me a deeper reservoir to draw on in my real world interactions.



kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
716 Posts

Posted - Oct 14 2019 :  4:01:15 PM 
Maybe the true sense of brahmacharaya is the renouncement of all desire I suppose there are grades from raiding the cookie jar to full on sexual urges but they still remain as sense of need or constructed need ,this leaves us in very difficult position as transcendence leads us to going beyond the impulses that are so prevalent and drive our behaviour attachments or whatever you wish to name them even the most enlightened are willed to act ,the four fountains spring to mind eating ,sleeping ,procreation and survival ,these interlink and appetites are created on the journey in these experiences ,as humans we do have extra sense and a complex way of understanding our predicament we know we know and that's difficult because just over the horizon lies a more beautiful dawn but our own day must finish first but we are forever hanging on to the light from the old day and when the new day comes it's the same but slightly different from the previous ,a step to something but we are never quite sure to what, that's if we are even slightly open to the vast expanse of our potential and the vast potential of the universe that supports our existence ,Krishna says "I hold up the whole universe by a fragment of myself "I suppose that puts having or not having sex in perspective but I am not God and my humanness may transcend the cookie jar at times but I know it's there and dipping ones hand inside reveals a certain fragment of my Origen and joy we should all appreciate



interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Oct 15 2019 :  1:16:01 PM 
Kumar ul islam, As always you cut to the deeper issues. Being in the midst of a powerful personal transformation your message speaks to me clearly. I do have some fear the more beautiful dawn you speak of may be a myth. We are ultimately talking about faith here. This seems trapped in a dualistic mindset and also seems to me an ultimate trap as giving up something we enjoy in the present (cookies or sex) for this ecstatic bliss/divine love requires some pretty profound sacrifices before one knows one is on the correct path. I worry this shift from pleasure in the present to a more amazing pleasure in the future is just another form of attachment.



kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
716 Posts

Posted - Oct 15 2019 :  2:31:23 PM 
Yes the truth is another framing of our experience or understanding an example would be knowing the earth is a sphere and not flat this allows for expansion of ones consciousness the same goes for knowing ones own patterns of behaviour a constant gathering of newness propelling and motivating forward momentum towards more expansion and so on ,this is the wonder of being human a constant longing fulfilled or satiated for a time then more desire this can be liberating or just another form of suffering ,renouncing each desire as it comes and is satiated or not can be playful ,when the gopis heard krishnas flute they all answered his call thinking it was only them that was being played to this is an example of how we all feel from moment to moment pulled towards something we have no control over driven by desire in this case it was for divine love ,Krishna always knew that flute would attract every gopi but he played anyway ,the universe will call us to our truth we must grasp it with its seeming attachments and constructs as this is the only way we know and to think that and end game really exists for me is folly as the universe exspands so do we when and if it recedes we recede back to the dot between our eyes or the dot before the Big Bang ,it really is a spectacular moment when you realise freedom lies in accepting all your own failings and joys as everybody else's aswell they are innumerable in number but counting listing and seeing them becomes a wonder it just gets deeper and deeper



Dogboy
USA
1711 Posts

Posted - Oct 15 2019 :  3:47:47 PM 
quote:
I worry this shift from pleasure in the present to a more amazing pleasure in the future is just another form of attachment.]

And on this, you continue to sit  you eventually witness it for what it is.
Edited by - Dogboy on Oct 15 2019 3:48:22 PM



lalow33
USA
966 Posts

Posted - Oct 15 2019 :  11:44:40 PM 
quote:
Originally posted by interpaul

Lalow33,

Thanks for sharing your experience. I realize yoga can't change my wife. I do believe it has given me new tools to change myself. Where I struggle is a more fundamental question regarding how important sexual relations are to our general health. Having achieved non ejaculatory orgasms that are truly blissful I have reached a place of deep satisfaction internally without as much need for outside sexual relations. I wonder if I truly let go of any expectations of any further sexual relations with my wife and went deeper into these practices if this would free my wife from guilt she has related to her lack of libido. Would this free her up emotionally to reengage more with me in other spheres of intimacy. Ultimately are we here on this physical plane to have physical relations or is there a time in life where we can let go of attachment to physical pleasure generated thru sexual relations and instead move deeper inward?


Hi interpaul. I've been celibate for a year and a half. I did have nice opens and think that I wouldn't need sex again. My experience, I was completely wrong.

Take care,
Lori



interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Oct 16 2019 :  1:52:16 PM 
Lori, I'm not sure if I understand your comment "I did have nice opens and think that I wouldn't need sex again". When you say "nice opens" what are you referring to?

Dogboy, As always your comments are very thought provoking.



SeySorciere
Seychelles
1207 Posts

Posted - Oct 17 2019 :  01:21:56 AM 
quote:
Originally posted by kumar ul islam

Maybe the true sense of brahmacharaya is the renouncement of all desire I suppose there are grades from raiding the cookie jar to full on sexual urges but they still remain as sense of need or constructed need ,this leaves us in very difficult position as transcendence leads us to going beyond the impulses that are so prevalent and drive our behaviour attachments or whatever you wish to name them even the most enlightened are willed to act ,the four fountains spring to mind eating ,sleeping ,procreation and survival ,these interlink and appetites are created on the journey in these experiences ,as humans we do have extra sense and a complex way of understanding our predicament we know we know and that's difficult because just over the horizon lies a more beautiful dawn but our own day must finish first but we are forever hanging on to the light from the old day and when the new day comes it's the same but slightly different from the previous ,a step to something but we are never quite sure to what, that's if we are even slightly open to the vast expanse of our potential and the vast potential of the universe that supports our existence ,Krishna says "I hold up the whole universe by a fragment of myself "I suppose that puts having or not having sex in perspective but I am not God and my humanness may transcend the cookie jar at times but I know it's there and dipping ones hand inside reveals a certain fragment of my Origen and joy we should all appreciate

Dear Kumar, you are on fire!



SeySorciere
Seychelles
1207 Posts

Posted - Oct 17 2019 :  01:32:42 AM 
quote:
Originally posted by interpaul

I worry this shift from pleasure in the present to a more amazing pleasure in the future is just another form of attachment.


Dear Interpaul,
From where you are now at, inevitably you will be moving from one type of attachment to another. Unconditional love is also no where in sight.
Consistent long term practice will make you a little less attached and shed more clarity onto your situation - then you can be true to your heart. Don't be in a hurry to rush decisions right now would be my advice.

Good luck

Sey



interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Oct 17 2019 :  4:50:00 PM 
SeySorciere,
Sounds like very good advice which I will take heed.



lalow33
USA
966 Posts

Posted - Oct 18 2019 :  11:38:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by interpaul

Lori, I'm not sure if I understand your comment "I did have nice opens and think that I wouldn't need sex again". When you say "nice opens" what are you referring to?

Dogboy, As always your comments are very thought provoking.



Hey interpaul,

Nice opens means loving everything on and off.

I try my hardest to be as real as I can. I'm naive sometimes with spirituality. So I ask common sense friends a lot.

"My wife no longer wants to have sex with me. I'm going to transcend this. What do you think?" A question I'd ask my common sense friends.




Blanche
USA
606 Posts

Posted - Oct 19 2019 :  08:41:22 AM 
This is just another opinion, so feel free to consider it or ignore it. One can ?have sexual relations? or ?make love.? It is like fast food compared with a never-ending feast that celebrates and nourished one?s entire being, that brings the infinite into reach, opens a window to what we really are. ?Having sexual relations? sounds so boring, technical, and uninspiring that it is hard to awaken much interest, especially if one had any taste of the feast. Sexual relations may be a part of making love ? or not. Making love is underlined by unconditional love ? wishing and acting for the happiness of the beloved. So, the first step toward the happiness of the beloved and our own happiness is to take the ?I? out of the picture. When we start with, ?How about me?? ?How do I feel??, ?What do I get??, ?What am I missing??, we set us up for misery. Just shift the questions and replace the ?I? with ?the beloved?. How about the beloved? How does she feel? What could she get? Remember all the times that brought you two together, all the good memories you share, and the joy and happiness that you two experience. Could you feel blessed just to look at the ground where she walks? Could you feel the well of gratitude that you have met her? What makes her smile? What are her small joys and sorrows? The people we love are windows opened to the Divine. They are transparent to us. Could you see IT?

It is easy to lose sight of each other and get caught in the daily routine. But take time to get to know each other again, to ?get in touch? ? take a walk together, go out to dinner, go to see a movie or a play, read the same book? Remember the small things that you were doing when you were dating, even the things that seem silly, like taking a shower and wearing a new shirt for a date ? remember and do all that again. And then come up with new ways to show your love ? be creative. Love is creative ? as my friend Elizabeth says, ?Being boring is the highest crime.? When you really act for the happiness of your beloved, you will be the first one to benefit.
4
Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP / AYP and medication
« Last post by AYPadmin on April 17, 2020, 09:35:35 AM »
redbushlighter
USA
22 Posts

Posted - Nov 03 2019 :  2:39:41 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Topic  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Message  Delete Topic
Hello everyone,

I'm 21 year old male and since I was about 16 or 17 I've struggled with depression. I used to self-medicate with marijuana, alcohol, cough syrup, basically anything I could get my hands on that would distract me from the pain. After years of self-medicating, I've started to veer away from that (rather ineffective) approach.

Both my parents are diagnosed bipolar, my mom has an anxiety disorder and my dad has major depressive disorder. They're both medicated. A couple years ago I started taking wellbutrin (300mg) for anxiety and depression and it has helped. Although lately it doesn't seem to be as effective anymore.

I have my ups and downs. Sometimes I feel good, and other times I feel horribly depressed. It seems like a cycle between feeling good and depressed every few weeks or so.

My AYP practice is as follows: 10 minutes pranayama and 20 minutes mantra meditation 2x per day. I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening almost 2 years ago that caused major emotional upheaval, however I am more balanced nowadays compared to last year.

I'm starting to think I need to see a psychiatrist and maybe try some new medication. I'm in a depressive state right now. I've been self-harming and having suicidal thoughts.

Part of me is telling myself that I can work with all of these feelings with meditation and everything AYP has to offer. The other part of me says that some outside intervention is needed.

Does anyone here have experience with this sort of thing? Can I work with all of this with the help of just AYP? Will my practice be hindered if I get on medication? I suppose I'm just looking for some consolation here.... I don't know what the best route to take is. I suppose only I can answer that....

Anyways.... I'd love to hear some of your experiences with this kind of thing and how you went about it. Take care everyone.



smileforme
USA
26 Posts

Posted - Nov 04 2019 :  5:11:14 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
OM Shanti,
Hi Redbushligher,

You will be alright using AYP.The good thing is you wanted to change that is not easy to admit that what you are doing right now is not working. Most of the time people don't like to admit it and that by itself takes courage. I have lived with my brother for 12 years where he was diagnosed as bipolar and then they say schizophrenia. The sad part is all the time if he had listened once he would have been perfectly fine or healed whatever you want to call it without any medication. The problem is he doesn't listen.

Obviously, it is a way of thinking which labels one normal or abnormal. From my experience, ego is the biggest issue here. Ego to the highest level. I'm right. I know. Other people's perception is nothing but trash. Even if you agree on one thing the motive is totally different. You are useless in the eyes of those people and sometimes you are like an angel to them.

That is how they see it and I can understand that and you should to. He used to insult me flat out disgusting curses but I don't hate him. I love him so much and you should to. Because I understand why he is doing that. He is not a bad person. So your mother and father.

It is not good to argue with anyone so avoid that. The moment you argue with anyone I call a clash of egos. Unless you have a feeling of being right, you don't argue. Remember everyone is right only their point of view is different. If you don't understand why they are the way they are, you shouldn't have to blame them too. Rather, you can send them a positive vibration healing vibration every time you meditate. Remember, you can only change yourself and it is not your responsibility to change them. However, sending a positive vibration helps them a lot. From experience, I know it does a lot.

Here is what my brother said to our family after he went to the US when they asked him about the mediation I do. He said, "I'm afraid of looking at his eyes cause his eyes don't blink. However, he doesn't care if I insult him and he smiles. He is so calm and doesn't bother about anything. He doesn't care if he makes a lot of cash, he doesn't care if he doesn't have cash. He doesn't feel sad. He is just happy the way he is." I assure you you don't have to worry about him. This is what he said.

I'm not telling you this to brag or anything. I'm telling you this to understand your mother and father. It is expected that they will laugh at you. My brother told our family that but when he was with me he used to come and dance in front of me wearing underwear only while I'm sitting in lotus form for meditation. He smiles and I smile with him cause I understand why he is doing it. And he will call me a fool and go to his room.

I will tell you this, It is challenging at first for you. when you start first playing a piano it is very hard to even lift one finger but day by day it will become second nature. In a similar way, the happiness you will get from AYP might not be consistent but little by little you will become stronger and stronger.

But this is important. Remember the moment you point out your fingers at others those three are pointing at you. Om Shanti



lalow33
USA
966 Posts

Posted - Nov 04 2019 :  8:09:49 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hey,

Self-harming is not good. I'd see the psychiatrist for sure.

Take care,
Lori




SeySorciere
Seychelles
1207 Posts

Posted - Nov 05 2019 :  05:33:13 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Dear redbullighter,

I would also strongly recommend that you seek professional help from a psychologist.

But yes, do keep up your AYP practices, it will help over the longer term.

Sey



Blanche
USA
606 Posts

Posted - Nov 05 2019 :  06:28:49 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Blanche's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Redbushlighter,

You are right: Ask for help and support from people close to you, and go today to see a psychiatrist. When the depression gets more serious, the brain does not work quite right, and medication helps. Do not harm yourself: As a yogi, you know that karma exists, and everything you do has consequences.

Meditation and other AYP practices will make a difference in long-term, when done regularly. The depression got here over some years, and it is reasonable to expect to take time to deal with it. Medication works much faster. Once you start the treatment, you could work with your doctor to find the dose effective for you, and maybe adjust it as the meditation starts to kick in.

There are other things that help with depression. Work out for an hour every day, and you will see a difference. Eliminate sugar and processed food/drinks from diet. Eat more fresh fruit and veggies. Make a list of things you enjoy, and include some of them in your daily life.

Keep a journal. Find out what works ? and later you may be able to help others who deal with the same problems. Some ups and downs are part of this world, sometimes we are happy and sometimes we are sad ? and this is ok. But depression as a form of suffering does not have to be part of life, and you can do something about it.

Wishing you the best!




redbushlighter
USA
22 Posts

Posted - Nov 05 2019 :  1:02:54 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Thank you everyone for your replies. I've been feeling a little better the past couple days. Mostly because I've made it a point to make some art for at least an hour each day. I forgot how helpful creative activity is for my mental health.

I've been wanting to take up yoga for some time now, but I don't have the money to afford yoga classes. I'm a bit hesitant to learn by myself because I feel like it's important to have a teacher so they can point out when you're doing something wrong. Are there any yoga practices you guys recommend for someone who'd be doing it by themselves?

Thanks again everyone.




Dogboy
USA
1711 Posts

Posted - Nov 06 2019 :  1:12:26 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
No shame in DVDs I started with Rodney Ye, a twenty minute morning routine. Also some local studios often have a free introductory class (check out all in your area) and that may be enough to get a general understanding of a proper pose. (Upright spine, palms and shoulders gently turned out, upper thighs gently turning in, are common body placement).
5
Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP / Approaching a childhood lacking in love
« Last post by AYPadmin on April 17, 2020, 09:35:09 AM »
redbushlighter
USA
22 Posts

Posted - Nov 02 2019 :  11:35:54 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Topic  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Message  Delete Topic
Hello everyone,

I've recently been coming to terms with the fact that I never felt any love from my parents growing up. Not that I was abused, I just don't think my parents knew how to love their children (they were not ready to have kids.)

This has affected me in many ways. It's hard for me to even analyze the way it's affected me because it has occurred on such a deep level. I judge myself very harshly, have trouble opening up to people (even the ones closest to me,) and I find it difficult to engage in activities that I otherwise love due to me believing that I can never get anywhere with them.

It's like a constant gnawing feeling. I generally resign to the feeling and just try to occupy my time meditating, reading, playing music. But it's always there. It has been an ongoing thing throughout my life and I'm not sure how to go about working with it. I recently started an audio book about Adult Children (I am 21) so I've got that.

I wonder if any of you can offer me some advice. I am in therapy right now but I am not going frequently enough (my therapist seems to only be able to see my twice a month.) I feel paralyzed most of the time and I want to heal. I want to so badly.

Thanks for reading. Take care



interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Nov 02 2019 :  2:51:51 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
redbushlighter, I feel for you. I too was raised by parents who didn't know how to love. It has come back to haunt me at times in intimate relationships as I feel unlovable at times and never feel like I can make up for the deficit from my childhood. Therapy is a good idea. AYP is helpful too. I joined a men's group recently and find this helpful for getting feedback from others who struggle with similar stuff. There are some AA type groups for adult children of dysfunctional families. You may be able to find regular meetings in your area to get additional support. Good luck.



Dogboy
USA
1711 Posts

Posted - Nov 03 2019 :  11:23:19 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Journal writing is a good way to organize your thoughts, feelings, regrets in a manner you can see, revisit, reflect upon. Shining a light on shadows makes them disappear, and even if they reappear, you know what does/does not reside in the darkness there.

At some point, forgiving your parents for their inadequacy will also help you. Forgiveness does not absolve them of the wrongdoing, but can get you to a place of peace and well being.

edit: wording
Edited by - Dogboy on Nov 03 2019 10:12:07 PM




redbushlighter
USA
22 Posts

Posted - Nov 03 2019 :  2:22:53 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Thank you Interpaul and Dogboy for your replies. You have each given me some things to think about.
6
Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP / Re: Out of Body Experience
« Last post by AYPadmin on April 17, 2020, 09:34:30 AM »
SeySorciere
Seychelles
1207 Posts

Posted - Oct 05 2019 :  01:02:04 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
So, 9 years down the line. How do you get out of your body when you are no longer in your body? It?s a question that puzzled me for years. After about two years 2010 - 2011 of exploring OBEs and astral journeys , I lost interest in the whole thing. In later years , when once in a while, I would wish to ?get out of my body? , I found I no longer knew how. I was no longer in my body but my body in me. So how to I access the astral? I still did at times but with no control, no Will, No sense of journeying, just sudden awareness of a different realm .
More years went by and I came to see that the astral too is within me. But still, how do I access specific places? Times?
Then, last night I had an experience. I have been ?keeping an eye? on a young nephew who has just discovered the ?fun? of marijuana and journeying. Except he doesn?t seem to be having fun... lower world entities and such resulting in psychotic episodes. So he was ?somewhere? riding an eagle, when I popped out beside him, traveling at great speed. He happily called out to me, then grabbed and pull me into the eagle with him. I felt my sight adjust to the eagle?s sight. For a moment all three were one. Then something within me felt that this was not right and I pull out and sat up. I don?t expect everyone to believe this story and think I was dreaming.

My point, you pop into places. Which is logical... don?t know why I didn?t see it before. That does not mean I now know how to do it at Will or how choose a specific location.


The wonders of our mind !


Sey




Stille
Germany
52 Posts

Posted - Oct 05 2019 :  06:47:28 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Thank you for your update SeySorciere! Just yesterday I was thinking about the subject and today this thread pops up
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CAA
USA
11 Posts

Posted - Nov 01 2019 :  11:31:28 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
These OBE's started happening to me a few years ago at night ( i wasn't looking for it to happen they just started) and lasted of and on for 6-8 months.. Its been a year since its happened. I guess if i tried to make them happen i could but i don't try really, although i find them very fascinating! Maybe as mediation progresses it will be like Tibetan ice and Holy speak of? Sounds fun!




CAA
USA
11 Posts

Posted - Nov 01 2019 :  11:42:58 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Also for those interested, the Frank Kepple resource is available online, just google his name. His experience with this subject is amazing to read about lots of his personal experiences and assistance for those who need help.



interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Nov 02 2019 :  2:46:05 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
I had been interested in this stuff awhile ago and was particularly interested in "proving" it was real to myself. I had my daughter place a random magazine on a random page on top of the bookshelf well above eye level. If I was able to leave my body and document what page the magazine was open to I would have definitive proof this is real. Unfortunately I have not been able to achieve this and found it was disrupting my sleep too much or taking too much time otherwise. Anyone do any experiments that "proved" they had left their body? After reading a number of the books can anyone recommend just one book to read that works most closely with the AYP practices?
7
Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP / Overview
« Last post by AYPadmin on April 17, 2020, 09:06:16 AM »
Cato
Germany
65 Posts

Posted - Oct 23 2019 :  12:13:49 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Topic  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Message  Delete Topic
Is there a nice overview that shows
which practice is done with which shatkarma and
the recommended order of practices (in terms of adding them to the routine in the first place and the recommended order of practices in the routine itself?


For example, mulabandha is done with pranayama but not in meditation, rising the eyes to the third eye is done in pranayama but not in yoni mudra or meditation, kechari is done in all of them etc.



Stille
Germany
52 Posts

Posted - Oct 24 2019 :  06:00:34 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
There is this summary of practises: https://aypsite.com/204.html. The order in which the practises are sorted in AYP is the recommended order I guess.
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Christi
United Kingdom
3684 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2019 :  05:09:17 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Cato,

There is a practice chart on the AYP Plus site here which shows the order that the practices are introduced, the timings of each practice depending on the level of the practitioner and the additions that can be used with each practice.

Christi
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Cato
Germany
65 Posts

Posted - Oct 27 2019 :  06:51:34 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Thanks for the useful hints

Christi, as there is no need to get full access to the Plus site for several months: Is there a way to purchase just the practice chart?
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Christi
United Kingdom
3684 Posts

Posted - Oct 27 2019 :  08:54:35 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Christi's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi Cato,

The chart is also published in ?Advanced Yoga Practices: Easy lessons for ecstatic living Vol 2?. It is on page P347. Right now it is not available separately.

Christi
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Cato
Germany
65 Posts

Posted - Oct 29 2019 :  3:03:48 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
It indeed is. Thanks, I haven't read so far yet.
8
Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP / Lakshmi Puja
« Last post by AYPadmin on April 17, 2020, 09:05:16 AM »
lalow33
USA
966 Posts

Posted - Oct 25 2019 :  8:25:01 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Topic  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Message  Delete Topic
Happy Lakshmi Puja to everyone that celebrates it!


Lori
9
Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP / Awake while dreaming?
« Last post by AYPadmin on April 17, 2020, 09:04:56 AM »
y154707
Argentina
5 Posts

Posted - Oct 22 2019 :  07:48:56 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Topic  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Message  Delete Topic
Hi everyone! I write (again!) to get your comments and thoughts on something that I think is related to my Yoga practice.

Since about 3-4 months, I've started to dream in a very "awake" way. What does it mean? well, I guess it's different to lucid dream (which I also have from time to time), because in my dreams I act, sense and think like I do in the awake state.

An example from last night dream: I was taking to someone in a party, someone that I haven't meet for a long time. While he was talking, I was thinking:
*"which was the name of this guy? I can't recall",
*"was he from college?, no, he can't be from college, because he's a few years older than me"
*"He has just told me that he is planning to quit his job and start his own bussiness? has he considered the economics of that desition? doing some quick math, and taking into account the economy situation of the country, this seems not a good idea"

And while I was thinking all this, as if I were awake, I was dreaming!. Weird!

Another example from a few nights ago: I eat a fruit and I taste the flavor. I really taste a flavor while dreaming! that never happended to me before!

And from time to time I can read in my dreams. Signpost, letters, even some small sentences. I've read that it was not possible to read in dreams, but it happens to me.

There seems to be a correlation between the days that I do my Yoga practice and the "wakeful" dreams, although these experiences are not exclusively realted to that days.

I'm quite curious in knowing what is happening in this proccess. I search online for reference to something similar with no luck. I've thought that maybe it has to do with a overstimulation of the senses (jnanendriyas) that can deliver its information to the mind while dreaming, and this proccess has to be more efficient than normal for this to happen.

It would be great if any of you know what would be happening and can share with me!.

Thank you very much
Namaste
10
Satsang Cafe - General Questions on AYP / Re: Renouncing sex completely, a goal?
« Last post by AYPadmin on April 17, 2020, 09:04:33 AM »
lalow33
USA
966 Posts

Posted - Oct 19 2019 :  2:47:36 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Wow Blanche!

There's a certain beauty in honesty. I think you nailed it!

It's so nice that we can share our different perspectives.
Edited by - lalow33 on Oct 19 2019 2:51:27 PM




interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Oct 19 2019 :  8:45:35 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
lalow33 and Blanch, Thanks for your comments. Lori, I assume when you recommend talking with common sense friends you are suggesting my exploring these esoteric practices is a bit out there. Maybe I am misunderstanding your comments. When I speak with my friends who know my wife and I well, they all raise concerns about her unwillingness to meet me half way after years of trying. I have devoted myself to my wife and kids. I have tried many many things to connect with her. I have to the best of my ability focused on connecting with her in all other arenas of our life. I sense from Blanche's comments the assumption is I am not trying hard enough. I realize this is an online forum where anyone who is willing to share their thoughts does so with the limited information they have to work with. I do appreciate your comments,Blanche, as many of them fit with suggestion friends of my have made. I have developed a deeper love for my wife despite our struggles. Divorce is not something I desire in my 50s and I posted not to be told whether to divorce or not but rather to get a sense from this community of AYP practitioners if the idea of renouncing physical sex is a realistic part of the path or just something we read about in spiritual books. That is has anyone here found that sacrifice has brought them closer in relating to others or if, as lalow33 suggests, may not fit with common sense. Ultimately AYP is not a "common" path, therefore it may not make "sense" to most of the world. Thank you all for engaging with me in this exploration.




sunyata
USA
1415 Posts

Posted - Oct 20 2019 :  06:53:44 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hi interpaul,

You?ve received excellent advice from everyone. Look up spiritual bypassing if you haven?t already.
I commend your devotion to your wife and family. I?m really enjoying reading all your posts and inquiry.

Continue with your practice and do not make drastic changes as Sey suggested. Remember to be kind to yourself and love yourself big just like you do to your family. This path is about transcendence and ecstatic bliss. But, it is equally being with parts of us we may have rejected and disowned. Sometimes on the path there can be a tendency to cling on to spiritual concepts and ignore our humanness. Wholeness seems to arise when we are totally okay with all aspects of us. As they say the only way out is through. Perhaps this is what Yogani calls being divine human.

Much Love,
Sunyata
Edited by - sunyata on Oct 20 2019 07:00:12 AM




Blanche
USA
606 Posts

Posted - Oct 20 2019 :  08:46:44 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Visit Blanche's Homepage  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Hello Interpaul,

I do not assume that I know everything you have done for your relationship. I do assume that you have done your best. My first post in this thread focused on suggestions for a new perspective on relationships. The only way to get a different outcome is to try something new. For example, do you know that when it comes to choosing partners, men are tuned to visual information, while women pay attention to olfactory stimuli (smells)? Hence, the shower and the new shirt. Overall, doing the things that we all do naturally when we are in love makes for better relationships and a more fun life. We can all use more of these.

AYP is dealing with the classic yoga path in a clear and open way. We are all on a spiritual path, if we know it or not. As we become more aware, we realize that everything is a yoga lesson, including our relationships. And we have the option to engage in our relationships as a form of bhakti yoga (loving devotion to the Divine) or karma yoga (yoga of action, selfless service to others). You could do this more consciously now, or you will find that these come things come naturally to you as you continue with the AYP practices.

Your posts make a very important point related to non-attachment. Yoga requires practice and non-attachment. The practice is clear ? see the AYP lessons. Your question about ?renouncing physical sex? as a ?realistic part of the path? might seem to refer to the practice aspect, but in this context it refers to non-attachment. A yogi that renounces sex to preserve sexual energy, but experiences this as a ?sacrifice? will have to deal sooner or later with his decision and his sexuality. This is the reason living in the world and dealing with all the daily consequences of our actions and beliefs make for a better spiritual school that going to a cave to try to get away from everyone and everything. We carry our attachments with us, in our mind. We take our problems and the world with us everywhere we go. Non-attachment is not the result of a simple decision. Practice helps, especially mantra meditation, by dissolving our identification with the objects of perception. I would argue that changing our attitude, focusing more on others than ourselves, shifting from I, me, mine to ?the Beloved? (the object of your devotion) will cultivate non-attachment and make for a smoother faster journey.

Best wishes for your chosen path




lalow33
USA
966 Posts

Posted - Oct 20 2019 :  11:32:49 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
quote:
Originally posted by interpaul

lalow33 and Blanch, Thanks for your comments. Lori, I assume when you recommend talking with common sense friends you are suggesting my exploring these esoteric practices is a bit out there. Maybe I am misunderstanding your comments. When I speak with my friends who know my wife and I well, they all raise concerns about her unwillingness to meet me half way after years of trying. I have devoted myself to my wife and kids. I have tried many many things to connect with her. I have to the best of my ability focused on connecting with her in all other arenas of our life. I sense from Blanche's comments the assumption is I am not trying hard enough. I realize this is an online forum where anyone who is willing to share their thoughts does so with the limited information they have to work with. I do appreciate your comments,Blanche, as many of them fit with suggestion friends of my have made. I have developed a deeper love for my wife despite our struggles. Divorce is not something I desire in my 50s and I posted not to be told whether to divorce or not but rather to get a sense from this community of AYP practitioners if the idea of renouncing physical sex is a realistic part of the path or just something we read about in spiritual books. That is has anyone here found that sacrifice has brought them closer in relating to others or if, as lalow33 suggests, may not fit with common sense. Ultimately AYP is not a "common" path, therefore it may not make "sense" to most of the world. Thank you all for engaging with me in this exploration.


Hey interpaul,

It's cool to disagree with me.

Sometimes, we don't listen or hear our common sense friends. We aren't open to that.
Guilty!

What you should do is in your own heart. Just listen to that if ya can. If not, I highly recommend common sense friends.

Take care,
Lori




interpaul
USA
91 Posts

Posted - Oct 21 2019 :  12:41:37 AM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
Sunyata, Blanche and Lori, Thank you so much for your thoughtful reply to my questions. I feel a lot of love being shared here and for that I am deeply grateful. Yes, I've wondered at times if I am on a spiritual bypass path. Having struggled so much for so long with my marriage I've gone down many different dead end paths. I do hold onto some hope for my marriage as my wife and I still do share love for each other, yet, I don't feel like she enjoys being with me as much as she used to. Fortunately I do shower regularly and have upgraded my wardrobe at times . Doing my AYP practices has forced me into a place of feeling my feelings a lot more than I used to. I feel much more sensitive now to emotional distance from my wife and teenage daughters. This does not affect my work as I have a lot of love to share and fortunately at work people enjoy the attention I have to give. I do sense I am facing some of my burried woundsfrom early life. Hopefully the growing bliss I feel with these practices will give me the strength to face my fears rather than run from them.




sunyata
USA
1415 Posts

Posted - Oct 21 2019 :  1:57:42 PM  Show Profile  Email Poster  Edit Reply  Reply with Quote  View user's IP address  Get a Link to this Reply  Delete Reply
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