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Lesson 235 - Blending Inner Silence and Ecstasy  (Audio)

AYP Plus Additions:
235.1 - Whole Body is Buzzing  (Audio)

From: Yogani
Date: Sat Sep 11, 2004 3:59pm

New Visitors: It is recommended you read from the beginning of the web archive, as previous lessons are prerequisite to this one. The first lesson is, "Why This Discussion?"

Q1: I was wondering about something: After about the second week, I stopped having all that sexual energy raging through me when I meditated which I first wrote you about. (This is day 24 for me) 

I recently started using a rolled up sock to sit on since I can't get my foot under me. And I haven't noticed any difference in my experience during the spinal breathing or meditation as a result of adding the sock. My meditation is more peaceful now and, as I said, all that surging energy has stopped. My head feels lighter when I meditate and I think it's deeper now. But is the decline of energy rushes something to be expected? 

After I read lesson #75 (on siddhasana), I expected that "bucking bronco" which is what I experienced the first week or two to repeat itself but it didn't. I'm not complaining. Believe me, I'm glad that has stopped. It was somewhat overwhelming But I just wanted to check on this. Do most people who first experience the "bucking bronco" also have it calm down and stop after a while? 

My other question is that sometimes my meditation gets so still and quiet, that I realize after some moments that I have forgotten to repeat the I AM mantra. There are no thoughts coming in. I am just blank and enjoying the stillness. Should I not worry about it when this happens and just allow myself to be blank and enjoy that stillness or go back to the mantra? 

And lastly, sometimes when I go to bed, if I don't take something to help me sleep, my body, mainly in my head, seems to be vibrating. It's like a low energy current going through my head. Sometimes I see flashes of color (eyes closed) but mainly it's just a feeling like I'm buzzing. Is this one of the chakras trying to open?

A1: So much of energy experiences are due to what I call "friction" in the nervous system - energy passing through partially loosened obstructions. This can give the impression of a lot happening (erotic feelings, heat, vibration, physical movements, mood swings, etc.). Once the obstructions have been cleared out somewhat, then the experience can be much smoother and blissful. Same energy - less friction. I mentioned early on that experiences would change. That is the reason - changing patterns of obstructions in the nervous system as they are loosened and dissolved. This does not mean you are on the verge of total purification (though we'd all welcome it) - just that there is more clarity at the moment. You are seeing between the slowly dissolving clouds. It will change again. 

As for siddhasana, if there is no bucking bronco, that is okay too. Look for pleasant sexual stimulation in the way you do siddhasana. Not to overdo or anything. But it is a tantric practice, you know, the essence of which is preorgasmic stimulation. That, combined with inner silence, is the enlightenment formula. It takes time to cultivate the appropriate blend. Make sure to check out tantra lessons #16 and #28. Both provide additional perspective on siddhasana. It is pretty advanced stuff, so don't expect to have it all pulled together in a month. It will take time. You will get there. Everyone will. It is written in our genes. 

Quiet meditations are nice. When you realize you have been off the mantra, just ease back to it in a very refined way at whatever level of thinking (or non-thinking) you are in. Don't pull it all the way back out to a clear pronunciation. It can be a very faint feeling of the mantra, and then you are gone into blissful silent awareness again. That is right practice. It is correct use of the mantra that got us there, and it is continued correct use of the mantra that takes us even deeper. Then our whole nervous system is infused with blissful inner silence when we go out into activity. That is why we meditate. 

On sleep, make sure you are meditating before dinner and having some good mental and/or physical activity between dinner and bedtime. That way, releases in meditation will be least likely to interfere with sleep. If you were inclined toward those energy experiences in sleep anyway, before beginning meditation, then some other measures may be necessary, like the pills. If you work the energy out before bed with more activity, that could help. Over time in yoga, there will be less inner "friction" in sleep also, and in all of life. 

If the inner energy movements become excessive in sleep, or at any other time, and seem related to practices, then it is time to think about self-pacing - scaling back in practices a bit until things calm down. 

Q2: Before reading the lessons (tantra #16 & #28) you referred me to, in my next meditation, I sat on my rolled up sock during my breathing and meditation again. During my meditation, I felt the need to move one of my crossed legs and not finding a comfortable position for it, I put it up on top of my crossed thigh near my body. This resulted in more weight going down on the ball, pressing it harder against that area. Soon my body started to gently rock back and forth forward and back a little. This created a preorgasmic sensation. I found it pleasurable and a little frustrating because of wanting to achieve orgasm. But the main thing is even though I was thinking I AM my attention was more on the sexual stimulation than on the mantra. It was almost laughable. My body is thinking of satisfying this sexual pleasure and my mind is shouting I AM. 

So now my question: Should I encourage the rocking to stimulate the sexual feelings? I had the impression that just sitting still it should happen. 

A2: Ah, the bucking bronco! 

It is suggested you keep it at a level of stimulation that does not disrupt your meditation too much. That means staying pretty still with moderate pressure. Later on the energy can be increased as conductivity rises in the nervous system, so it will not be so frustrating. It is an evolution that takes months, or even years. In the meantime, just keep it near simmering without too much distraction. 

If it is too much of a distraction in meditation, you can use siddhasana more in spinal breathing where energy distractions are not so critical, and then leave (or reduce) siddhasana during meditation. You will find your balance, as long as you remain clear about the principle involved - inner silence balanced and blending with ecstatic energy. 

Once you get to be an old hand at siddhasana, you will be able to sit in total stimulation with no sexual frustration at all. Just a fountain of ecstasy flowing upward through your nervous system, cascading through endless realms of unbounded inner silence! That is the fruit of siddhasana, and why it is such an important tantric practice. It enables us to transform sexual energy to unending divine ecstasy. All of the tantric practices are for this. Siddhasana happens to be one that can be done daily in our scheduled practices. That kind of consistency in practice is not possible in sexual relations, though plenty can be done with tantric methods when sexual relations do occur. See the rest of the tantra lessons on that. 

Over time, as we cultivate the transformation in sitting practices, we find the experience of ecstatic bliss coming up naturally from within throughout the day. Our view of life expands infinitely as this happens, and we find ourselves in a position to joyously give much to those around us. This is what we mean by "ecstatic living."

The guru is in you.

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Note: For detailed instructions on siddhasana, see the AYP Asanas, Mudras and Bandhas book.  For detailed instructions on building a balanced daily practice routine with self-pacing, see the Eight Limbs of Yoga Book, and AYP Plus.

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